Unheard Voices
by Nessa4
Summary: Tris and Tobias had their story. But what about all the others? Amar, Tori, Marcus, Zeke, Christina, Caleb and so many more: this is their story. Starts at Tobias's Choosing Ceremony, T for violence.
1. Tori: Divergent

'It's okay,' I say, 'it doesn't hurt.'

The boy looks up at me, none of his obvious nervousness fading away. _Okay… _So if he isn't worried about the pain, then what is there to be worried about?

I can imagine exactly what Georgie would say. _No, what could there possibly be to worry about? You know, only the fear that they'll have to leave their families forever in order to belong, or that they'll go to a place where they may not fit in. Otherwise nothing, nothing at all… _I can hear his ironic laugh and almost smile, before trying to focus myself on the current task.

'Drink it,' I say, handing him a cup of simulation serum. We don't inject this one, for reasons that the Erudite are unwilling to divulge. If I had lived a few years ago, then, being a former Erudite, I may have still had clearance to find out why. But now, they will surely have deleted me from their records. I will never be classed as an Erudite again.

The boy stares at the drink somewhat suspiciously, hesitating noticeably. 'Can't tell you what happens,' I say, stopping him from having to say anything. We cannot divulge what happens, because their fear could prevent them from being fully immersed in the simulation, and because their knowledge of what will happen may carry over to the simulation and make them aware of what is happening in the real world. I am one of the only people who knows every possible scenario in the simulation.

I attach the electrodes to my head, and the simulation begins.

As we both emerge from the simulation, I give the boy - Tobias, I think his name was - as strange a look as I can muster up. He looks back at me confusedly, sensing something wrong, and I try to arrange my features into an indifferent mask. Abnegation children can practically smell fear.

I don't need to analyse the printed sheet of paper telling me his actions and the result that he got from them; I was watching too closely for that. He jumped in front of the dog without hesitating; that alone is a strong indicator for Abnegation. His result was Abnegation, but it is not what I expected. There was some sort of fire and determination that told me… what, exactly? That he could be a Divergent?

He knew what was coming. I'm sure of it.

Divergent. A word that must be spoken in a hushed voice, behind locked doors, with caution and care; or they will find you, and they will kill you.

I have to tell him.

I cannot tell him.

I tie my hair back - it came loose during the test - I prefer my hair loose, but I'm just stalling for time. What do I say? What do I do? There are no instructions on what to do when this happens.

Some children are told what happens in the simulation by their parents, who have already been through it; perhaps because these parents delude themselves into thinking that they are helping, some because they are insecure about the fact that their child has their own future in their hands.

Other children are told not just what to expect, but what to do, down to the letter. It's not as uncommon as the leaders believe.

Some children follow the advice; some don't. Either way, I can tell what they have been told; I always can.

I look at him, and he stares unflinchingly back at me.

I have to know.

'When you were in the simulation… were you aware that it wasn't real?' I turn off the machine, doing my best casual _no-big-deal _voice, but by the look he gives me, he obviously doesn't believe me, and for a good reason.

'No,' he says, but he's lying, and I can tell. My brother was Divergent and he is now dead; if it has taught me nothing else, it has taught me how to spot lies. 'If I was,' he adds, 'do you think I would've chewed through my lip?'

It is a relatively good argument, and there is quite a lot of blood, but I don't believe him for one second. I watch him, waiting for him to crack, but he looks back at me, and I am the first one to look away as I bite the ring in my lip; it hurts, but the sharp pain clears my thoughts, sharpens my mind.

I will not tell him.

'Congratulations,' I say, trying to remain calm and under control. 'Your result was textbook Abnegation.'

I am speaking the truth, so why do I feel so guilty?

He nods, but he looks far from happy. Watching these people react to their results is something I find interesting; some look happy, some relieved, pleased, nervous, upset; I have seen it all. 'Aren't you pleased?' I ask.

'My faction members will be,' he replies evasively. Clever, this one is; I have to give him credit.

'I didn't ask about them, I asked about you.' Faction members can get over choices, even the ones that they believe to be the wrong ones; all it takes is time. _Time heals all wounds; _a saying from Erudite that was drummed into all of us from a very young age. But that's not what I'm trying to say. The real meaning of my words is, _Look pleased, look happy, relieved, something, _anything.

'This is a safe room, you can say whatever you want here.' I regret the words almost as soon as they are out of my mouth. There are no safe places, no safe rooms, not in this world full of cameras monitoring everything said by everyone in every place.

'I'm pleased,' he says firmly, and I nod. He turns to leave, but I'm overwhelmed with a thought; _don't let him go. _I finally get out the words that have been sticking in my throat since we were pulled out of the simulation, holding onto his arm so he doesn't leave.

'You're the one who has to live with your choice. Everyone else will get over it, move on, no matter what you decide. But you never will.'

He holds my gaze for a moment, then nods and walks out. _You may be Divergent, _I want to say, but I don't. _It's too dangerous, _I tell myself, but is that the real reason? The words stay stuck in my throat like those strange, soft, brightly coloured balls the Amity children always play with. I think of my brother, who was Divergent and is now dead.

I only wish I was not so powerless to ensure that other innocents do not follow the same fate.

**A/N: Wooop, a revision of the first chapter! I hated my first version of the first three chapters, but never really found the time to do it - I meant to write a proper chapter that you guys haven't seen before, but this just kind of happened :P **

**I know that I've already requested suggestions, but if you give me a suggestion, updates will significantly speed up, I promise! I just have no idea what to do right now… I'm thinking a Caleb POV or an Amar POV, what do you guys think? **

**Thanks for reading! A review would mean everything to me! **


	2. Marcus: Choices

**Trigger warning: child abuse - I've tried to keep it as non-graphic as possible, but I didn't want to completely pass it over - it's quite a bit less graphic than my first version of the chapter, but still enough.**

When I wake up, it feels like a completely normal day. The sun is shining, something I liked a long time ago. I have never said anything about it - what would be the point? - but sunrises remind me of Evelyn. She was the one who first taught me how to appreciate the beauty of our planet; the one who showed me the sunrise and the sunset, the beauty of fire and trees and sky and so many other things.

When she died, my appreciation of them died with her.

I know that she is not dead; but in my mind, she is. If I will never communicate with her again, never see or speak to or hear her, what is the point of her being alive?

My son is a walking copy of her; not his eyes, which are as dark blue as mine, contrasting with Evelyn's light brown eyes, but they both share a hooked nose, and very long fingers… and in the deeper things, the ways that matter - their way of walking, their smiles - straight, close-lipped Abnegation smiles, rarely seen…

The same as Evelyn; the woman who left me.

The woman I loved.

Tobias is moving just as slowly as I am; dressing slowly, taking a freezing shower, walking to his bedroom to get the hair clippers. There is only one length of hair acceptable for an Abnegation male, and it has been a while, too long, since it was cut. As he stands in front of the mirror to cut his hair, I take the clippers from his hands. 'Let me,' I say, using my gentlest voice - which is not much. 'It's your Choosing Day, after all.'

I start to buzz his hair. My fingers stabilize his head perhaps a little too hard, and I see him wince slightly. Is he remembering yesterday evening? I am not, but I cannot say the same for him.

_This is rank with self-indulgence! It poisons the house with its selfishness!'_

_Old fragments of a computer, glasses without lenses, stubs of pencil, pieces of string; he has stored everything away in the trunk that I always assumed was for blankets. It is self-indulgence, and I did not raise my son to be self-indulgent. This deserves punishment. _

_I push him against the wall, determined to give him a lesson that he will not forget, but then he shouts, 'The Choosing Ceremony!' and I pause._

_I know that it will be a scandal for the main government representative's son to go out with bruises on his face. I stop. 'Fine. Stay there,' but I can't leave it at that. If I do, he will never learn his lesson, and it is my responsibility as a father to teach him what he needs to learn. My son is a self-indulgent liar, and he needs to be taught what is right and what is not._

_So I take the belt, and know that he will never tell. He is as much of a coward as he is a liar. After everything is as broken beyond recognition, I open the door and walk out; he can clean up the mess on his own._

'You know what to expect,' I say, back in government representative mode. I barely remember what happened before; he was self-indulgent, and I taught him not to be. What else is there to remember?

Tobias should already know what to expect; he has watched Choosing Ceremonies since he was old enough to walk; he knows that the Abnegation cut their hands and let the blood fall into the right bowl, where they make the right choice.

'You'll stand in your place; when your name is called, you'll go forward to get your knife. Then you'll cut yourself and drop the blood into the right bowl.' I don't bother telling him that there is no other option but Abnegation. He should know that already.

He stares at me, our eyes locking in the mirror, neither looking away. I do my best to smile, though I don't think it works. 'The knife will only hurt for a second,' I continue, 'then your choice will be made, and it will be over.' He'll make the right choice; I know he will. He'll make the one best for him, for his own good.

Suddenly, there's a strange emotion flashing in his eyes, something I have never seen in him before. 'Don't worry about me handling the pain,' he says. 'I've had a lot of practise.'

_It was for your own good, _I want to say. He never appreciates how much I have taught him. But I only give him my death stare; it is not worth retaliating. He falters, fear in his eyes. I control my anger with an effort, switch off the clippers, cover up the mirror and set them on the ledge.

He can clean up the hair; he needs to learn how to depend on himself. Another thing I've been doing for his own good.

I read the Erudite news to him; nothing interesting; and leave him to wash the dishes. We silently walk out of the house, towards the Hub.

Why am I worried? He will choose the right bowl. I told him what to do in the aptitude test; _choose the cheese over the knife, but don't show too much disdain for the knife; _that will point towards Amity; _throw yourself in front of the dog, and tell the man you know him. You'll know what to do. _He promised that was what he did, and that the woman administering the aptitude test barely looked at him on the way out.

_It's okay. _He will choose Abnegation, for his own good. He knows what the right choice is, and I trust that he will make it.

It takes us a long time to get to the Hub. The stairs are steep, and we all have to stick together. I see Tobias press his lips together and try not to breathe too hard; we would not want to be seen as complaining.

The ceremony goes slowly. After a typical Dauntless speech where I try not to outwardly show my disdain; I feel that my speech three years ago was much better; the children begin to choose.

Amity, Candor, Abnegation, Dauntless, or Erudite; the choice is theirs. Most go by what their results were in the aptitude test, though some do not. I know Tobias will; years ago, I chose Abnegation, and that is what Tobias will do.

The names are called in reverse alphabetical order. _Eaton, Tobias. _I straighten up; I want to watch him make his choice.

He receives his knife from the Dauntless man; Max, I think; and I try to quell a sudden flash of worry. He will choose Abnegation. He is too volatile for Amity, not intelligent enough for Erudite, far too much of a liar to be in Candor, and the idea of my son being the first Abnegation-Dauntless transfer in decades is almost laughable. He is not going to fit in anywhere but Abnegation.

Tobias cuts into his palm without a blink. _Too deep, _I want to tell him; he has cut so deep I'm surprised that he doesn't flinch at all. He looks at me, meeting my eyes. I nod. _The right choice. _He curls up his palm into a fist to collect the blood, and then he makes his choice; but it is not the grey stones that stain with red.

I watch as his blood sizzles on the coals.

_Dauntless?_

**A/N: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand the second chapter is revised! And it's now one that I'm pleased with! What do you guys think of it? I've actually kind of enjoyed getting into Marcus's head - I think that in some twisted way he cares about Tobias and wants to protect him - he's just doing it in all the wrong ways. Do you know what I mean? **

**A review would mean everything, especially from the people who have read the original chapter and who can compare the two! Thanks! :)**


	3. Amar: Welcome to Dauntless

The Stiff looks just like all of the other young men and women in his faction; the sort of young people who could be so much taller and stronger if they held themselves up and had confidence, but who look small and scared and not worth much.

He looks like all the other Stiffs, but how can he be, when he chose Dauntless?

He won't survive. You need to be fairly strong, physically, mentally, and emotionally, to be accepted into Dauntless. Four years ago, they changed the training methods to make then somewhat more brutal; it used to be about friendships and fun, but now it is more serious. Perhaps four years ago, he would have survived.

But now, he has so much less of a chance.

He cut far too deep in his palm. I watch him rip off a strip of his shirt, and wind it round his hand; the grey cloth turns a deep red almost instantly. I wince in sympathy; everyone should know not to cut that deep, but I guess they aren't all taught the same way.

He stands next to an Erudite transfer; Evan? Ethan? Eric, who gives him a nasty glare. Erudite transfers are fairly common. I scan the crowd of transfers; mostly Candor, from whom we gain as many as we lose. A few Erudite, who all seem to know each other; and one Abnegation. He's limping slightly, and holds himself very stiffly. He's just like the initiates after a week of training.

I wonder what made him transfer to Dauntless.

We jump onto the train here. Tobias has fallen behind the crowd of shouting laughing initiates, who are sprinting ahead like they don't have a care in the world, but Tori still keeps pace with him. I leap onto the train. I love the thrill of Dauntless fear, being suspended in mid-air, holding onto the train bar only by my hands...

...and then my feet touch the ground, and it's over.

The Stiff is still running with Tori; she guides him onto the train. She jumps flawlessly, accustomed as all Dauntless are to the train, but the Stiff doesn't manage it so well. He jumps decently, bending his legs and stretching out, but isn't ready for the swinging of the train and hits his nose hard on the bar.

It looks painful, but I can't help laughing softly. 'Smooth,' I say, smiling.

'Finesse is for Erudite show-offs, ' Tori replies, with more than a hint of chastising in her voice. 'He made it onto the train, Amar, that's what counts.'

Tori and I are good friends. Once, a long time ago, she accused me of liking her brother far more, and just being friends with me so I could get closer to him; she knows the friendship Georgie and I shared, and I hope more than anything she that doesn't hate us for it. He was Erudite as well as her, though she is older than him, and they transferred at different times.

'He's supposed to be in the other car, though,' I say. 'With the other initiates.' I remember the way he lost them as they sprinted ahead at full speed. I've heard that Stiffs don't run around much; it's probably true. Apparently Stiffs don't do anything interesting. Some say it's why they rarely transfer; they don't have the heart to change routines. 'If he's friends with you, I guess it's okay. What's your name, Stiff?'

'You can call me Stiff for all I care,' he replies, in a sharper voice than I've ever heard an Abnegation use - though he isn't Abnegation, not anymore. I have seen people like him before; people striving to create a new identity, to be the person they want to be rather than the person they are.

As the train climbs gradually, he backs away from the door and sits against one wall. I ask Tori in a low voice, 'Do you know him?'

'Yes, I administered his aptitude test.' Tori takes my hint and speaks quietly enough that no one can hear us. The Stiff doesn't notice; I have a feeling that heights will feature heavily in his fear landscape.

'What did he get?' What do I expect? Dauntless? Abnegation?

She hesitates. 'Abnegation.'

'Really?' I'm surprised.

'Not all of them do, you know. Haven't you ever done an aptitude test?' Tori smiles, knowing just as well as I do that I don't do aptitude tests. Telling a sixteen-year-old where they belong for the rest of their life is a responsibility I don't want to have.

The train slows slightly, and I know we're approaching the Wall; a ten-storey building. 'Get up, Stiff,' I say, careful to keep my voice neutral. I don't like calling him that; gently mocking Abnegation from a distance is what Dauntless do, but when there is one sitting in front of us, still silently trying to staunch the flow of blood from his hand, it is obvious that he is not a Stiff, not anymore.

'It's almost time to jump,' I continue. They are supposed to figure it out for themselves; we don't make it that hard, it's not Erudite, but we like to give them a challenge; but seeing as he's here, I know it won't make that much of a difference.

He frowns up at me. 'Jump?'

'Yeah,' I reply. 'This train stops for no one.'

He gets to his feet without a word of complaint, and I feel vaguely surprised; most initiates at least voice their concerns, and if I had to choose the person I thought was most likely to freak out and refuse to jump, it would have been him. If he's not scared, I guess it's good, though; better than if he flipped out like I have seen all too often.

Tori shoves him to the front and he leaps, arms and legs flailing, a stronger jump than his one onto the train, then falls forward on his hands and knees.

Gabe makes his jump. 'Damn,' he says, 'I was hoping we'd get to scrape some Stiff pancake off the pavement later.'

I give him a hard shove. 'Shut it,' I hiss, landing him precariously close to the edge where the end of the train is just moving off into the distance. I'm not ready for anyone to criticize him, not yet, not before they truly know what he's capable of.

I step up onto the ledge; as the Dauntless main instructor, it is my responsibility to lead them through the very first step into Dauntless initiation. The Stiff works it out before any of the other initiates do, and fear fills his eyes. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath; he's perceptive, I'll give him that.

I can't stop the grin that spreads over my face as I look over at Tori, my excitement infecting her as she grins back at me. Letting out a euphoric laugh, I begin to feel the Dauntless mania. I love it here; I love it.

A new year, with new initiates, and a new method of training.

It's going to be amazing.

**A/N: And this chapter is revised! I am now happy with all of my chapters! Thank you so much for bearing with me right now - I promise I'll get to properly new chapters soon…**

**Thanks for the reviews, follows and faves! They really keep me going! :)**


	4. Eric: Fearless

I really want to be fearless.

To be without fear. To be able to jump off a ledge without knowing what's at the bottom, to walk into the aptitude test room and have a slow, steady heartbeat. I want to be completely fearless.

Invincible.

The idea completely seduces me. Especially as we're about to find out just how many fears we have. I'd rather get a knife to the eye than tell anyone, but I'm a little worried. We've only just arrived here and already, we've jumped onto a train without it stopping, jumped off it seven stories up, leaped off a ledge without knowing what was underneath, and we're now going to be put under a simulation to find out how many fears we have.

I see why they call it Dauntless.

The train journey was amazing. The heights, the speed, nothing like I've ever experienced before. I hated the jump. I hope that that won't show up in my fear landscape.

I didn't see the Stiff on the train journey. I hoped he'd fallen out the train or even better, not made it on at all, but I saw him on the rooftop. He made it with only a skinned knee and enough gravel in his hands to pick out for a week. I almost broke my ankle jumping down. It hurts like hell. I wanted to slap him in the face for finding it so easy when he's a Stiff, just an unimportant factionless-loving Stiff. Even an Amity should be able to beat him, the way he looks.

I look at Mia, the sole Amity transfer. _On second thoughts, maybe not._

_Eric, get it together. You're Dauntless now. A twisted ankle is nothing._

My Erudite curiosity comes to the surface and for a few minutes I begin to wonder how the simulation works. Is it manipulated? Do we control it? Is it general fears or specifically tailored to fit us? All Amar said is _a simulation in which you confront your worst fears. _That doesn't help at all.

I can't stop myself from speaking aloud. 'How is that possible? You don't know our worst fears.'

Amar turns to me, as does everyone else. 'Eric, right?' I feel a flicker of pride that he remembers my name. 'You're correct, I don't know your worst fears, but the serum I am going to inject you with will stimulate the parts of your brain that process fear, and you will come up with the simulation obstacles yourself, so to speak. In this simulation, unlike in the aptitude test simulation, you will be aware that what you are seeing is not real. Meanwhile, I will be in this room, controlling the simulation, and I get to tell the program embedded in the simulation serum to move on to the next obstacle once your heart rate reaches a particular level - once you calm down, in other words, or face your fear in a significant way. When you run out of fears, the program will terminate and you will 'wake up' in that room again with a greater awareness of your own fears.'

_Wow, _I think, _that's amazing. _I bet the Erudite developed it. They're the only ones who even understand serums, from what I've been told.

Amar picks up a syringe. They are arranged in lines, neat rows of syringes and needles. Then he beckons to me.

'Allow me to satisfy your Erudite curiosity,' he says. 'You get to go first.'

_Damn it, _I think. I don't want to go first. Yes, I'm interested, but I don't know what my fears are, and I don't want everyone watching.

'But-' I start to protest.

'But, I am your initiation instructor and it's in your best interest to do as I say.' Amar gives me a look that tells me not to refuse.

I stand still for a moment, thoughts running through my head. I wonder how many fears the Stiff has. He probably has twenty or something.

It's strange how they are doing the fear landscape first this year. We haven't eaten anything, we are still in our former faction's clothing, and we are already finding out how many fears we have.

I take off my blue jacket and drape it over the back of the chair. I'm not happy about removing it, but God knows what will happen in this simulation. I walk to Amar as slowly as possible, and I know I'm really irritating him. _Good. _He sticks the needle into my neck. I clench my fists at the sharp pain.

Everything goes fuzzy. I have a vague sensation of being pushed into a different room, then the serum pulls me under…

…and I wake up with roaring in my ears. It isn't just my ears, however - it's the water I'm suspended over. I'm hanging over the waterfall in Erudite, clutching the bridge. My knuckles are turning white and my hands are aching but if I let go I'm going to crash into the rapids and be swept away…

I don't scream. Instead, I repeat, _Simulation, simulation, simulation, _over and over again until my brain grasps the meaning. I remember Amar's words - _I will be in this room controlling the simulation, and I get to tell the program embedded in the simulation serum to move on to the next obstacle once your heart rate reaches a particular level - once you calm down. _There was also something about facing your fear, but anything to do with that makes my heart rate spike worse.

I take a deep breath and release it, counting slowly to ten, but I know my heart is still too fast. Deep breath in, deep breath out. Over and over again, until the scene blurs and is replaced by…

…a mountain?

It looks like a mountain, at least. Rocky, cold, and very, very high. I have no rope or harness but I'm not afraid of heights. This isn't so bad.

Suddenly the ground starts to shake. I take a step backwards, and everything happens at once.

The sky turns gray. Thunder rumbles. And fire explodes out of the mountain.

_Magma, _my mind supplies. _Magma, lava, all the things that you typically get in a volcano. This is a volcano, isn't it?_

We were taught about volcanoes in a geography lesson a very long time ago. We were told that there are no active volcanoes anywhere near here, and there won't be an eruption for the foreseeable future. But I've always been terrified of a volcano eruption.

I run down the volcano, tripping and stumbling, not saying a word. When I'm a safe distance away from the magma and lava heading towards me, I start to take deep breaths. This is a simulation, nothing more, and there isn't anything in this that can hurt me.

I keep taking silent, deep breaths. _Don't say a word. In, out. No screaming, _even though that's what I really want to do right now…

The strategy works. When the scene blurs, everything goes dark. For a moment I think I only have two fears, but then I know that isn't even possible.

It takes a few moments for me to work it out, but when I do, it sends me into a severe state of panic.

I'm blind.

I always knew that was going to come. I hate the darkness, I hate being able to sense things without seeing them, I hate not knowing what's going on.

But I keep facing my fears in the same way. It all goes smoothly, if exhaustingly, until the twelfth one. There's a bit of a blank space after I've faced being thrown out of Dauntless, nothing coming, nothing going. But I know there's going to be one more.

Alex.

He hasn't appeared yet, but I know that he's going to. Waiting for this one may be a fear in itself, especially as I can't think of anything else I'm scared of. My heart rate rises and I can't stop it, although there's nothing to be scared of. He may not appear…

Well, that's not true, is it? Of course he's going to appear. I had nightmares about it for a year after it happened.

The blankness around me shifts. And _he's there._ Suddenly, out of nowhere, standing in the middle of the room with a gun barrel pressed to his forehead.

'_No,' _I breathe, because it isn't coming out any louder than that. It's the first time I make any sound. He presses the gun further into his head, and he's going to shoot himself, I know it. He shot himself in front of me, and this has been my worst fear, to live it again.

But he just stands there, looking at me with those green eyes full of longing and sadness. But no regret.

I have to take this chance. 'Alex,' I say. 'Don't you regret killing yourself?'

'No,' he replies firmly. His finger tightens almost imperceptibly on the trigger. I know I should be calming myself down but it's too late to even think about that because I am now in a state of full-blown panic and there is no stopping it…

I run forward to him and move the gun to my head, because he's my brother, my little brother, and I would die for him-

_BANG. _The gun goes off, and everything goes dark, before I wake up in the simulation room.

Then it's over, and I can breathe.

**A/N: Hello, it's me and I'm back :D We arrived back in Scotland yesterday after our car broke down on the motorway. AARGH. The journey in total took twelve hours in the freaking car, not including stop offs. (Three and a half hours of those. I have a four year old brother and a six year old brother - Divergent, anyone? - and we need to get completely ready for them to get going before we start up again.) I have 34 A4 size pages of writing starting from the 2nd October (the day of the journey there). Three chapters have been scrapped, two of them were for Sherlock stories, some of this was for my planned-but-taking-ages-to-actually-write stories (Sherlock and Divergent) and some of it was my brothers scribbling all over my notes. (They like to do that) **

**Also, thank you SO MUCH to Adina2938, Guest (sorry I don't know your name) , blueraspberry-butterflies, Raven99Loc and ellie2297 for reviewing. Especially ellie2297 for giving me ideas for Eric's fears, they were really good! **

**I should probably shut up and update the next chapter, shouldn't I?**


	5. Amar: Underestimated

Fear landscapes are interesting. They give you an insight into the creeping fears that torment them, their worst secrets and more.

Some instructors bet on how many fears the initiates will have. The lowest number ever is eight, I think. She was Dauntless-born, of course.

I have twelve. A very good number. But to be quite honest, I'd rather jump into the chasm than face my fears again.

I know no one's going to beat eight fears. No one had beat twelve, Eric's fears. And I know that no one will, seeing as the Stiff is the only one left.

He's the last one here. I saw him cowering against the back wall every time someone was selected. I was kinder than most instructors would be. I decided to choose him last. He deserves privacy, facing his fears. God knows what they'll be.

Mia walks out of the room, exhausted. Everyone is probably exhausted by now. Cut your hand open with a knife, run onto a train without it stopping, jump onto a seven storeys up building, leap off said seven storeys up building, and stare down your worst fears in one day. It is pretty exhausting.

This year is the first year we're doing fear landscapes first. Max insisted on it, saying it would make an interesting change, and _of course_ the other leaders and instructors had to agree. I highly doubt that it would make a difference. Why would knowing your fears do anything except scare you? But I'm the youngest instructor on the team, who am I to protest?

I shake my head to clear my thoughts. I have a tendency to do that.

'Just you and me, Stiff. Come on, let's get this over with.'

We both look at the last syringe on the table. I have no idea what's going through his mind, but I'd give anything to know.

And to be honest, I just want to get this over with. Yes, I love simulations, but watching someone trained for a life of peace face their worst fears for the first time is not an experience I like.

I push the needle into his neck. He barely reacts.

I can't help thinking that despite the fact he's a Stiff, he looks strong. There's fear in his eyes, but he's tall and has his fists clenched with the manner of someone who wants to do well. His hand is still bleeding from the Choosing Ceremony - he's going to have one hell of a scar there.

He walks unsteadily into the room. Not under the serum yet. Stronger than many other initiates.

Almost as if hearing my thoughts, he straightens up and I'm surprised by the raw determination there before the serum pulls both of us under.

His first fear is heights. It's the tower we jumped off after the train. Now I understand why he looked so scared.

I wonder how he'll face his fear. Jump? Try to calm down?

He tries to back away. The building doesn't let him. It grows higher. The wind picks up, as does his heart rate. Then he takes a step forward.

I hear him very faintly: 'A Stiff pancake,' and know he's remembering the real ledge, the real jump.

He shakes out his hands, screams into his teeth. His heart rate peaks…

…and he drops, flying for half a minute or more before hitting the ground with a sickening sound of impact. He stands up, shaking out his hands again.

Suddenly something hits his back. A wall. Then another wall appears. And another, and one more. Then one on top, and he's in a box.

Oh, God, not another claustrophobic initiate. There are way too many of those here. Claustrophobia is so common it's the only fear that actually has a name. Tori told me that when she was in Erudite, they learned that there used to be a word for every fear, ending with phobia, a word in a language used thousands and thousands of years ago. But that language died out a very long time ago.

This isn't an ordinary box. It's a cupboard, an under-the-stairs cupboard. He sits in it, shocked into silence. His heart rate gradually picks up as his sharp intake of breath tells me he knows exactly where this cupboard is. He bites his lip. Blood springs up instantly, but he doesn't react at all. His shoulders shake slightly and I know he's trying not to cry.

Suddenly, his heart rate peaks again. He suddenly snaps. Slamming his hands against the wall, trying to force his way out. He hits the box hard, but it doesn't budge.

I hate watching him panic. It feels strange, seeing him so vulnerable. And besides, if he does this for each fear we're going to be here a very long time. My hand aches to press the button that forces the simulation to move on. But I don't. The simulation will move when it's ready. Instead, I call, 'Think it through, Stiff!'

He goes silent. Perhaps my using of the word 'Stiff' ruffled him, or maybe he's just figured that this is a simulation. I don't blame him for being terrified, but he needs to learn how to think in the midst of fear.

He bends down and the box moves with him until he can't straighten up. At first I think he's trying to face his fear, but then he picks up a crowbar from nowhere and, with a huge effort, forces the sides of the box apart.

Then a different room appears, with a woman. She is dressed in white, not from any faction, and looks about Tori's age. The Stiff is still taking deep breaths from the box. He moves uncertainly towards her. A table materialises with a gun and a bullet. By the look he gives it, he didn't make it himself.

'Who are you?' he asks uneasily. So he doesn't know her. She says nothing, staring at him with the brightest green eyes I've ever seen.

He catches on before I do, and picks up the gun. His heart rate spikes as he figures what he has to do.

Then I realise. He has to shoot the woman.

I watch him fumble with the bullet for a few seconds, before sliding it into the chamber. Then he presses the gun to the woman's head and her eyes fill with tears.

'I'm sorry,' he murmurs, and shoots.

The simulation takes a few moments to move on. In that time, his heart rate builds until it's as high as the roof in his first fear.

This is strange. Some initiates know their fears, but I wouldn't expect him to have much of an awareness of his own fears. He seems certain of what's coming next. But this is only the fourth fear. Why would he be so scared?

I see gray shoes pacing at the edge of the room. Abnegation?

Then someone steps into the centre of this strange, empty room. I recognise him as a monstrous version of Marcus Eaton, the government council representative.

Why is the Stiff scared of a council representative?

Then another Marcus comes, and another, until the whole circle is filled with them. Their mouths gaping, their heads at angles. This is enough to be scared of, but I know, somehow, that there's more to this fear than just these strange Marcuses.

The Stiff clenches his fists. Marcus slides his belt out, and I watch it turn into a barbed metal rope. The other Marcuses follow suit. All of them draw back their ropes. I watch him scream, cowering back. He falls to his knees and draws them up to his head as the belts hit him again and again and again. He screams again as the belts scrape him, blood springing up…

I hear echoing voices. Yelling, screaming, shouting, but not from him. The voices, coming from Marcus, overlap each other in a screaming frenzy. 'This is for your own good…I will not have self-indulgent behaviour in my house…I did not raise my son to be a liar…'

His son?

Then it clicks.

This is the Stiff's father.

I know, without really knowing, that this is not just a fear. It's a memory.

Suddenly the voices start to fade away. He straightens up. One by one the Marcuses fade away, until they disappear completely.

I brace myself for the next fear…

…but there isn't one. The simulation has ended.

_What? _Is there a glitch in the system? I tap the screen, but it only comes up with the message you get at the end: No more fears. Please terminate program.

I walk towards him. He tenses up, probably expecting another fear. I offer him my hand, then pull him up. He doesn't meet my eyes, and I know he's thinking of his father.

'That's all there is? God, Stiff,' I say. 'We should come up with another name for you. Something tougher than Stiff. Like Blade or Killer or something.' I'm careful to keep my voice casual.

He smiles wanly. I try not to look at him with too much pity.

'I wouldn't want to tell people my name either,' I say. At first, I didn't understand why he didn't want to give his name. But now I know. Who would want to be associated with Marcus Eaton after all that he's been through?

I smile, trying to cheer him up. 'Come on, let's get some food.'

**A/N: Oops, long chapter. It was supposed to be shorter, but it just kind of…happened. Fair warning: chapters may or may not get longer. Long enough that this length won't be completely abnormal. Also, the title refers to the fact that before he proved himself by having only four fears, Tobias was underestimated, just thought of to be a Stiff who won't survive initiation.**

**So I did manage to get in a double update! Woop! I'm halfway through typing the next chapter. My system is to write them in my notebook and then type them, because when the muse strikes I don't usually have access to a computer. **

**Anyway, what about reviewing? Tell me what you think? Pleeaase?**


	6. Zeke: Dare

'Amar, I dare you to go the Erudite library while all the Noses are studying and scream something obscene.'

We're playing Dare, in the middle of the night. Lauren is starting, with the already slightly drunk reasoning that she's the keeper of the alcohol. She's just dared Amar, and everyone is cheering loudly. If no one is drunk now, we all will be later.

I've never played Dare before, but everyone's heard about it. We all have to dare each other to do various, crazy things. The person who's been dared will either do their dare or die trying - I hope this is just one of Lauren's jokes - then dare the next person, who will do the same thing.

I look around and see the Abnegation transfer. Four, his name is? I know it isn't his real name. No one has a name like Four. I know it's because he has four fears. Which is absolutely amazing, completely unheard of by Dauntless standards. I wonder why he changed his name? I can't help thinking about it.  
'Hey, you're a transfer right? Four?' I wave him over.

'Yeah,' he replies, walking slowly towards us. Suddenly he smiles mischievously. 'Nice first jump,' he says. Then he suddenly looks worried. I don't know why, it's not like I'm going to take offence. I guess this sort of thing wouldn't happen in Abnegation.

I laugh, remembering. 'Yeah, not my finest moment.' I still get teased about it, but everyone in Dauntless gets teased for some reason or other.

Shauna speaks up. 'Not like anyone else stepped up. I'm Shauna, by the way. Is it true you only had four fears?'

'Hence the name,' Four says.

I want to ask him what his fears are. But something tells me that that isn't a very good idea. Maybe it's the look on his face.

'Wow. Guess you were born Dauntless.' Shauna sounds just as amazed as I am.

Four doesn't reply. I break the slightly awkward silence by asking, 'How are your fights going?' The Dauntless-borns and transfers train separately. Lauren says it's because we're stronger than they are. Either way, I wish I could see how Four fights. If he's as good at fighting as he is in the fear landscape, he'd be a scary opponent.

'All right…as you can clearly tell.' Like most initiates, he's cut up and bruised. His lip is split and there's some swelling below his eye.

'Check it out.' I show him my biggest bruise. From Shauna, of all people. 'That's thanks to this girl over here.'

'He beat me,' adds Shauna. 'But I got in a good shot for once. I keep losing.'

Four looks mildly confused. 'It doesn't bother you that he hit you?'

Now it's Shauna who's looking confused. 'Why would it?'

'I don't know,' he replies. 'Because…you're a girl?'

'What, you think I can't take it just like any other initiate, just because I have girl parts?' She gestures to her chest.

Four blinks and flushes slightly. 'Sorry. I didn't mean it that way. I'm just not used to this, any of it.'

Shauna smiles. 'Sure, I get it,' and she isn't angry. 'But you should know that about Dauntless - girl, guy, whatever, it doesn't matter here. What matters is what you've got in your gut.'

Then Amar gets up in a dramatic pose, and we all leap out. Four stumbles on the jump out and crashes into me, then apologises. Amar smiles.

'Look at you, getting your train legs.' He hands Four the flask. 'Here, have a sip. You look like you need it.'

Four takes a mouthful without hesitating. He grimaces at the taste.

Amar embraces me in typical Dauntless fashion. 'Good job. I see you've met my young friend Ezekiel.'

'Just because my mom calls me that doesn't mean you have to.' I throw him off and turn to Four. 'Amar's grandparents were friends with my parents.'

'Were?' He's picked up on my use of the past tense.

'Well, my dad's dead, and so are the grandparents,' I say.

'What about your parents?' Four asks Amar, who shrugs.

'Died when I was young. Train accident. Very sad.' He smiles, almost sadly. 'And my grandparents took the jump after I became an official member of Dauntless.' Amar makes a careening gesture with one hand, almost like a dive, and I know he doesn't want to explain further. Four looks confused.

'The jump?'

'Oh, don't tell him while I'm here. I don't want to see the look on his face,' I say.

Amar ignores me. 'Elderly Dauntless sometimes take a flying leap into the unknown of the chasm when they hit a certain age. It's that or be factionless. And my grandpa was really sick. Cancer. Grandma didn't care to go on without him…'

Amar looks up at the sky.

'I'm sorry,' Four murmurs. I know he didn't know about the jump. None of the other factions know. They probably think Dauntless are so brutal no one makes it to eighty.

'At least this way, I got to say my good-byes,' Amar murmurs. 'Most of the time, death just comes whether you've said goodbye or not.'

I see the moon and stars and so much more reflected in Amar's gaze. I know that under all the layers of charm and layers of bravado, there are secret buried layers, and they're cold and sad.

Then he blinks, and it's gone.

'What about you?' I ask Four. 'You have parents?' We watch Amar jog to catch up with the rest of the group.

'One,' Four replies. 'My mother died a long time ago.' His eyes glaze with memories. Then he shakes his head a little.

'And your dad, is he okay with your choice?' I ask. I've never even heard of an Abnegation-Dauntless transfer. 'Visiting Day is coming up, you know.'

'No.' When Four replies, his voice sounds distant. Far away.

We reach the Erudite sector and stop talking, although I really want to ask Four about his dad.

'Hey, Noses!' Amar runs into the lobby. 'Check this out!'

Of course, everyone looks up, because you can't not look when there's a Dauntless in a study zone. You can't miss Dauntless.

Amar pulls his pants down and gives all the Noses a good view of his butt. Four laughs, and that sets all of us off. We all fall over laughing, partly at Amar and partly at the expression of the Noses in the lobby. Some of them run towards us, surprised that there are more of us. But they can't catch us, at the speed we're running. Dauntless are the only faction who openly encourage competitive running. Maybe Amity do, but that's just for fun. Everyone knows the Noses would rather spend all day in with a book.

By the time we reach the alley we're all exhausted and out of breath, but laughing. Four runs at my shoulder, laughing hard. Amar reaches the alley a few seconds behind us, holding the flask like it's a trophy. He throws it to Shauna. 'Young one. I dare you to scale the sculpture in front of the Upper Levels building.'

She catches the flask easily and laughs breathlessly. 'You got it.'

**A/N: So, new chapter! What did you think? Thanks to anyone and everyone who has reviewed and faved and followed. Especially reviewed. Just one thing: there are a few people who have followed and faved but not reviewed. If you review without following, that is absolutely fine. But if you follow or fave without reviewing, it's essentially saying, 'I like this story and I'm expecting more, but I'm too lazy to give feedback.' I really, really hate it when people do that. Faves tell me you liked the story and follows tell me you want more. But reviews tell me exactly what you think of it. Moral of the story: if you follow or fave then please, please review as well.**

**Anyway, thanks if you did review. If you didn't, why not?! Reviews feed my plot bunnies: really cute, white, fluffy tailed fuzzy bunnies that run round my notebook. I doodle them in the margins. :D**


	7. Tori: Tattoos

I'm woken up by the doorbell ringing. The doorbell, and a _lot _of noise. Pounding footsteps that sound like drumbeats, and chattering that's louder than the Amity schoolchildren. Back when I was an Erudite, before I transferred to Dauntless, we always hated the Amity kids and their loud games. While we always preferred to stay in and read, the Amity would shout and yell and laugh, distracting us.

And this noise is _exactly _like it.

I'm still half-asleep while getting out of bed, and I picture various scenarios, none of them good, as to why there would be banging on my door at midnight. The last time I was woken up at midnight, it was because George was dead. Then I give myself a mental slap, knowing that if it was bad, they wouldn't sound this happy.

When I answer, I see a group of young Dauntless, Amar and Lauren at the head. Four is at the back with Zeke. I'm too sleepy to think much, but I'm happy that he's out doing something. From what Amar said, he was in the arena every morning and the fear landscape room every night. No wonder he looked exhausted.

'Well?' I ask. Everyone is looking at me expectantly. They all look very drunk, tired, grubby, and exhausted, but there's exhilaration in their eyes that can only come from doing something truly Dauntless. Like ziplining, but they wouldn't be here if it was ziplining. It's probably a game of Dare. Or hopefully, it's nothing. Who am I kidding? Of course it isn't nothing.

'Four's getting a tattoo,' Gabe explains. I raise my eyebrows. I'm so surprised I don't say anything for a few moments. Four? A tattoo? Has he forgotten his Abnegation roots so quickly? This is the complete opposite of what an Abnegation would do, even a former Abnegation.

Some of this must show on my face, because Amar gives me one of his typical easy, open smiles. 'Please?' he asks. 'It's for a game of Dare.'

I sigh and turn to Four. 'Are you sure you want a tired woman to tattoo your skin, Four?' I ask. 'This ink doesn't wash off.'

He looks me straight in the eye. 'I trust you,' he says. I know he's being honest. He comes from Abnegation, and from what I've heard, the Abnegation are thinkers. He must have thought about it on the way here.

'Right.' I try to stifle a yawn. I don't really think it works, though. 'The things I do for Dauntless tradition. I'll be right back, I'm going to put on pants.'

I change as fast as I can, acutely conscious of the fact that it's the middle of the night and there are a group of young, crazy Dauntless in there. I'm young too, but I'm not one of the mindlessly crazy Dauntless. Unlike most of them.

'If I get in trouble for turning on the lights at this hour, I'm going to claim it was vandals and _name names._' I don't want to get yelled at for turning the lights on, but I can't exactly do this in the dark. All power in the city is _supposed _to shut off after midnight to conserve energy. The trains sometimes run, and as far as I'm aware the leaders turn a blind eye to it. And from what Amar's told me, the Erudite rarely switch off half of the power, let alone all of it. It's very convenient when the Dauntless want to play pranks, but I know there's something going on there.

'Got it,' replies Four, smiling. I hope he takes me seriously.

'There's a back way. Come on,' I say. I lead them into the tattoo parlour round the back way. I can't get into it through the front because only Bud has the keys. He'd kill me if I woke him up now - Bud is even more cranky than I am in the mornings, and that's saying something. Despite the fact he likes to wake me up for early morning jogs - Bud is crazy in that department - he's not good in the morning.

Four stops at my coffee table. I don't think I've ever used it for coffee - it's covered in sketches, ideas for tattoos. I look over to see what's caught his interest. Maybe it's a tattoo that he wants?

_Damn it. _It's the drawing I was working on before I went to bed. I forgot to put it away, assuming no one would be in here. This is the worst possible drawing to leave out. It's my sketch of all the faction symbols - the eye for Erudite, the scales for Candor, the two hands for Abnegation. The Amity tree looks like it's growing over them, and the Dauntless flames are the biggest at the top. It's a great drawing, but also a very dangerous drawing. One that could mark me as a faction traitor.

I silently beg him to move on. He'll attract attention if he stays there, and attention is the last thing the drawing needs. _Move on, move on, move on…_

He looks around, sees everyone ahead of him, and jogs to catch up.

_Thank God._

I hear George's voice in my head. I know he's dead and never coming back, but I knew him - _know him _\- so well that I can imagine exactly what he'd say. _You were careless, Tori. You can't let it happen again._

_I won't, _I silently promise him. _I won't._

We all sit down, with me and Four in the middle.

'Basic principles of tattooing. The less cushion under the skin, or the bonier you are in a particular area, the more painful your tattoo,' I explain. The tattoos on my arms hurt, but much less than the one on my back. 'For your first one it's probably best to get it done on, I don't know, your arm, or your-'

'Your butt cheek,' Zeke cuts in, snorting with laughter.

I shrug. 'It wouldn't be the first time. Or the last.' Zeke's tattoo requests have been very interesting over the past couple of years.

Four looks at Gabe. I have a feeling it was Gabe who dared him. Gabe is just the sort of person who would do that. He raises his eyebrows, and Four looks at the wall. His gaze darts around for a few seconds, before settling on the Dauntless flames. 'That one,' he says, gesturing to it. It's a very artistic rendering of the flames. I drew it with Bud, while I was still learning how to draw tattoos.

'Got it. Got a location in mind?' I ask.

I have no idea what he's going to choose. Common sense tells me that he'd choose somewhere easily concealed, but where does common sense have anything to do with Dauntless?

He thinks for a moment, then rests his hand on his ribs. Amar looks at me, raising his eyebrows and smiling slightly.

'You sure?' I ask him, although I know what he's going to say. 'That's maybe the most painful place possible.'

'Good,' he says, sitting down. There's a slight edge to his voice.

'So we have a masochist in the chair tonight. Lovely,' I say. Everyone laughs. I start to cover his ribs in rubbing alcohol, then do his back to be sure. He winces. Rubbing alcohol only stings if you have a scar, but why would he have scars on his back? I pull at the skin gently.

'How did this happen, Four?' But I don't need to ask. Between Amar telling me about his fear landscape, and a bit of common sense, I know these marks were made with a belt.

Four bites his lip, and I know that he'd never admit it. Amar stares at him, frowning. I give him a pointed look. _Change the subject. Think of an explanation. I really don't care, as long as you think of something._

'He's an initiate. They're all cut and bruised at this point. You should see them all limping around together. It's sad,' says Amar.

Zeke, who hasn't picked up on the awkward silence, says, 'I have a giant one on my knee. It's the sickest blue colour.'

Everyone starts displaying their own scars, but Four, Amar and I can't join the conversation. I watch Four for a moment, and he locks eyes with me. We both know that I know it's not from initiation.

Then I turn on the needle, and Amar throws him the flask, and I start the tattoo.

**A/N: Hello again! My personal headcanon is that some people know more about Four and his past than he likes to think. Amar obviously knows, because he was the one who watched Four's simulations. I also think Tori knows. And for some strange reason, I like to think that Cara knows a lot too.**

**Here's a question: If you couldn't write or read for Divergent, what other fandom would you write for/read? I would either do Sherlock or The Hunger Games. What about you? Post it in the review section :)**


	8. Eric: Knowledge

'You look like hell,' I say to Tobias, by way of morning greeting. Tobias looks like he hasn't slept all night. There are dark shadows under his eyes, and he looks exhausted. I saw him, too. He stumbled in at three in the morning, fell asleep the second his head hit the pillow. I bet he's been busy.

I know he'd been invited for a game of Dare. Even I've heard about Dare. A true Dauntless game. I don't know why he was chosen by Amar. Out of all the transfers, everyone knows I'm the best. I am the only unbeaten one. Not counting Tobias, but he's just lucky. I won because of _skill, _Tobias won because his opponents were pathetic. I'm so much better than him.

But no matter. I've been busy too.

Last night, I went over to Erudite headquarters. I figured now would be the best time, while everyone's all drunk and out playing Dare. After a bit of persuasion, Jeanine told me everything I needed to know. I knew she'd help. Erudite know that knowledge is power, and I could do with a bit of that right now.

I learned everything. Tobias's parents, family tree, background information. And of course, his name. _Tobias Eaton. _Like I'm going to keep calling him Four after this.

The information was very, very interesting. His mother is factionless. Evelyn Johnson-Eaton. A former Erudite, of all places. Which would technically mean that Tobias is part Erudite. But faction before blood, he's just a Stiff. He'll always be a Stiff to me. I've talked to a few Erudite, and they remember her. Said that she transferred to the Stiffs, and became factionless a few years later. From what they say, there are a lot of people who think she's dead. And his father? Marcus Eaton. Let's just say that I have a lot of information I can use against him now…

I have to admit that I'm vaguely surprised about Tobias. His father is a government council representative. And he seems to be very, very cruel…

I search my brain for something snarky to say to Tobias. Then I suddenly remember that I'm fighting him today. _About time too. _I need an excuse to punch him in the face. 'I hope that when you lose, you don't use it as an excuse. Because I would've beat you anyway.' Why would Tobias think he has any hope against me?

This is going to be fun.

I get up, stretch, and leave the dormitory. Seven minutes and thirty-three seconds early, according to my watch, but who cares? I'll get in some valuable punching time.

I hit the bag, again and again, pretending it's Tobias's face. That would be nice. After a while, I give up and imagine my victory. If - _when, not if - _I beat him, I'll be the only unbeaten transfer. Maybe the only unbeaten initiate this year! If that doesn't make for a first-ranked initiate, nothing does. I really, really want to be first-ranked. A transfer, coming first…That'd give everyone a shock. It hasn't happened for a while. I've been asking around in that department, too. Dauntless-borns have been first for the past six years. I'd love to show everyone that Dauntless-borns aren't the only people who can come first.

Eventually Amar arrives, and the other initiates a few minutes later. I search for Tobias amongst the combined crowd of Dauntless-borns and transfers, but he isn't there. Where the hell is he?

Five, ten, fifteen minutes in the arena. Fights and fights and fights, Dauntless-born and transfers, and Tobias still doesn't arrive. What's going on?

Suddenly, the door bangs open. Tobias rushes into the room. His laces are untied, his short hair is sticking up, he's out of breath and he generally looks even more of a mess than he did when he woke up. I almost - _almost - _hope he was in a better condition. He's too easy to beat right now. But I hate him so much.

Amar raises his eyebrows and gives him a pointed look. I hope he's going to tell Tobias off. No such luck, however - Amar's always had a soft spot for Tobias. I hate thinking it's because of his four fears; in my mind it's probably because Tobias is a Stiff. Pitying him and all that. 'Nice of you to join us,' Amar says to him. 'Tie your shoes and don't waste any more of my time.'

As Tobias tightly knots his shoes and tucks the ends of the laces under, I give him my death glare and crack my knuckles.

I take a slightly Erudite approach, do what I did for my last opponents. Analysing targets, points that would hurt. He's holding himself a little awkwardly - the ribs would probably be a pressure point. And the face. No one is immune to a punch in the jaw.

We face off. As usual, I get the first hit and punch him hard in the face, right in the jaw. He stumbles back. Then I kick him in the ribs. He tries to move but it doesn't work.

'This is easier than I thought it would be,' I say. I knew it would be easy, but I haven't even been hit yet.

Suddenly he uppercuts me in the stomach. Pain spreads through my body and in my fury I hit him with my hand, aiming for his face but getting his ear. He winces, and falls, but pushes himself up again. I remember the way he wouldn't give Sean a break, refusing to stay down for more than a few seconds.

'You know, I think I've figured out your real name.' I haven't figured it out, Jeanine told me, but I had my suspicions already. I try for his face again, but get his collarbone instead. 'Should I tell them, _Eaton_? Get everything out in the open?' I say softly. I'm debating on whether or not to say it now, _Tobias Eaton, _when he punches me, and punches me again, and again, and again.

Too late, I realise that in contemplating whether to tell everyone his secrets, I've let my guard down.

I didn't know that it was possible to feel this much pain and still be conscious. There's so much pain that it seems a waste of time to make an inventory of it, especially as it's still flooding in.

All the different types of pain blur into one, and my thoughts spiral into blackness.

**A/N: Sorry for the shorter chapter :P I couldn't really think of much to say without making it seem like a filler chapter. Here's a fair warning: updates are going to slow down due to the great and terrible think known as school. To be more precise, I have exams. Mock exams, but they really matter. I skipped a year, so instead of going into year seven I went into year eight. That was a while ago, but I missed a whole year. Therefore I have a heck of a lot of revision to do. I'm still going to update this as fast as I can!**

**Here's a question: What's your OTP in Divergent? Mine is Tris/Tobias. Cliché but true… Leave your answer in a review, I'm interested to know what you think! **


	9. Shauna: Friendship

'Hey.' I knock on the stone wall, pretending it's a door. Four is sitting against the wall, hunched up with his head tipped back and his eyes closed. 'This is not quite the victory dance I was expecting,' I continue.

Four beat Eric. It's all over Dauntless by now - these things spread frighteningly fast. Everyone knows about it. But he barely seems to care.

It's strange. I lost all three fights, but I was so pleased to get a good hit in against Zeke. Four has become the only unbeaten initiate, transfers and Dauntless-borns, but he doesn't seem to know or acknowledge that.

How is he not happy?

I sit across from him, my back against the wall. It's a narrow corridor and our feet aren't very far apart. Why am I noticing that?

'Eric's in the hospital,' I say. 'They think you broke his nose. You definitely knocked out one of his teeth,' I add, trying to cheer him up.

Four winces and looks down, not meeting my eyes. He looks almost guilty. Maybe he didn't need to know that.

Okay. Now to do what I actually came here to do. I've been trying to psyche myself up to ask him, but it hasn't worked so far. 'I was…I was wondering if you could help me.' I nudge his shoe with my toe.

His head snaps up. 'Help you with what?'

'Fighting. I'm no good at it. I keep getting humiliated in the arena,' I admit. I shake my head. 'I have to face off with this girl in two days, her name's Ashley but she makes everyone call her Ash.' I can't help rolling my eyes. I refuse to call her Ash, instead going with Ashley. 'You know, Dauntless flames, ash, whatever. Anyway, she's one of the best people in our group.' She's only been beaten once. 'And I'm worried she's going to kill me. Like actually kill me.' I don't mention the fact that she hates me with a passion.

'Why do you want my help?' Four sounds suspicious. I feel a squeezing in my stomach. Maybe he isn't going to help me. 'Because you know I'm a Stiff and we're supposed to help people?'

'_What? _No, of course not. I want your help because you're the best in your group, obviously.'

Four laughs, almost derisively. 'No, I'm not.'

I roll my eyes. 'You and Eric were the only undefeated ones and you just beat him so yeah, you are. Listen, if you don't want to help me, all you have to do is-'

'I'll help,' he cuts in, then hesitates. 'I just don't really know how.'

'We'll figure it out,' I say. 'Tomorrow afternoon? Meet you in the arena?'

He nods, and I grin, get up, and start to leave. Zeke's waiting for me. Then I turn around, see him sitting in exactly the same position he was in before I came in. His knees drawn up to his shoulders, his arms round his legs, and his head tipped back. But his eyes are wide open.

'Quit sulking, Four,' I say. 'Everyone's impressed with you. Embrace it.'

Then I leave, and run to catch up with Zeke.

The next morning, at breakfast, Zeke waves Four over to our table. I'm too tired to take part in the conversation. I'm fine just listening.

Zeke is yawning too. Four, despite his late night yesterday, is bright and alert. Or at least as bright as I've seen him.

'So that's my little brother, Uriah. He's a right pain in the backside, but he's all right really,' says Zeke. Four cranes his head to follow Zeke's gesture.

'Who's the one with him? Do you know her?' Four asks.

'That's Lynn, Shauna's little sister. And her best friend Marlene.'  
I don't know why Lynn and Marlene are such good friends. Lynn's so grumpy and Marlene's so cheerful. But they get on well enough, and I suppose that's all that really matters.

'And there's Hector, Shauna's younger brother. We call him Hec.'

'Does your mother live here?' asks Four curiously.

'Yep. She's called Hana. Over there, in the breakfast line,' Zeke says, gesturing. There's a faint tinkle of glass as Zeke knocks over a mug in his effort to point out Hana. '_Damn. _Oh well, I'll get that in a minute.'

'Do you miss living at home?' Four asks. 'Not really. I mean, they're right there. Dauntless-born initiates aren't really supposed to talk to family until Visiting Day, but I know if I really needed something, they'd be there.'

I let the talking lull me into something like sleep. The next thing I know, my chin has slipped off my elbow and I've smashed my muffin with my face_. Good wake-up call, but not one I needed right now. _I watch as Zeke cries with laughter, and for the first time I see Four break into a smile.

In the afternoon, I walk over to the arena. Four isn't there yet, so I start punching the bag as hard as I can. Which, judging by what Ashley says, isn't that hard.

It could be minutes or hours later that I finally see him in the doorway, watching me. I jump, feeling like I've had an electric shock. It's quite unsettling to see Four standing there. 'Rule number one for not being creepy. Announce your presence in a room if another person doesn't see you come in,' I say, only half joking.

'Sorry,' he replies apologetically. 'I was coming up with some pointers for you.'

'What are they?' I ask.

Four explains how I stand with my knees locked, and I don't have a hand up to protect my jaw. I also punch from my elbow, but I'd get a better punch if I put my body weight behind it.

We begin by squaring off. After a half hour of training, I'm moving better than before. He keeps having to remind me to protect my jaw, and to dodge punches instead of just taking them. 'This girl you have to fight tomorrow. A good uppercut should do it. Let's practise those.'

We face off yet again. I aim a punch at him, pulling back so I don't hurt him. He blocks it, then starts to go for my jaw, stopping at the last moment. _Damn, _I left a hole in my guard _again. _

I straighten up. 'You know, maybe I would learn my lesson if you actually hit me,' I say.

'I would really rather not,' he replies. His expression is unreadable.

'What you think is some kind of lingering Abnegation chivalry is really kind of insulting. I can take care of myself. I can take a little pain,' I say. I almost want him to hit me. How else am I supposed to learn?

'It's not that,' he says. 'It's not because you're a girl. I just…I'm not really into violence for no reason.'

I'm a little confused. 'Some kind of Stiff thing, huh?'

'Not really,' Four answers. 'Stiffs aren't into violence, period. Put a Stiff into Dauntless and they just let themselves get punched a lot.' He smiles, and I do too. That's exactly the sort of thing a Dauntless would say. 'It just doesn't feel like a game to me, that's all,' he continues.

I see the almost haunted look in his eyes, and search my mind for a change of subject. Nothing comes, so I just say, 'All right, let's go again.'

We keep going for ages. It takes me a while to master the uppercut, but I get there eventually. When we leave, I thank him and wrap an arm round him. I laugh at how tense it makes him. He probably didn't get hugged in Abnegation a lot. 'How to be Dauntless - An Introductory Course. It's okay to hug your friends here,' I say.

'We're friends?' he says.

I laugh. 'Oh, shut up.'

I wake up feeling both excited and terrified. Peering at Ashley's bed, I see she's still asleep. There's a squeezing feeling in my stomach but I try to put it down to hunger rather than dread. Who am I kidding? I know I'm dreading this, even though I know what to do. I know _exactly _what to do, which is a big change from two days ago.

I ignore the small voice in my head that tells me knowing how to fight and actually fighting are two different things.

I eat my breakfast as fast as I can, and then run to the arena. I remember Four's pointers. _Don't get too arrogant, but remember that you can win this. Concentrate on fighting, not talking. _His voice sounds in my head.

After a while, I zone out, rhythmically punching the bag. I jump a little when I turn around and see the arena crowded with initiates ready to fight. Ashley is in the middle of the group, cracking her knuckles threateningly. The arena's emptier, but not by much. Four already mentioned that the transfers, because there are less of them, have finished their first phase of initiation. It's taking us longer to get to the second phase.

'Shauna and Ash,' calls Lauren. Her voice sounds far away, like I'm underwater. There's a ringing sound, and I wonder why no one acknowledges it until I realise it's in my ears.

We face off, shuffling around each other for a few seconds. I remember Four again. _Get in the first hit. _An uppercut to her jaw. Exactly like the one Four showed me, but I'm not pulling back on this one. She stumbles back, holding her face. I know that she isn't nearly beaten yet. But it's thrown her off her game enough for me to get a good hit into her collarbone.

Ashley aims for my jaw. Too late, I realise that there was a hole in my guard. I try to twist away, but she hits my eye instead. I feel a sensation like touching a livewire, spreading through my face. I suddenly think that I'm going to lose again, I'm going to finish initiation without winning any fights at all.

Suddenly the adrenaline kicks in and I feel a rush through my body. My eye would hurt, and I know it will later, but right now I'm too focused on Ashley to think. Each move, practised thousands of times with Four. I can almost see him guiding me through each step, hit and kick. Another uppercut, aiming for her jaw but getting her nose. Blood blossoms there, spilling out from beneath her fingers. Then a final punch, throwing my full body weight behind the hit, and she's down. I step back, allowing her space to get up.

I won.

I can't wait to tell Four.

**A/N: Hello! Me again :) What did you think of this chapter? I really like Shauna, and this was really interesting to write. The chapter got its name because of the growing friendship (completely platonic, of course) between Shauna and Four. My other fave character is Amar, if I haven't mentioned that a few million times before :) It's strange, I didn't think that there were so many other people here who liked Amar. None of my friends are fangirls for anything, unlike me :D**

**Also, check out my profile page: there's a poll on my page where you can vote for your 3 fave characters. I'd be really interested to know who you like!**

**EDIT: Thanks so much for boekenworm for noticing the mistake in the first sentence. You're awesome :)**


	10. Amar: Simulation

The simulations are today. The second phase of training, primarily focused on emotional preparation.

I wonder how the initiates are going to cope with this?

As a promising candidate for first-ranked initiate, he's going first. All the initiates lined up outside the simulation room look worried, except for Four. I can't help wondering why. He can't know anything about the simulation.

'Four,' I call. He walks towards me, his expression unreadable. Eric gives him a dirty look, but he doesn't seem to notice. I shut the door silently behind him.

Four looks at the computer, running the program of the simulation. 'A simulation?' he asks. Are all Stiffs this perceptive?

'The less you know, the better,' I reply. I don't really know why, but it's what Lauren told me when she administered my test. The look she gave me told me that I shouldn't ask questions. 'Sit down.'

He does as he's told, climbing into the big reclined chair. I jab the needle into his neck without warning, and he flinches slightly.

'Let's see which of your four fears come up first,' I say. 'You know, I'm getting kind of bored of them. You might try to show me something new.' I smile.

He smiles a little. 'I'll work on it.'

Four is sitting on a wooden bench next to a kitchen table; an empty plate in front of him. The shades are drawn. Judging by the sparse furniture, this is an Abnegation house.

He lifts his head and starts slightly as Marcus materialises in front of him. But this is just the ordinary Marcus, the one I remember from the Choosing Ceremony rather than the one from Four's simulations. Maybe this is some kind of different fear.

Four looks around. He's wearing Dauntless black, heavily contrasting with Marcus's plain gray clothes. I wonder if he's confused, or scared, or perhaps something else. But he doesn't look either of them.

Then the light flickers, and Marcus turns into the man in Four's fear landscape, a monster with pits for eyes and a huge, gaping, empty mouth. He lunges across the table, and I see the glint of razor blades in his fingertips.

Four sprints into another room. A living room. Someone has sealed the door with some kind of blocks. I think they're cinder blocks - only the Abnegation and Amity use them. Either way, he's trapped. Four dodges another Marcus reaching for him from the wall, and takes the stairs two and three at a time. He trips on the last one and sprawls out on the floor, breathing heavily. A Marcus leaps out of the closet, another one walking threateningly from the bedroom. Five or six more crowd into the hallway, cornering Four. They press him to the wall, dragging their fingers down his face. More of them appear so he's staring at a huge, shining mass of blades. Their fingers clutch at his legs and another Marcus digs his hands into Four's throat.

_Calm down, _I think. _Calm down. You won't get out of the simulation otherwise. Come on…_

Suddenly, as if hearing me, Four twists upwards. A door materialises. He opens it and falls into a closet with a window. The window shatters as he throws his shoulder against it. As the Marcuses rip open the closet door with their bare hands and stream into it, he leans out of the window. Seven stories up. I didn't know it was possible to face more than one fear in a simulation, but he must be terrified. Four takes a deep breath and falls.

The simulation ends.

He sits up in the chair, gasping. I check my watch. Five minutes? That can't be right. Suddenly, with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, I remember what Lauren told me, two years ago. After I'd faced my simulation and escaped it within minutes. _Simulation awareness helps you to get out of the simulations. But it's also dangerous. You have to hide it. _

I don't want to scare Four, or to get him worrying about it when it may be nothing.

'What?' he asks breathlessly. I've been staring at him for too long.

'You were in there for five minutes,' I reply.

He frowns. 'Is that long?'

'No. No, it's not long at all. It's very good, actually.' He puts his feet on the floor, and his head in his hands. 'Is the serum still in effect? Making me panic?' he asks, clenching his teeth so hard they squeak. We're both still hooked up to the monitor. I watch his heart rate spike again and again.

'No, it should have gone dormant when you exited the simulation. Why?' I watch him shake out his hands and instantly feel stupid. 'Sometimes the simulation causes lingering panic, depending on what you see in it.' I'm really not surprised he's still panicking. I know I would be. 'Let me walk you back to the dormitory.'

He shakes his head. 'No, I'll be fine.' It's so unconvincing it's almost funny, if it wasn't for the still worried look in his eyes.

'It wasn't a request.' Hopefully by the time I get back, a more realistic time will have elapsed for the simulations, so no one will be suspicious. I open the back door and we walk down the hall. Four seems unusually jumpy, twitching at every sound. I stop him and put my hands on his shoulders, noticing that he's almost as tall as I am.

'Hey,' I say. 'Get it together, Four.'

He nods and flushes slightly.

'Can I ask you something?' I say. He winces; maybe he thinks I'm going to ask him about Marcus. I'm not that tactless. 'How did you get out of that hallway?'

'I opened a door,' he says.

'Was there a door behind you the whole time? Is there one in your old house?' I already know the answer. The door looked exactly like the one leading to the simulation room. It would have had to be deeply engraved in his mind for the door to look like it did.

As I suspected, he shakes his head.

'So you created one out of nowhere?'

'Yeah. Simulations are all in your head. So my head made a door so I could get out. All I had to do was concentrate.' He says it like it's simple, like it's obvious. And there is some logic in that statement.

'Strange,' I can't help saying.

'What, why?' He sounds worried. Does Four know about simulation awareness?

'Most initiates can't make something impossible happen in the simulations, because unlike in the fear landscape, they don't recognise that they are in a simulation. And they don't get out of simulations that fast, as a result.'

I pause, thinking. Lauren said simulation awareness is one of the most dangerous things to have. Is it so dangerous that I shouldn't tell him? But he should know.

'I was like you,' I say softly. 'I could change the simulations. I just thought I was the only one.'

He opens his mouth, as if he's about to say something, but no words come out.

'It's probably not something you should brag about,' I say quickly. If it is as bad as Lauren said, I don't want him getting into trouble. 'The Dauntless are all about conformity, just like every other faction. It's just not as obvious here.'

He nods. 'It's probably just a fluke,' he says slowly, but I'm not convinced even he believes it. 'I couldn't do that during my aptitude test.' _Well, of course you couldn't, the aptitude test is specially designed so you can't change it. _'Next time I'll probably be more normal.'

I can't help hoping that there's more people like me. Lauren said I was the only one she'd ever seen, but I know, for some reason, that there are more people like me somewhere. I know I need to stop looking, because it's dangerous, and will get me into trouble, but I want to know I'm not the only one.

'Right,' I say. 'Well, next time, try not to do anything impossible, all right? Just face your fear in a way that would always make sense to you, whether you were aware or not.'

'Okay,' he replies.

Suddenly I remember the other initiates waiting to be tested. The ones who don't know this is just a simulations, the ones who will be safe. 'You're okay now, right? You can get back to the dorm on your own?'

He nods again. I clap him on the shoulder, and walk the other way, back to the simulation room, listening to the quiet echo of my footsteps.

When I look back, he's still standing there.

I jerk forward in the chair, pulled out of the simulation mid-fall. My heart is racing, my fists clenched.

_So much for an _evaluation. _Calm down. _The first thing I see is the Erudite, Jeanine and her lackeys. Just after dinner, they called Four and me in for an _evaluation, _saying that his simulation results were a little abnormal. I regret telling him about simulation awareness. How else would they have found out?

Four did well. He was in there for eight minutes. On the way to the simulation room, I tried to communicate to him that he should be careful. Use his simulation awareness to his advantage, but face his fear in a normal way.

I wish I could have taken my own advice.

The simulation I faced was one exactly like my simulations as an initiate. I was hanging above a waterfall, held up by only a thin rope. All I could do was watch as the rope frayed, then snapped… There was nothing I could do - when I was an initiate, I had tried to scramble up the rope, but it had only frayed faster.

As I fell, plummeting towards the roaring water, a net appeared not too far below me. I know that I created it, and it will save me, but too late I remembered that I was being watched, and not by Lauren or another initiation instructor.

Someone must have hit a button, because I jerked back to reality before I could hit the net.

I'm still hooked up to the monitor. I watch it, see my heart rate spike again and again. Gritting my teeth, I put my head in my hands and try to calm down. But I keep remembering the waterfall, the image of it forcing itself into my mind until I can't think straight.

I silently disconnect the machine, scowling at the Erudite. I want to punch Jeanine in the face. She has no right to be here. No right to look into the deepest parts of me.

I drag my arm over my eyes, wishing that they weren't watching me. I would give anything for privacy right now.

'Do you know how long you were in there?' asks Jeanine smoothly.

I scowl. 'How the hell would I know?'

'Four minutes, thirty six seconds. We seem to have detected an anomaly in your results.'

'Yeah. And?' I snap. I'm not usually like this, but the simulation does strange things to everyone.

'Put simply, the anomaly is simulation awareness.' Jeanine says. Her voice is as mild as ever. 'They call it Divergent. It makes you very, very dangerous. And as a result, to avoid being a threat to our system, you must be…_eliminated.'_

I never knew you could _feel _words, like a punch to the gut. But I can feel these ones. Although Jeanine says this with no inflection, they force their way into my mind, bouncing around.

And besides, as if I didn't have enough to worry about. The raw panic of the fear simulation combined with the threat to my life means that I can't think at all.

I roll my eyes. 'What could _you _do to _me?'_

Jeanine smiles. 'We got your George, why not you?'

_Oh, God_.

'Right. Anomaly, Divergent, elimination, all fine. Can I go now?' My voice shakes slightly, but I'm slightly pleased at how casual I sound.

'Don't think we're done with you yet, _Amar,' _Jeanine says threateningly. I roll my eyes again and swing my legs over the side of the chair, then walk out. The effect is, again, ruined by my unsteady legs, but I slam the door behind me as hard as I can.

On the way to my room, I can't walk normally, as if nothing's happened. As if my death hasn't been guaranteed.

So I run, elbowing people aside, sprinting like there's no tomorrow - maybe there won't be, for me - ignoring the mixed looks of curiosity and anger directed at me.

But when I open my apartment door, slam it and lock it, it only makes the pain worse. This is the room I shared with Georgie, before he died. Before they killed him. Before the _Erudite _murdered him, just because he was aware in the simulations.

For a while, I pace around the room, throwing things at the wall as hard as I can, watching them break, snap, fall to the ground. Still internally screaming, still panicking. Georgie. Divergent. Erudite. Eliminated…

It's still fairly early in the evening, less than half an hour after dinner. But I pull the pillow over my head, and try to sleep.

**A/N: Hi! Sorry this took a while to update. Blame it on the great and terrible thing known as school. I've got exam week starting on the 17th this month, so I'm quite busy revising. I only write fanfiction in my spare time, and I don't have much of that right now. **

**Guess who the next chapter's going to be? (I don't actually know yet, just that it won't be Amar) One last thing: please, please review? It means everything to me :)**


	11. Zeke: Death

Another normal day in Dauntless. Life has settled into a fairly predictable pattern. It's just simulation training, meals and free time. I spend my time with Four and Shauna. We're all very different. I'm cheerful, optimistic, and I love playing pranks on people. Shauna's generally cheery, except in the mornings, and would rather watch a prank than play a prank.

But Four is an entirely different matter. He comes from Abnegation, so you'd expect him to be like a Stiff. But he isn't. Four is incredibly brave, only four fears, and often serious and pessimistic. He likes to think about things before doing them, the complete opposite of me. He's amazing at his fights; he won every single one. But the weirdest thing by far is that he goes through his fear landscape _every day. _I thought that was brave originally, but the amount of times he's done it is just completely masochistic.

When I was looking for Four one evening, I asked Amar where he was. Amar told me he was in the fear landscape room. The next day, he'd disappeared again. Tori gave me the same answer - fear landscape room. And the next night was the same scenario. The night after that, confronted with the same answer, I now assume he's in his fear landscape every evening. I'm not in his dormitory - Dauntless-borns and transfers sleep separately, but I know he gets into bed very late - I see him walking down the corridors late at night, hoping no one will notice.

He gets up really early as well, always first one into the arena by miles. Looking exhausted but warmed up by the time we get there. But that's no different to any other time; he's always exhausted. Even though Shauna's the one that falls asleep on the table at breakfast.

We're all so different, but we get on so well. Since I invited Four to our table, he sits with us all the time. He'll spend much more time with us than with the rest of the transfers. Sometimes we'll train for fights together.

But there's no training for the simulations. No way to prepare for them. Lauren says it's all about emotional training, not physical training. We have Amar for the simulations, rather than Lauren, but she told us about them. I suppose it shouldn't make much of a difference, but it's still strange. Lauren is more about getting things done in a methodical, strategic way, whereas Amar, with his open, easy smiles, would rather we do them well than at all.

I sit down with Shauna and Four, as usual, at the breakfast table. Four has dark shadows around his eyes, and he looks tense and exhausted. I think it's the simulations; he's never been like this before. Or maybe it was that _evaluation. _I don't know the meaning of the word, but Lauren explained it to me. Some sort of test. A week ago, some Noses came into the Dauntless compound, and asked to evaluate Four and Amar. Something to do with simulation results? I wasn't paying attention, I never pay attention to anything that ever goes on. I know Amar was worried, and Four was very worried, but that's all I saw. For the first time, I regret not watching closer.

Amar's been a little less jokey and funny since, but it seems to have affected Four just as much, if not much more. 'You okay?' I ask him. 'You look…exhausted.'

'I'm fine,' says Four tersely, even though he obviously isn't.

'Oh, clearly,' I can't help smiling. 'It's okay not to be okay, you know.'

'Yeah, right,' he replies. Although he's smiling a little, I can tell he could do with some help. As we walk to the Pit, I try to come up with some good ideas to amuse him, but I keep drawing a blank. I've already taken him to a lot of interesting places in the Pit, including one almost behind the chasm that I discovered a week ago. _That's it, _I'll ask someone. Shauna, or Uriah…They would know what to do. Well, I hope they will.

_Amar. _That's it, I'll ask Amar what to do. He'll know. I'm already picturing his expression when Uriah runs up to us. There's a look on his face that I've never seen before. He usually looks like he's just about to make a joke, but not now. 'Amar,' he says, completely breathless. 'I'm looking for him. Have you seen him anywhere?' I ask him. He shakes his head. 'Amar is…' _What is it about Amar? I'm going to see him in a few minutes_. I suddenly feel worried. Uriah begins again. 'Amar is dead.'

_What? _

Four laughs incredulously, derisively. 'What do you mean, he's dead?' I can tell that he doesn't believe Uriah. He thinks this is just one of his little jokes. After all, it's just the sort of thing Uriah would joke about. But, for some strange reason, I don't doubt it. Uriah wouldn't joke about this, he knows what's funny and what isn't. And the expression on his face, the crowds in the Pit, it all adds up to one thing…

'A Dauntless woman found a body on the ground near the Pire early this morning. They just identified it. It was Amar. He must have…'

'Jumped?' I say. There's a death in the chasm once a year. Or more, sometimes.

'Or fell, no one knows.'

I look at Four. There's a look of shock, horror and something else in his face. I barely have time to register it, let alone decipher it, when he spins around and starts running towards the Pire. I watch him push his way through the crowd, something completely uncharacteristic - Four never pushes anyone - until I can't see him anymore.

I don't see him again for hours.

**A/N: AARGH, THE FEELS D: I've been putting off this chapter for a while because I really, really like Amar (just pretend I haven't said that a thousand times before!) Sorry this was a bit short, but I can't think of anything else to put in this…**

…**except for the disclaimer! I haven't mentioned this for ages, but I don't own Divergent *cries* This goes for all the chapters, because I **_**know **_**I'm not going to remember again for a while.**

**I'm also thinking about doing a 30-day OTP challenge for Divergent, what do you think? I could do with some prompts, though…**

**Please review! I love getting feedback from readers, it means everything :)**


	12. Tori: Memories

I can't believe Amar's dead.

It was so out of the blue. He was full of life, radiating health and happiness. And then he wasn't.

I'm missing him already.

The funeral is a happy affair. Laughing, joking, shouting. Drinking, celebrating, generally having a great time. But I can't enjoy it; it's too much like George's. Everyone looks so happy, clustered by the chasm. Like someone hasn't jumped into it less than six hours ago.

But George was different. He was Divergent, and now he's dead. Amar can't have been Divergent; he would have said something about it.

Wouldn't he?

I heard Max talking to Four. _We encourage our members to choose their own paths through life. If this is what he chose, so much the better._

I walk away from the chasm. I can't be near it right now; it forces images of Amar and George that are too painful to think of right now. I thought I'd got over George's death. But it suddenly occurs to me that maybe I haven't. Maybe it's always there, coiled up like a spring, waiting to pounce.

'Hi, Tori!' It's only when Bud's voice forces me out of my daze that I realise I'm in the tattoo parlor. The place where I feel safest, surrounded by drawings. Bud is smiling at me like he always does. I try to smile back, but it comes out more of a pained grimace. His easy, open smile is too much like Amar's.

Bud's voice becomes softer, more concerned. 'I heard about Amar.' _Well, of course you did. Who hasn't by now?_ News travels frighteningly fast in Dauntless. 'You must be upset,' he says.

'It reminds me of Georgie,' I say honestly, because it's the only thing I can think of right now. 'So out of nowhere.'

'Shouldn't you be at the funeral?' he asks.

I react too quickly; 'Shouldn't you?' I retort, then backtrack instantly, seeing the haunted look in his eyes. Maybe he's been through this before. Maybe he's lost someone too. 'I'm sorry, I didn't think.'

'It's okay,' Bud says softly. 'It's not your shift until tomorrow. Do you want to go? You look tired, and we won't be very busy here. Not while…'

'No, it's fine. I'm fine.' I pull up a piece of paper and start sketching. It starts off as an attempt at a tattoo, but my mind isn't on it. I almost stand up and leave, but I can't face the happy Dauntless next to the chasm.

So I start a new drawing. But this time, I enter the stage where my thoughts bypass my mind and go straight to my arm, drawing without really thinking about it. A jawbone, neckline, sticking-up hair. Looser lines, completely unlike the tight defined strokes you need for tattoos.

As I draw, I think of Amar and George.

When I transferred from Erudite, I never thought George would follow me a few years later. I was so surprised to see him there. But maybe I always suspected it, just never thought about it. Two years after George became a member - ranked second - he met Amar, a Dauntless-born initiate raring to be a member. They made friends instantly. Amar became a member, and shared a room with George, who was all too eager for that to happen. I felt like an outsider, but I know that they were so good for each other.

My mind starts racing through events that I thought were buried under layers and layers of my mind.

The Choosing Ceremony, when I transferred to Dauntless… I was a perfect Erudite, smart and sure of myself. But I knew that Dauntless was the place for me. I didn't tell anyone about my choice.

_'Tori?' It's Georgie again. 'Mom said I wasn't supposed to disturb you, because you were thinking about tomorrow. But I wanted to come in.' I sigh. I wasn't thinking about tomorrow, the Choosing Ceremony, at all. But I don't think it matters what I was thinking about. _

_'Yeah, come in. I'm not really…never mind, just come in and hurry up before Mom sees.'_

_'Tori? Can I ask you a question?' Georgie settles next to me on my bed, shifting piles of books and papers out of the way, then puts his head on my shoulder like he used to when we were little. With a jolt, I realise that he's almost as tall as I am, despite being a few years younger. _

_'Was that it?' I'm not in a joking mood. But it's really all I can do, my thoughts muddling up like they are right now._

_'No…' His voice trails off. I put my hand on top of his; another childhood gesture. 'Tori, are you going to choose Erudite?' _

_I sigh. I can't lie to him. I don't think I'm going to choose Erudite, but telling him I am and then transferring would…I don't want to think of how disappointed he'd be. Equally, I know Dauntless is best for me, but I don't want to tell him that. So instead I say the only thing I can think of, the only honest thing there is to say. 'I don't know, Georgie,' I say honestly. 'I don't know.'_

It's only when my hands are shaking that Bud taps my shoulder. 'Go to bed, Tori. You're exhausted.' Then he pauses and looks over at the paper. 'Tori, that's amazing.'

It's Amar and Georgie.

I've drawn them standing together. Amar is taller than George, despite being two years younger, but they're standing with their arms round each other, laughing. They were such good friends. Amar was devastated when George died. My stomach twists at the thought.

My second sketch is another one of Amar and Georgie, but it's different. Amar is sitting down on a chair, his hand gripping the armrest. George is standing behind him, his hand on top of Amar's. But it's not what makes my fists clench, my hands shake.

It's their expressions. Amar's expression is one that I've only seen on him once. He's trying to stay calm, but his face is full of raw panic. George is looking calm, soothing - maybe he's comforting Amar - but he's worried as well.

I shake my head. Why am I reading so much into a simple drawing? They're both dead, and I'm not going to see them again, and I may as well accept it. 'Right, I'd…better get…going,' I say quickly. All I want to do right now is scream, or shout, or cry_. It isn't fair_… I stand up and start clearing the table. Bud stops me with an outstretched hand.

'It's fine, Tori. I'll do it.' I know he's as haunted by the drawing as I am. I can see it in his face.

I nod and leave to go to my room, my thoughts racing. I can't stop thinking of the picture, still clenched in my hand. Georgie's calm, soothing face, Amar's haunted one.

I climb into bed, feeling exhausted and sad. _Amar's with Georgie now. _I try to console myself. _They're good and safe. You don't have to worry about them anymore. _

Closing my eyes, I only wish I could believe it.

**A/N: Aargh, Amar feels AGAIN. Why must Amar appear everywhere? This wasn't how I'd planned it, but it just kind of happened :P **

**Okay, some answers to reviews here. If you've reviewed before, keep going, it's amazing! If you haven't, read on anyway, you may see something of interest. To who said (a while ago)** _**I think that Natalie would be an interesting point of view**_**, that's coming soon. I thought you meant just before Tris comes to Dauntless, but now I realised you may (or may not) have meant her life on the outside. (Potential spoilers for Allegiant, so I'm not going into detail!) **

**ZimrahMeansMusic, I'll be doing Caleb and Peter soon. (Before initiation starts, so stay tuned) :)**

**blueraspberry-butterflies: Poll results won't be up for a while because only a few people have voted so far (Three, as far as I know) but Amar and Tobias are joint in the lead right now (yay!). And also to blueraspberry-butterflies, you've been a source of inspiration because I am now attempting a Jeanine chapter. (Keyword: **_**attempting. **_**Bear that in mind…)**

**brwatson, I'm also trying Andrew's chapters. I've wanted to see one of his pov at school, but it never really occurred to me that I could write one!**

**To anyone else, please review with feedback, suggestions etc. If you have an account, please vote on the poll on my page (Who's your 3 fave Divergent characters?) I'm halfway through the next chapter, so that'll be up really soon! Thanks so much for all the support! :)**


	13. Amar: Escape

All I do is run.

Natalie told me that I would need to keep going, push through the pain, don't stop - no matter what. For a Stiff, she sounded very Dauntless. She was the one who helped me escape, get out before they killed me.

Her voice echoes in my ears, surprisingly low and strong. _If you stop, you die. Don't forget that._

I see a city ahead of me, completely different to the one I left. Full of roads and buildings, but everything collapsed and empty-looking. A concrete bridge - _who builds a bridge out of concrete? - _and buildings made of stone and brick and wood. And some tracks, clean and smooth.

_Don't stop. Come on, Amar._

The bullet wound in my shoulder is throbbing - waves and waves of endless, agonizing pain. I don't know exactly when I got shot, sometime in my escape, but it's becoming fairly evident now.

I start following the tracks. There's no evidence that they lead to anything, but what other option do I have? Where else can they go?

_Adapt. _One of my catchphrases, a long time ago. Adapt to things you couldn't survive, adapt to circumstances impossible to pull through. Adapt to be faster, better, stronger than you are now, because that's always possible.

My thought jumble together in a tangled mess. _Keep going run faster adapt don't stop don't slow down keep running…_ After a while, only one thought is discernible. _Run._

As I start to slow down, the buildings start to get larger. Natalie warned me that the first time was always the hardest. I couldn't steal a truck or a car, and I wouldn't know what to do even if I had one, so I'd have to make the journey on foot, something that very few people have managed.

The buildings are large enough to distinguish between, but the people are still only the size of ants. I estimate at least another mile, and want to scream out loud. Instead, I sink to the ground, too tired to continue, and let my thoughts race.

My first thought is of Tori. I can visualise her worried eyes, the hawk tattoo on her neck, symbolising the sun, everything in perfect detail. I remember her stance, and the way she would stand with her fists clenched, and the look she would give me whenever I said something she didn't like…

Like anything about Georgie.

The thought sends a fresh surge of pain through my body. Georgie. He died a long time ago, after jumping into the chasm. Everyone says it was suicide. He jumped into the chasm on the last day of initiation. But something tells me Tori doesn't think so.

I met him in initiation. Everyone knew he was Tori's little brother. But we weren't friends just because I knew Tori as well. I sat next to him on the train and we both jumped off together. Since then, there's always been a special connection between us. Something that I can't name, something perhaps a little more than just friendship.

And Four. It was my idea to give him that name. I remember him in the fear landscape, right at the start. I thought he would do badly; all Stiffs would. But _four fears _is phenomenal, almost scary. Very scary, given his fears. Killing the woman, and Marcus Eaton. I know, from watching simulations, that Marcus haunts Four's dreams and, worse, his sub-consciousness. Sometimes his fears blur together, Marcus in a small space, violence on top of a skyscraper.

He's explosive, obsessive, insecure. Perhaps a little crazy. But Four is one heck of a strong character, and I hope that he'll continue to be.

I don't notice that I've got up and started running until I struggle for breath, noticing that everything is suddenly a lot closer. Half a mile away, perhaps. Less.

I see a truck in the distance, one big enough for at least fifteen people to fit inside it. Suddenly it speeds up towards me. I watch it get bigger and bigger, trying not to feel intimidated. I know I should hide, but the driver has already seen me, and besides, there's nowhere to hide. The truck stops a few hundred feet away from me, and a woman jumps out, walking towards me. She stops a few feet away from me, looking at the bullet wound on my shoulder with concern. She says something, but the sound doesn't reach my ears. She picks up a strange device, a black box with buttons, and talks into it, sounding worried. It emits a crackling sound that she seems to understand, because she puts the box down.

I finally recognise her words. 'What happened to you?'

'Shot,' I mumble. 'Escaping. Factions.' I can barely form coherent words.

'What, the experiment? In Chicago? Never mind. Do you have anyone meeting you?' I barely manage to shake my head; the motion sends shooting pain through my whole body. 'Okay. Come on, into the truck.'

The next thing I register is waking up to a strange, white room. White bed, white sheets, white walls, white ceiling. The sign on the wall reads _Infirmary. _I sit up suddenly, feeling irrationally panicked. A young woman walks over and sits down on the bed. 'Hi, I'm Zoe.' I recognise her as the woman who helped me into the truck.

There's a stabbing pain in my shoulder, and I can hardly feel my leg, but I'm not as tired, cold and hungry as I was before. 'You're probably wondering what to make of all this.'

I nod. 'Where are we? Is this a faction?' My voice is rough, crackling.

'No. This place is the Bureau of Genetic Welfare…' Her voice trails off. 'I probably shouldn't be telling you this right now. It's a lot to take in, especially when you're in your current state.' She waves a hand over my leg. 'You broke your knee and dislocated your ankle; we can't work out exactly how you managed to do both to the same leg.'

'No, tell me,' I get out. 'Please.'

'This place used to be called O'Hare Airport. Now it's an agency of the States government.' At my confused look, Zoe says, 'An airport is a hub for air travel. You saw an aeroplane on the way here.'

'I don't think I was fully conscious then,' I answer, racking my brain for some memory.

'Well, it's like a bird big enough for seventy or more people. You have to fly it, like you have to drive a truck. I'll explain it later. Anyway. Centuries ago, there had been studies saying violence could be linked to someone's genes. They called it the murder gene. After a while, they found genes linked to cowardice, dishonesty, all the things that contribute to a broken society. So although there had been peace and prosperity for years, they decided to try manipulating genes.'

I watch Zoe's expression change. 'People were chosen in huge numbers and given the option to _change humanity for the better._ It took several generations for the genetic change to manifest. But by that time, it was too late. Too late to change the fact that these were damaged genes, not corrected ones. Think about it; you'll see what I'm saying.'

I find myself understanding perfectly; each of the factions demonstrates this. The Candor, honest but inconsiderate. The Dauntless, brave but cruel. The Erudite, intelligent but vain. The Abnegation, selfless but stifling. The Amity, peaceful but passive.

'This manipulation made humanity worse than it ever had been before. It started a war; the Purity War. The genetically damaged against the genetically pure. It caused the worst damage humanity had ever seen in millenniums; half the country was obliterated. After the war, people wanted a solution. And we're in it. The Bureau of Genetic Welfare. We want equality between genetically damaged and pure. And more importantly, we wanted humanity to return to its pure state.'

I think I understand where this is going.

'So they told genetically damaged people to come out and get their genes healed. Then the Bureau put them in special environments to sit back, wait for time to pass, and thrive in their communities. Each generation would produce more genetically pure; you know them as the Divergent.'

'But Jeanine says we're a threat to society,' I say, remembering that day, the first day of simulations. When I had to go through the fear simulation… I shake my head to clear the memories.

'No. Jeanine Matthews is completely wrong. She-' The black box I saw earlier starts buzzing. Zoe puts it to her ear, seemingly understanding the buzzing it's emitting. 'Yeah, okay.' She puts it back in her pocket. 'Amar? There's someone who wants to see you.'

I frown. Who would want to see me? I don't know anyone here.

'Did you ever know anyone called George Wu? Georgie Wu?'

Why is she bringing up his name? 'Yes, he died a long time ago. Years ago.'

'You died too,' points out Zoe. 'But your death was faked.'

Half a minute later, Zoe is still watching me expectantly. I can almost feel the wheels in my brain whizzing rapidly. Suddenly the penny drops. I sit up so fast that the room spins crazily. I shake my head, having no patience for anything right now. '_Oh, my God.' _

'He wants to see you,' Zoe repeats. 'Shall I bring him in?' I nod eagerly. 'May be a while.' She leaves the room.

What's happening back in Dauntless? They think I'm dead, that I jumped into the chasm. Does Tori know I'm not dead? I don't know whether I want her to or not. It's for the best, but it's going to hurt her so much.

Georgie's death changed her so much. She used to be bold, funny, outspoken, but now she's quiet, withdrawn… I don't want to hurt her, but I know I did.

And my funeral. What was that like? I'm sure they've had it already; I've been here for a day, stuck in the infirmary. Most people will just come to celebrate, or for the free drinks. But what about Four and Tori?

The door creaks, and I open my eyes. There's a young man standing just a few feet away from me. Dark angular eyes, black hair, an achingly familiar smile…

'I didn't think I'd be seeing you here,' he smiles, and just like that, Georgie is back in my life.

I open my mouth, but I can't say anything. The gravity of the situation I'm in is just starting to overwhelm me, so I just laugh helplessly. He grins, and sits on the side of the bed. 'What happened to you? How did your escape go?'

I grimace. 'Got shot in the shoulder, broke my knee and dislocated my ankle. It's just the sort of thing you would do.' Georgie has always been clumsy.

His grin widens. 'Better than mine. I got shot too, but then I got turned around. Took me two days to actually find this place. So…how are you?'

I shake my head. 'You know what, I don't even know anymore.'

'I take it Zoe told you about the factions?' I nod. Georgie smiles again. 'It'll be okay. You know that, right? It'll be okay.'

'It's so good to have you back,' I say. 'I never really thought I'd see you again.'

He laughs and wraps his arms around me, squeezing tightly. It sends a jolt of pain through my leg, but I don't care. Bringing my arms up to return the hug, a sense of happiness overwhelms me. The seconds stretch out between us, turning into minutes, and still we don't release each other.

I smile into his shoulder. I'm with Georgie now.

For now, that's all that matters.

**A/N: Some fluffy fluff because I just read The Fault in Our Stars and also because why not? I kind of needed to write something sweet and I love happy endings. Especially happy endings with Amar…**

**And also, I've been writing too much heavy stuff :P I found a written draft of this at the bottom of my schoolbag, meant to be published a while ago, but hey, it's my favourite chapter to write so far :) I'm already writing another Amar chapter. If in doubt, write fanfiction!**

**Can't believe I've got 50 reviews! Thank you so, so much for all the support :D :D**


	14. Eric: Rankings

I wake up with a buzzing feeling inside me. It's bubbling up, ready to boil over at any moment. Pacing around only intensifies it.

I can't tell if it's good or bad.

The final exam is today; our fear landscapes. I saw my fears a few weeks ago, but it feels like years, lifetimes ago. I'm a stronger person than I ever have been; both physically and mentally.

And a lot more knowledgeable.

The things I've found since the beginning of initiation. I know a lot of people who would have done anything to know what I know. Jeanine told me that in coming here I would find out a lot of interesting things, but I would never have even dreamed _this. _

It was Amar's funeral yesterday. People were in varying degrees of grief. Most were flat out drunk; happy drunk, not roaring for a fight drunk like my dad used to be. I close my eyes, trying to block out the flood of memories that are rushing through my mind.

But there were people who weren't so happy. Tobias, for one. I bet his Stiff family didn't have anything even close to this. The thought of the Stiffs having a Dauntless funeral makes me want to laugh out loud.

The best thing by far, though, is something completely different.

I caused it. I set off all this.

I was the one who sneaked off to see what Tobias and Amar were doing. I really just went to the bathroom, but on my way back I heard them and went to see what happened. The conversation I heard was very, very interesting. And going by all the information I've collected over the past few weeks, that's really saying something.

I reported it to Jeanine after my simulation. She was incredibly pleased. 'This is what people like you are for, Eric,' she said. I still remember the warm glow of pride spreading through my body. Everyone knows that there are some transfers who don't pass initiation, which really defeats the purpose of strategically being placed in different factions.

Jeanine was the one who administered my aptitude test. She told me that I should choose Dauntless, but keep reporting back to her. Anything suspicious, out of the ordinary, would have to get back to her. And in return, she'd make me a Dauntless leader.

And now, here I am, ready for my final exam, knowing that I'll be a Dauntless leader soon.

Jeanine and two other Erudite called Tobias and Amar in for an evaluation. I wonder what went on in there. I'll always wonder, because Jeanine doesn't seem to show any signs of telling me what happened. All I know is that a week later, Amar jumped into the chasm.

She did tell me, however, about being Divergent.

'Right, everyone!' Lauren breaks into my thoughts. 'Fear landscape time!'

Zeke walks with Tobias and Shauna. It's almost a shame - if Zeke wasn't friends with Tobias and Shauna, I might have befriended him. But Shauna's a sissy, and don't get me started on Tobias.

'Who do you think's going to be ranked first?' Zeke says behind me.

'Four, no question.'

_It'll be me, _I want to scream. Tobias is a Stiff who doesn't have the courage to tell anyone his real name. He's not going to be first ranked initiate. Whereas I, on the other hand, have the second-lowest amount of fears in the class, have won all my fights but one, and have the second-lowest simulation time.

I ignore the little voice in my head that says I'm more likely to be second.

'Hey, Four,' Shauna says. I try to tune her voice out, but there's nothing else to listen to. 'Did you know that the last fears in your landscape are the worst?' The effect on Tobias is instantaneous. He doesn't stop walking, but he stiffens and frowns.

'No, I didn't know that.'

'What's your worst fear?' asks Zeke. Four snaps his mouth shut and doesn't reply.

I'm racking my brain for something to say when Lauren shouts, 'Quiet! You have all been through your fear landscapes before, at the beginning of initiation. As some of you may know, fear landscapes will change over time. You will overcome fears and gain new ones. You are all stronger than you were when you started out here, but don't be surprised if you have different fears.'

'Right. Who wants to go first?' Tori calls. I expect Four to volunteer, but he stays silent. A Dauntless-born that I barely recognise steps up. Tori nods.

The exams go too slow and too fast. I ache to move on, but some instinct makes me hang back. Tobias goes in the middle. I almost envy him; only four fears. Then I mentally slap myself. _Stop envying a Stiff. _

It takes two minutes, and he's done. There are awed murmurs round the room as he goes to the dormitory, where we've been told to wait. He looks over at the group of leaders and instructors at the front of the room. Tori gives him a thumbs up, and I feel the familiar pinch of jealousy. Why do they like him so much?

I'm the last initiate to go. My fear landscape is the same as it was when I started. Ignoring the stab of disappointment and the hope that I overcame some of my fears, I will the fears into submission. They will not control me, not today. Deep breathing, again and again, until I reach Alex. I watch him for a moment, wishing I could talk to him. Instead, I dive at him, snatch the gun out of his hands, and end the fear landscape. I breathe a sigh of relief. The leaders are nodding approvingly.

The dormitory is _packed. _I didn't realise the Dauntless-borns had to come here as well, but there's barely breathing room, let alone room to move. I stand in the doorway, entertaining thoughts of me being first. 'Time to get our results,' I say. Everyone gets up and walks out past me. Some look nervous, others don't. Tobias stays on the edge of his bed until everyone else has gone. He crosses his arms and looks at me. I notice his eyes are dark blue, not black as I first thought. 'Got something to say?' I ask.

'I know it was you,' he says. 'Who told the Erudite about Amar. _I know.'_

My first sensation is shock. How does he know? Who told him? Then I feel anger, coursing through my body. How dare he accuse me? A few seconds later, I'm worried. If this gets out…

Then I realise.

_He has no proof._

'You don't know what you're talking about,' I say, although we both know that's not true.

'You're the reason he's dead,' Tobias says angry. _I know, _I want to say. Instead, I smirk, unable to resist the opportunity to irritate him.

'Did you get hit in the head during your exam, _Stiff?' _I place special emphasis on the last word, knowing that I will never forget his origins. 'You're not making any sense.'

Suddenly he shoves me, hard, against the door, and holds me there with one arm.

'I know it was you,' he says quietly. 'You're the reason he's dead, and you won't get away with it.'

Then he releases me, and walks away.

Everyone's nervous. No matter how much they try to hide it, every single initiate is silently worrying right now. The dining hall is packed with older Dauntless, and the almost claustrophobic air isn't helping matters.

I watch Zeke shake out his hands, Shauna accidently knock over a glass. Tobias steals a roll from Zeke, who pretends he doesn't notice. The noise is ear-splitting. Most initiates stay silent because it's easier than yelling over the noise. I can't shake the smug feeling that I'm the only one not nervous.

I see Max get up onto a table and hold his hands up. Most of the crowd fall silent, but you can't silence all the Dauntless.

'A few weeks ago,' Max begins, 'a group of scrawny, scared initiates gave their blood to the coals. To be honest, I didn't think any of them would make it through the first day,' he pauses for laughter and it comes readily, 'but I'm pleased to announce that this year, all of the initiates attained the required scores necessary to become Dauntless!'

Everyone cheers and I instinctively cover my ears, trying to block out the roaring, thrumming noise that somehow reminds me of the chasm.

'No more delays,' says Max. 'I know our initiates are jumping out of their skins. So here are our twelve… new… _Dauntless members!' _He shouts the last words, and the names appear on a screen behind him that instantly sets my mind whirring. There isn't a visible projector, so how does it work?

Shaking my head to clear my mind, I look confidently up at the first slot.

1\. Four

2\. Eric

Second. To a Stiff.

There's a yell from behind me. Shauna and Zeke leap on top of Tobias, and he returns the hug, laughing. People crowd around him, hugging him, cheering his name, laughing, congratulating him. No one says anything to me. No one congratulates me on being second. Everyone is focused on Tobias, the Stiff who is too scared to reveal his name.

I am Dauntless, a full member of Dauntless, a good candidate for leadership. It's all I ever wanted.

But I still want so much more.

**A/N: Hi! I am giggling like an idiot right now. 41 reviews! (At the time of writing this) I remember less than three months ago, I had a notification telling me there were 2 reviews on my story, and I started giggling like a maniac. (I still do that.) But it's now at 41! Thank you, everyone who's ever reviewed. It's you guys that keep me going :) **

**So, what do you think of Eric's chapter? Please review! Reviews feed my plot bunnies and also keep me going :D **

**Disclaimer: I don't claim dis. (giggles at own joke) Updates will follow, stay tuned! No idea whatsoever who it's going to be next… Feel free to guess :)**


	15. Max: Recruits

I knock on the small, black door. 'Come in,' a voice calls from inside. Four. I walk into the apartment, seeing gray clothes folded up neatly on his bed. I can't help shooting them a disgusted look.

Four looks at me reproachfully, but I don't feel guilty for criticising Stiff clothes in a Dauntless place. 'Hello,' he says uncertainly. He's probably wondering what I'm doing in his apartment.

'Sorry to interrupt,' I say, although I'm not sorry at all. I look around the room. No other beds, no signs of anyone else living here. 'I'm surprised you didn't choose to room with your fellow former initiates.' Suddenly I'm slightly worried. 'You did make some friends, didn't you?'

'Yeah,' he says. 'This just feels more normal.'

I sigh. He needs to get rid of old habits, let go of his old faction faster. 'I guess it'll take you some time to let go of your old faction.' I skim the counter with my fingertip, collecting a ball of dust. I know he's only just moved in, but this place could definitely do with a clean-up. 'This afternoon you'll pick your job. Did you have anything in mind?'

He frowns. 'I guess it depends on what's available.' I want to laugh. First ranked initiate, talking like that? All the other first-ranked initiates I've talked to have been sure of themselves, almost arrogantly so. 'I'd like to do something with teaching. Like what Amar did, maybe.'

'I think the first-ranked initiate can do a little better than initiation instructor, don't you? I came because an opportunity has opened up.' I pull a chair out and sit on it. If he already has that in mind, this will be harder than I thought; now I have to dissuade him from going that way. 'To be honest, one of my fellow leaders of Dauntless is getting a little old for the job. The remaining four of us think it would be a good idea to get some new blood into leadership. New ideas for new Dauntless members and initiation, specifically. That task is usually given to the youngest leader anyway, so it's a good fit. We were thinking of drawing from the more recent initiate classes for a training program to see if anyone is a good candidate. You're a natural choice.'

Everyone wanted Eric for leadership, even Jeanine. I still think she's prejudiced, that she favours Eric because he was an Erudite. Either way, I still think Four would make a better leader. He's a lot more likeable than Eric, although neither of them are particularly sweet, and he's less brutal. He was first ranked_; above _Eric. If he wasn't a Stiff, and if he wasn't so explosive, I think that he could be one heck of a strong leader. That's what we need. And that's what I want to prove.

Four winces, and I wonder what's going through his mind. I remember the conversation that we had a few days ago, at Amar's funeral. I know it wasn't the place, but there was nowhere else to do it.

_You all right, Four?' _

_'Yeah,' he replies._

_'I know Amar took a particular interest in you. I think he saw strong potential,' I say. I see strong potential, even though he's a Stiff. _

_'I didn't…I didn't really know him,' Four answers vaguely._

_'He was always a little troubled, a little unbalanced. Not like the rest of the initiates in his class.' I remember that where the other Dauntless-born initiates were friendly, funny and carefree, Amar was often a loner, preferring to punch a bag in the training room than to go out with friends. Georgie was the only friend he had._

_That's it; maybe he took an interest in Four because they were just like each other. 'I think losing his grandparents really took a toll on him. Or maybe the problem was deeper. I don't know… It could be that he's better off this way.'_

_'Better off _dead?_' Four scowls at me. _

_'That's not exactly what I meant. But here in Dauntless, we encourage our members to choose their own paths through life. If this is what he chose, so much the better.'_

_I put my hand on his shoulder, hoping to comfort him. 'Depending on how you do in your final examination, you and I should talk about the future you'd like to have in Dauntless.'_

_He looks at me, confused, and I continue. 'You're by far our most promising initiate, despite your background.'_

_I know a lot more about his background than he thinks._

_Four still looks confused, saying nothing. I'm about to tell him, 'We want you as a Dauntless leader,' but I see Zeke coming and walk away into the crowd like nothing passed between us. I don't want anyone suspecting anything, especially before anything is confirmed._

'The training program will last at least a year.' Mine lasted a year and a half. 'It will be rigorous, and it will test your skills in a lot of areas. We both know you'll do just fine in the fear landscape portion.'

He nods absently, and I smile. 'You don't need to go to the job selection meeting later today. Training will start very soon; tomorrow morning, in fact.'

'Wait,' he says slowly. 'I…I don't have a choice?' I'm puzzled. 'Of course you have a choice. I just assumed someone like you would rather train to be a leader than spend all day standing around a fence with a gun on his shoulder or lecturing initiates about good fighting technique. But if I was wrong…' I trail off, knowing that if anything will make him want to prove himself, it will be this.

He hesitates, then shakes his head. 'No, you weren't wrong. I want to do it. Thank you.'

'Excellent,' I say, feeling pleased. I get up and shake his hand, noting absently that Four really doesn't like shaking hands. Maybe it's a Stiff thing.

The next thing I do is go to Jeanine. 'I think we have another candidate for leadership…'

**A/N: Hello again! Sorry about the lack of updates; we had exam week. I've just got my results - A* and A all round! So now I have more time to write fanfiction. Thank you for everyone who's reviewed and faved and followed, it really keeps me going :) **

**Okay, now for some numbers. I've been doing some calculations, and I've worked out this: I have 1 review for every 422.73 words that I write, 1 fave for every 1729.3636 words that I write, and one follow for every 1119 words! There's also an update every 4.64285714286 days on average, which happens to be 401142.85714310396 seconds! I was so bored I worked this out with a pen and paper in the middle of a Chemistry lesson…**

**ToastCookies, the poll is on my profile page, right at the top. To anyone else that wants to know, Amar is way in the lead…**

**Please review! Thanks so much for reading :)**


	16. Shauna: Frustration

'Right, everyone!' Max's call silences everyone in the room; all the former initiates. 'I've explained the jobs. I'll take you out in groups of two, in ranking order, and you have to tell me what job you want, and a good reason as to why you wanted it. Then we'll see what's available.'

There are more jobs than I thought possible. Initiation instructor, control room, computer technician, out by the fence. Chasm maintenance, cleaner, infirmary worker…

I already know what I want to do. Although being out by the fence isn't the most exciting the most thing in the world, it's being _outside, _for the _whole day, _and that's more than I could have wished for. It's just what I want to do. I love being outside, I love patrolling, I'm very observant, and that's what I tell Max when he calls me in.

'Luckily for you, no one else wants to do patrolling so far. I'll see what I can do about that.'

'Max? Where's Four?' I ask. I've been wondering what job Four wants. He seems like the perfect initiation instructor, but then he mentioned in passing that he loves computers. And now he isn't here. Did he forget? He can't have forgotten.

All the way through the meeting I wait on edge for Four to race into the room, out of breath, apologising frantically for being late. But all through the agonisingly slow two hours, he doesn't arrive. Max only tells me, 'You can ask him later. I'm sure he'll have lots to tell you,' and smiles cryptically. I inwardly groan.

When I see Four at dinner in the dining hall, sitting alone, my instinctive response is to sprint over to him and drag him over to our table, where Zeke, Lynn, Marlene and Uriah are sitting, eating and chatting.

'Dude, you missed it!' Zeke barely waits for Four to sit down before he bursts out. 'The only jobs left by the end were the gross jobs like scrubbing toilets! Where _were _you?'

Four doesn't look fazed. 'It's okay,' he says calmly. 'I didn't miss anything. Max came to see me earlier. He says one of their leaders is getting a bit old for the job, so he wants me to go through a year-long training program, and at the end, I may qualify to be one of the Dauntless leaders.'

He tells us a bit more about the training program. I can't help noticing that he doesn't make it sound as interesting as I know it will be. Maybe he's trying to avoid making anyone jealous. I don't know why he bothers; it's not like we're going to be jealous of him. Four worked so hard in initiation. He's a Dauntless legend. I grin like an idiot, feeling pleased for him.

I turn to Zeke, smiling. 'I guess we should have tried harder during initiation, huh?'

Zeke catches on. 'Or killed him before he could take his final test.'

'Or both,' I add. 'Congrats, Four. You deserve it.'

He flushes, and hurriedly changes the subject. 'Where did you guys end up?' But I notice the pleased expression on his face.

'I'm in the patrol leadership track…thing,' I say, not knowing what else to call it. 'Not the most exciting job ever, but at least I'll get to be _outside.'_ Max told me that it's mostly trooping around outside, and I need to learn how to drive a truck, but I love the outside.

Lynn scowls and says sourly, 'Yeah, let's hear you say that in the dead of winter when you're trudging through a foot of snow and ice.' I don't bother telling her that I love snow and ice. She stabs her food with her fork. 'I'd better do well in initiation…I don't want to get stuck at the fence.' She hates being outside almost as much as I love it. I'm still trying to change that.

Uriah sighs. 'Didn't we talk about this? Don't say the 'I' word until at most two weeks before it happens.'

Four looks pointedly at his plate, heaped with food. 'Stuffing yourself up to the eyeballs with food, though, that's fine?' he asks. Uriah rolls his eyes and keeps eating. Four pokes his food, pushing it round his plate without actually eating it. Zeke looks up, spots someone on the other side of the room, and says, 'I'll be right back.'

He crosses the room and goes to some other Dauntless girls, saying something that makes them giggle. Zeke jabs one of them good-naturedly in the ribs, making them laugh even more.

Four rolls his eyes and stares at his food, his gaze becoming unfocused. I can't help staring at them, feeling somewhat jealous of those girls. I vaguely recognise them from last year's initiation. Zeke is such a flirt, but I don't think he'll ever realise that I'm right under his nose, and I like him. A lot.

I miss my mouth with my fork, smearing food all over my cheek. Lynn snorts; she's a grump, but so intuitive she probably knows exactly what I'm thinking. Marlene audibly kicks her under the table, and I can't help smiling.

The silence stretches out between us as Four scowls at his plate, stabbing it with his fork, I inwardly curse Zeke, and Lynn and Marlene search for something to say. Marlene eventually speaks up. 'So,' she says to Four. 'Do you know of anyone else who's doing that leadership program, Four?'

As Four comes out of his daze, I break in, suddenly remembering. 'Come to think of it, I didn't see Eric there today either. I was hoping he tripped and fell into the chasm, but…' I watch four to see if he laughs, but he just looks at his hands and avoids my eyes.

I see Zeke walk over to us, and think, _Got dumped by his girlfriends. _But of course it's not that; he's still grinning like an idiot, his face flushed. 'Four. What are you doing tonight?' I recognise that look. Zeke is, in his roundabout way, asking Four a favour.

'I don't know,' says Four vaguely, sounding exhausted. 'Nothing?'

'Not anymore,' Zeke says. 'You're coming with me on a date.'

Four chokes on his potato, as he tries to talk, and ends up coughing and spluttering. I slap him on the back. '_What?' _he gets out eventually.

Uriah grins. 'Um, hate to tell you, big brother, but you're supposed to go on dates alone, not bring a friend.'

'It's a double date, _obviously,'_ Zeke says, like we were supposed to know that. 'I asked Maria out, and she said something about finding a date for her friend Nicole, and I…indicated that you would be interested.' I watch the shock on Four's face turn into horror.

Lynn cranes her neck. 'Which one's Nicole?' she asks, with some amusement.

'The redhead,' Zeke says, gesturing. 'So, eight o'clock. You're in. I'm not even asking.'

'I don't…' Four begins. 'Zeke, I've never…' This is the first time I've heard him sound genuinely worried. He's the sort of person that covers up worry with anger, but not this time.

Of course Four hasn't ever dated anyone. He was a Stiff. I feel a surge of anger towards Zeke that dies within seconds. No matter how hard I try, I can't really be angry at Zeke. I still resent him for finding a date for himself and Four. Like I don't matter.

I crane my neck like Lynn did, and see Nicole. Red-headed, fair-skinned, lots of freckles, very wide eyes. I see Four looking worriedly at her. Uriah frowns and pokes him. Four slaps his arm hard, giving him a death glare. _'What?' _

Uriah just grins. Not even Four's death scowl fazes him. 'Oh, nothing,' he says happily. 'You were just sounding _Stiffer _than usual, so I thought I would check.'

Marlene cuts him off with a laugh, drowning out whatever Four was going to say next. 'Yeah, right,' she says.

Zeke, Four and I exchange looks. We all know about Four's origins. I don't know how Uriah has figured it out, because we rarely mention it, and I'm not sure about Lynn. She hasn't ever brought it up. Marlene, somehow, hasn't the faintest idea. She isn't observant at all.

Zeke just grins. 'It's not a big deal, Four. You'll go, you'll talk to her like she's a normal human being, which she is, and maybe she'll let you…_gasp…hold her hand.' _

Suddenly I stand up, ignoring the screeching protest my chair makes against the stone floor, and take my tray to the returns. I can't listen to this anymore. Lynn, ever the loyal sister, gets up and follows me.

When will he stop looking for dates so far away when there's one right under his nose?

When I walk to the training room, taking the long way round through the Pit, the first thing I see is Four, sitting alone. I check my watch; five past eight. _The date night should be well in progress, _I think sourly. But there's no one with him.

Four waves to me, and I walk over. 'Isn't tonight your big date night with _Ezekiel?_' I ask. I only call him that when I'm about to explode.

'_Ezekiel,' _Four repeats. 'I forgot that was his whole name. Yeah, my date just stormed off.'

I can't help it; I burst out laughing. 'Good one. What'd you last, ten minutes?' I know that he didn't last that long; it's barely five past eight.

'Five,' he replies. He frowns, and I wonder if he's upset. Then he bursts out laughing. 'Apparently I'm insensitive.'

Now that's something I can believe. 'No,' I say in mock disbelief. 'You? But you're so sentimental and sweet?' We both know that Four is anything but sentimental and sweet.

'Funny,' he says. 'Where's Lynn?'

'She started arguing with Hector, our little brother. And I've been listening to them do that for, oh…' I pretend to count up days on my fingers, 'my whole life. So I left. I thought I'd go to the training room, get some exercise in.' What I mean is, I want to vent my frustration on a punch bag before I really do explode. On a spur of the moment decision, I ask, 'Want to go?'

'Yeah…' There's a brief silence as Four stands up. 'Let's go.'

We walk down a hallway in the Pit, our footsteps echoing. Suddenly Four stops, and puts out a hand to stop me too, but it's too late. I've already seen them. Two people, a boy and girl, sitting in an alcove. Barely concealed. Their bodies pressed together, arms and legs entwined, tangled up.

It's Zeke and his date.

I feel like I've been punched in the stomach. Getting beaten up by Ashley during training pales in comparison. I know exactly what Lynn would do if she was in this situation; march over and confront them. I know what Hec would do; walk away and think nothing of it. But I'm not Lynn and I'm not Hec, and I don't know what to do.

I'm rooted to the spot for seconds, each one an eternity, before I spin round, something snapping inside me, and jog down the hallway, the other direction.

'Shauna-' Four jogs up to me, looking concerned. There's understanding in his eyes, but it isn't enough.

'Training room,' I snap. I know I shouldn't be taking this out on Four. He's done nothing. Thankfully, he doesn't say anything; instead he runs with me, down the halls, the paths carved into the Dauntless compound. Halfway there, I speed up so much that I trip and twist my ankle. Four pulls me to my feet, but I don't feel anything. I run even faster after that, willing the pain in my ankle to blot out the pain in my heart.

When we arrive, I slam open the door to the training room and instantly start on the punchbag.

I don't think I've ever hit anything so hard before.

**A/N: Thank goodness, it's done :) I wrote this a couple of days ago, but I haven't had a chance to type it up. I did this all in one go and my hands are aching! If you haven't already, please vote on the poll at the top of my profile page. Just select your three fave characters out of Tris, Tobias, Christina, Amar, Caleb, Peter, Eric, Al, Will, Uriah, Cara or Marcus. I don't know why I put Marcus on the list…! **

**Here's an interesting fact; Marcus is actually a very, very important character. If he'd been a perfect father, Tobias would've chosen Abnegation, because he didn't need to get away. And if Tobias had chosen Abnegation, but Tris had chosen Dauntless, where would the story have gone? (Any theories, people? Leave it in a review!)**

**Please review, they mean so much to me…I still giggle like a maniac when I find I've got reviews :)**


	17. Eric: Computers

'I think everyone is here, so let's get started.' Max closes the conference room door. The way he looks in this ordinary environment is so strange, like he wants to cause chaos and break things instead of lead a meeting. 'You're all here because you've displayed enthusiasm for our faction and its future. Our city is changing faster than ever before, and in order to keep with it we'll have to change too.'

That's what Jeanine said to me. I'm sure she had some input in this speech. Max continues speaking as I watch Four, wondering what he's thinking right now.

'We'll have to become stronger, braver, better than we are now. And among you are the people who can get us there, but we'll have to figure out who they are. We'll be doing a combination of instructions and skills tests for the next several months, to teach you what you need to know if you make it through the program, but also to see how quickly you learn.'

That sounds more Erudite than Dauntless. Maybe Jeanine had more input in this than I thought.

'The first thing you'll do is fill out this info sheet.' Some Dauntless around me are smiling. It's amusing to see a Dauntless fighter brandishing pens and paper. 'All these will do is tell us more about you and give us a starting point by which to measure your progress. So it's in your best interests to be honest, and not to make yourself sound better than you are.'

I start filling out my sheet. Name, age, faction of origin, number of fears, what those fears are. I watch Tobias wince and scribble _physical threats in confined spaces, _knowing that's far from true.

After that, there's a list of statements, cryptically worded, that I'm supposed to agree or disagree with. _Power should be given only to those who earn it. Difficult circumstances form stronger people. You don't know how strong a person is until they're tested. It's okay to steal if it's to help someone else. _On and on, for a whole page. Some people look puzzled, confused. Tobias looks almost disturbed, and I wonder what's wrong with him.

I circle _disagree _for most of them and hand my paper back with everyone else's.

The next meeting is barely a day later, early in the morning. The sun is still rising, and I'm barely awake; hardly anyone is. I've already taken a freezing cold shower to wake myself up, but it did nothing. Tobias is the only one that looks properly alert. Well, of course he is.

I can guarantee that this meeting is going to be boring, not worth waking myself up for. Lauren is, as well as an initiation instructor, a computer technician, and she's going to show us about programming a computer. Like I didn't already know that.

Lauren claps her hands together. 'Right. Today we're going to talk about how programming works. Those of you who already have some experience with this stuff, please feel free to tune out. The rest of you better keep focused because I'm not going to repeat myself. Learning this stuff is like a language; it's not enough to memorise the words, you also have to understand the rules and why they work the way they do.'

I zone out completely as she talks, watching the stunning view out of the window; from this angle, the Pire gives an amazing view of the skyline and the city. The buildings look like they're shining, and the marsh is just barely discernible from between the towering skyscrapers. The Hub is the biggest of all, with its prongs piercing the sky. The sun has almost fully risen, casting a yellow-orange glow on everything.

I find a spare pen on the floor and start doodling on my hand, smirking to myself. Everyone else looks so overwhelmed; I'm the only one who knows all of this. I'm the only former Erudite here, except perhaps Lauren. Where else would she have learned all this? I learned to take apart a computer and put it back together for fun, it's not like she could _teach _me anything.

'On the desktop of your computer, you'll find a file marked Programming Test,' Lauren says. 'Open it. It will take you to a timed exam. You'll go through a series of small programs and mark the errors you find that are causing them to malfunction.' Child's play. I don't know why everyone is looking so worried. 'They might be really big things, like the order of the code, or really small things, like a misplaced word or marking. You don't have to fix them right now, but you do have to be able to spot them. There will be one error per program. Go.'

Everyone starts crazily tapping their screens. I see an opportunity for a dig at Tobias, and say, 'Did your Stiff house even have a computer, Four?'

'No,' he replies absently. Probably too tired to suspect anything.

'Well, you see, this is how you open a file.' I tap the screen, exaggerating the movement. 'See, it looks like paper, but it's really just a picture on a screen…you know what a screen is, right?'

'Shut up,' he answers without inflection, opening the test.

I race through the exam as fast as I can, faster than I usually would, looking at quotation marks and backslashes and numbers. Looking for code errors is strangely soothing, but right now my only goal is to get through this as fast as I can. For a second, I remember doing this with Alex, racing against him. I'm so much faster now; the last year before the Choosing Ceremony is, in Erudite, the most intense one. But I think he'd still be faster than me; he always was.

For a second, the thought sends a stab of grief through me. But I ignore it, no time for grief and memories now, and keep going. Eventually a window pops up; _Exam Complete._

Lauren walks over to me and nods approvingly. I notice that no one else, including Tobias, looks even almost ready to finish. I decide to stay behind him and watch him complete the exam. Another thing I would do with Alex. Tobias is going faster than I thought he would. Since when did he get to this level of programming?

Eventually he reaches the same notification as I did; _Exam Complete. _Lauren notices and walks over. 'Good job. You're the third one to finish.'

As she walks over to someone else, Four turns to me, smirking. I don't like the look on his face, but before I can say anything he says, 'Wait. Weren't you about to explain what a screen was? Obviously I have _no _computer skills at all, so I really need your help.'

His grin widens, and I scowl. Sometimes I really, _really _hate him.

**A/N: Hi! I've just realised what may be a source of confusion…Chapter 13 has been changed. It's now Amar's chapter, and Eric's chapter, the one after that, is now chapter 14. If you haven't seen it already, it's my favourite chapter to write. **

**Here's something to consider... What do you think  
would've happened if Eric hadn't come to Dauntless? I know that Dauntless would be a better place, but that's as far as I've got. What do you think? Leave your thoughts in a review! Maybe I should start doing a What-If scenario every chapter…**

**Thanks so much for all the support! Still don't own Divergent…3rd time I remembered to mention this…Maybe I'll make it to 4 disclaimers soon!**


	18. Evelyn: Reveal

_On the day you hated most_

_At the time when she died_

_In the place where you first jumped on._

It's perfect. I know Tobias will understand the note. Codes can be broken, but not this one. Tobias is the only one who will have the faintest idea what this means.

Wednesday, the day Marcus came back from council meetings in a terrible mood, and took it out on us. Two o'clock in the morning; my estimated time of death. Of course, by then, I was long gone. And the train platform where Tobias jumped to join Dauntless.  
I just hope no other important females in his life have died since then.

Next Wednesday, two a.m., at the train platform.

And I'll finally see my son again.

Of course, I've caught glimpses of him over the past few years, but those were secret, stolen glances. I ached to go to the Choosing Ceremony, but I can't risk being seen. If I was spotted, and recognised, I would be in more trouble than I can afford to be in.

And then I saw him at the game of Dare, just like I'd hoped to, out in the streets. He was laughing with another boy, short and slight with dark hair, and a girl. I hoped he would notice me, but I knew this wasn't the time.

He didn't come ziplining. I risked a trip to the Hancock building just in case he was there, one hundred floors up, but I didn't see him. Although I got as close as I dared, I had to admit defeat. I ignored the little voice in my head that tells me Tobias doesn't like heights, although I wish I hadn't.

I still remember the shock I felt when I heard Tobias had chosen Dauntless. I never thought he would choose anything but Abnegation, as all Abnegation do. But once I'd put I aside the shock, I knew that now was the time. Without Marcus, or any other Abnegation to hinder the process.

I'm sure that Marcus explained that I'm not dead. He knows, after all. It's been years since I vanished, since I was registered dead. Marcus knows everything. In fact, a lot of the Abnegation know everything. But would they admit that one of their members left them?

I don't dare to deliver the note, in case someone recognises me. Instead, I ask Ellen, a former Dauntless member, as one of them, and send her off with strict instructions and the letter. An hour later, she returns, telling me that the note is in Tobias's apartment. I breathe a sigh of relief. The difficult part is over.

Now for the hardest part.

I leave late; one forty-five in the morning. I know that if Tobias is coming at all, he'll be early, and I don't want to have to wait for him. As I leap onto a train, leaping onto the second-last car, I think of Tobias. What he'll say when he sees me.

As I watch the platform looming, getting bigger and bigger until I jump out, I see a figure waiting. Tobias waited for me. He looks into my eyes blankly until I'm a few feet away, when recognition sparks in his gaze. Surprised, shocked, something more intense, his expression changes and finally settles on something tense and unreadable.

'Tobias,' I breathe. His eyes are wide, childlike. Almost vulnerable. 'I know this must be… alarming for you.' Well, that's not true. I don't know what he's feeling at all; it's not like this has happened to me before.

Suddenly his face closes off, like a door slamming. 'You're supposed to be dead.' I don't recognise his voice. It's deeper and stronger than his childlike voice that I remember. The first thing he says to me when I come back from the dead, or so he thought. But wouldn't Marcus have told him?

I almost want to laugh, and I would if it hadn't been for an emotionless tone in his voice. 'I know,' I reply softly. 'I'm not.'

'Obviously.' This isn't the voice I remember. Tobias sounds sarcastic, almost snide, something he never would have dared to do before. 'Were you ever even pregnant?'

The question rattles me for a second, before I remember. They would have had to come up with an excuse, a cause of death. 'Pregnant? Is that what they told you, something about me dying in childbirth? No, I wasn't. I had been planning my exit for months. I needed to disappear. I thought he might tell you when you were old enough.'

Tobias laughs. 'You thought that _Marcus Eaton _would admit that his wife left him. To _me.' _

I'm confused. 'You're his son,' I say. 'He loves you.'

He laughs again; strange, mechanical, almost scary.

'You have a right to be angry that you were lied to,' I say. 'I would be angry too.' No, I wouldn't. 'But, Tobias, I had to leave, I know you understand why…' I reach for his wrist, but he pushes me away.

'Don't touch me,' he says, and I back away.

'All right, all right,' I reply, although it isn't. I back away a few paces. 'But you do understand, you _must.' _I don't know whether I'm trying to convince myself or him.

'What I _understand _is that you left me in a house with a sadistic maniac,' he snarls. As Tobias crosses his arms, he really does look like a Dauntless. This is not the Tobias that I knew. There are creases on his forehead, dark rings under his eyes, the shadow of bruises in his face. The way he talks; sarcastic, snide, strong. Not the slightest hint of happiness. Even his voice is deeper and rougher. He's grown to six foot, tall and muscular. There's a new stability in the way he stands, like he's ready for anything.

Where is the Tobias that I knew?

'I-' I try to start again but he cuts me off.

'Stop wasting my time. What are we doing here?' He tosses a piece of paper on the ground, and I realise with a start it's the note I sent him, the note I knew Ellen would deliver safely. 'It's been seven years since you _died,' _and the last word is said with a contempt I didn't know Tobias had in him, 'and you never tried to do this dramatic reveal before, so what's different now?'

Seven years. So much less, so much more. 'We…the factionless… like to keep an eye on things. Things like the Choosing Ceremony. This time, our eye told me that you chose Dauntless. I would have gone myself, but I didn't want to risk running into _him.' _Marcus. I don't say his name, but Tobias knows just as well as I do. 'I've become…kind of a leader to the factionless, and it's important that I don't expose myself.'

Tobias's face twists. 'Well, well. What important parents I have. I'm so very lucky,' he adds sourly.

'This isn't like you. Is even a part of you happy to see me again?' I ask, trying not to sound too desperate but fearing that I am.

'Happy to see you again,' he repeats. 'I barely remember you, Evelyn. I've almost lived as long without you as I did with you.' Each word is a stab in the chest, harder than anything ever before.

I thought that the hardest thing would be delivering the note. I've imagined the reunion so many times, but never had it been like this. He was nine years old when I left him. I don't know why I thought he'd never get over it, why I thought Marcus would tell him.

The only thing I can do is finish what I came here to do, what no one else can tell him. 'When you chose Dauntless, I knew it was time to reach out to you. I've always been planning to find you, after you chose and you were on your own so that I could invite you to join us.'

'Join you,' he repeats, his mouth twisting like he tastes something sour. 'Become factionless? Why would I want to do that?' The incredulousness in his voice shocks me.

'Our city is changing, Tobias. The factionless are coming together, and so are Dauntless and Erudite. Sometime soon, everyone will have to choose a side, and I know which one you would rather be on.' I regret the words as soon as they are out of my mouth. 'I think you could really make a difference with us,' I finish weakly.

When he speaks, his voice is derisive, almost malicious. 'You know which one I'd rather be on. Really. I'm not a faction traitor, I chose Dauntless; that's where I belong.'

'You aren't one of those mindless danger-seeking fools. Just like you weren't a suffocated Stiff drone. You can be more than either, more than any faction.' Selfless, honest, brave, smart and kind. Divergent.

'You have no idea what I am or who I can be. I was the first ranked initiate. They want me to be a Dauntless leader.' He doesn't bother to mask the pride in his voice, and for a second I'm proud. But then I remember what's really happening.

'Don't be naïve,' I say, narrowing my eyes. 'They don't want a new leader, they want a pawn they can manipulate. That's why Jeanine Matthews frequents Dauntless headquarters, that's why she keeps planting minions in your faction to report on their behaviour. You haven't noticed that she seems to be aware of things she has no right to be aware of, that they keep shifting Dauntless training around, experimenting with it? As if the Dauntless would ever change something like that on their own.'

Tobias's face changes again, before settling on exhaustion, no trace of the malicious energy that I saw when I met him. He leans towards me slightly. 'Even if you're right… even if you're right about Dauntless, I would never join you.' His voice shakes slightly as he goes on. 'I never want to see you again.'

A punch in the face, a stab in the heart, every word hitting right where it hurts the most. 'I don't believe you,' I say quietly. How can he not want to see me? I'm not like Marcus, not at all.

'I don't care what you believe,' Tobias snarls. He spins past me and walks away, his pace breaking into a run until I see him sprinting away. Pushing the heels of my hands into my eyes, I fight back tears.

That didn't go to plan.

**A/N: Sorry about the lack of updates, I was battling a severe case of writer's block combined with a lot on my mind. There's a boy in my class who asked me out. Two problems: My mum would never let me out on a date with a boy (I'm 12 and he's 14). And the worst thing is that I really don't return his crush. I've just been feeling so bad, and I've had no time for stories. I'm still not sure what to do with half the things in my life, but I'm still trying, please just bear with me :)**

**What did you think? Thanks for reading! Review to tell me what you think about it! :D**


	19. Tori: Factions

Not long after sunrise, I drag myself to the tattoo parlour with a cup of coffee, and start sketching, trying to keep myself awake. Picking up a pencil, I lose myself in half-asleep thoughts, and soon Amar's face smiles up at me from the paper. Sighing, I know that he's not going to leave my thoughts for a long time yet. It's enough to be thinking about them all day; I just want to stop drawing him.

As I start a new sketch, my mind wanders again. Four walks into the tattoo parlour, looking worried. 'Something wrong?' I ask him. 'I'm not really here. I'm supposed to go for a run with Bud, that maniac.' He's all for morning runs, and somehow persuaded me to come along. It seemed a good idea at the time, but while it's cold outside, I'm sorely regretting it. I'm just hoping he'll come here and talk me into it, so I don't have to feel bad.

'I was hoping you'd make an exception,' he replies. I search my mind for various explanations why, and come up with nothing.

'Not many people come in here with urgent tattoo requests,' I say. None, in fact.

'First time for everything,' he replies, as if hearing my thoughts.

'Okay.' I rub my eyes and sit up, hoping the caffeine from my drink will kick in soon. 'You have something in mind?' I ask.

Four hesitates. 'You had a drawing in your apartment when we walked through it a few weeks ago.' Somehow, I instinctively know what he's going to say, even before he says it. 'It was of all the faction symbols together. Still have it?'

_Oh, no. _A sinking pit of dread fills my stomach. 'You weren't supposed to see that,' is all I can manage. We both know why. It puts all the factions in an equal position. None better than another. Selfless, brave, honest, peaceful and kind. We are supposed to assert Dauntless supremacy in our tattoos; the Dauntless flames, for example.

I know one thing; that's a sure-fire way to be labelled as a faction traitor. With Amar's death so soon and still so fresh in my mind, I don't think I'd be able to cope with that right now.

'That's sort of the point. I want that tattoo,' Four says, confirming my worst fears.

Too loud. My gaze automatically flicks up to the camera in the corner, and, with a shock, I realise Four is already looking at it. Perhaps he's the perceptive type I'd wondered about. 'It was just a stupid drawing,' I say loudly. He catches on instantly and says nothing. Luckily, the cameras are rarely monitored here; what would go on in a tattoo parlour, especially barely an hour after sunrise? More than Dauntless leaders would ever expect, that's for sure.

'Come on, you're clearly upset. We can talk about it, find something better for you to get.'

We walk to the back of the parlour; through the storage room behind it and a corridor, then into my apartment. The table is still covered in drawings; shuffled, creased, but still there. I meant to tidy it up, but with all that's been going on, I never really got round to it. I sift through the sketches and tattoo ideas, ignoring the pang of grief I feel when I see Amar and Georgie's drawing, the one I sketched on the day of his funeral.

I flip it face down so Four doesn't see.

Eventually, I come across the sketch. The Dauntless flames, Abnegation hands, the Amity tree, Erudite eye and Candor scales. One of the best drawings I've done, but undeniably the most dangerous. I hold it up, and he nods.

'I can't do this in a place that people will see all the time. That'll make you a walking target. A suspected faction traitor.'

'I want it on my back. Covering my spine.'

I sigh. If a tattoo on the ribs is painful, the back is much, much worse. 'You really don't do things halfway, do you? It'll take a long time. Several sessions. We'll have to do them in here, after hours, because I'm not going to let those cameras catch it, even if they don't bother to look in here most of the time.'

'That's fine,' he says, perhaps realising my attempt to deter him and perhaps just ignoring it.

'You know, the kind of person who gets this tattoo is probably the kind of person who should keep it very quiet,' I say. The window of opportunity has opened and it won't stay that way for long. 'Or else someone will start thinking they're Divergent.'

'Divergent?' he repeats. I get the sense that he hasn't heard the word before.

'That's a word we have for people who are aware during simulations, who refuse categorisation. A word you don't speak without care because those people often die in mysterious circumstances.'

My elbows are resting on my knees as I sketch the tattoo on transfer paper. A casual position that betrays none of the conflict in my mind. But I can't help looking up, and our eyes meet for a second. Something sparks, and I wonder if he's thinking of Amar, before he says casually, 'Thanks for the vocabulary lesson.'

'No problem. I'm getting the feeling you enjoy putting yourself through the wringer,' I say.

'So?' he asks, a little too defensively.

'Nothing. It's just a pretty Dauntless quality for someone who got an Abnegation result.' I haven't forgotten that. Neither has he. 'Let's get started. I'll leave a note for Bud; he can jog alone just this once.' Perhaps I'm trying to get out of the guilt of not running with him.

I begin to outline the two symbols, Dauntless and Abnegation, on his back. 'Make sure you keep them covered.' I can't help wincing when I see the scarred, rough skin on his back. Scars like that will probably never fade. Just then, it occurs to me that he's trying to cover up the scars. Maybe he is, maybe he isn't, but it's almost heartbreaking all the same.

'It's probably going to hurt more than an ordinary tattoo, because of…' I trail off. What am I supposed to say? Four nods silently, and I switch on the needle. We lapse into silence. He seems tired, and his shoes are muddy. I wonder where he's been, but somehow I stop myself from asking him. The only place where he could pick up mud is the area around the train platform, but why would he be there? My reasoning must be faulty.

After fifteen minutes that may as well be an eternity, Four speaks. 'Do you think we could be the last people in the world?'

It's such an unexpected question, I can't think of a response. Georgie always wondered that, too. 'Maybe,' I manage to respond.

'There's so much out there, but it can't all be factions. You can see further from the Abnegation sector. It's miles and miles of nothing. I saw it from my bedroom window at home.' It's the first time I've heard him ever mention his roots, and briefly struggle for something to say without seeming too awkward.

'I've never really thought about it before,' I say honestly. 'You'd be able to see for miles from the Hancock building. Maybe you'd get a better view from there.'

'Where's that?' he asks, sounding interested. I realise that he didn't go ziplining last time we went, and remember that he was scared of heights. It would have to be one of his worst nightmares to appear in his fear landscape.

'It's a one-hundred storey high building. The Dauntless like to go over to there in big groups, and then zipline down… Some say that the Hancock building was invented for that purpose; it's right in the middle of nowhere.'

Over an hour flies past, and both the tattoos are outlined when Four jumps up. 'Oh, God, I'm late for the leadership meeting.'

'Better run, then.' I quickly cover up the tattoos with a bandage. Hopefully no one will suspect anything; Dauntless get tattoos all the time, and they often take more than one session. 'Keep them covered,' I repeat.

For a long time after he's left, his question echoes in my mind. Something I'd never thought of before, but that I can't stop thinking of now.

_Do you think we could be the last people left in the world?_

**A/N: Aaaaand another chapter up! Writer's block is gone (almost). I've had a ton of ideas for a ton of other fandoms (Warriors, Sherlock, The Hunger Games, Twilight and a couple of others) and am hoping to get them typed up soon. So, what do you think of this chapter? **

**And a question: What faction would you suit most? I wish I could say Dauntless, because I'm sure I'd get through the most part of initiation, but I don't think I'd survive the fights. It'd probably be Erudite because I'm really intellectual and love reading, but definitely not Abnegation or Candor… **

**What did you think? Please leave a review to tell me what you thought! Thanks to everyone that's reviewed so far, you guys are amazing! :)**


	20. Eric: Leadership

'Do my eyes deceive me, or are you really late because you were getting a tattoo?' I gesture to the bandage peeking over Tobias's shoulder.

He doesn't give me the reaction I'd hoped for. 'Lost track of time.' He looks closer at me. 'A lot of metal appears to have attached itself to your face recently. You may want to get that checked out.'

He's talking about my piercings. I've increased the amount on my face; no one could mistake me for being an Erudite now. It's a perfect plan. There are rings through my eyebrows as well as my lips; I'm fast running out of space, the speed I'm getting them.

'Funny,' I say as sarcastically as I can. 'Wasn't sure someone with _your _background could ever develop a sense of humour. _Your father _doesn't seem like the type to allow it.' I'm dancing very close to saying his name. _Tobias Eaton. _We both know that the power has shifted to me, and no matter how hard he tries, he can't regain it. I can reveal his name, right now, in front of everyone, and there is _nothing he can do about it. _

'I think I know who told you that,' he says quietly. I can't tell if he's bluffing or not.

'I was already fairly sure. But my suspicions were confirmed by a credible source, yes.' Jeanine Matthews. The woman I get most of my information from. 'You aren't as good as keeping secrets as you think, _Four.' _

He doesn't say anything. We sit in silence, watching the oldest Dauntless in the room, barely more than twenty-one, file out. I remember Max's words. '_Today I would like to hear your thoughts about how to improve Dauntless; the vision you have for our faction in the coming years. I'll be meeting with you in groups by age - the oldest first. The rest of you, think of something good to say.'_

We're eventually called out. Tobias and I are the youngest in the room, fresh from initiation, and therefore the last. Plenty of time to think about what I want to say. Max silently beckons to us, and we follow him to his office.

'So. Eric. Let's begin with you. Do you have ideas for what might be good for Dauntless moving forward?'

I sit up straighter and breathe deeply, trying to quell the plume of excitement rising up inside me. 'I do. I think we need to make some changes, and I think they should start during initiation.'

Max nods. 'What kind of changes do you have in mind?'

'Dauntless has always embraced a spirit of competition. Competition makes us better; it brings out the best, strongest parts of us. I think initiation should foster that sense of competition more than it currently does, so that it produces the best initiates possible. Right now, initiates are competing only against the system, striving for a particular score in order to move forward.'

I lean forward and, with a deep breath, drop the bombshell that will, under Jeanine's instruction, change Dauntless forever. 'I think they should be competing against each other for spots in Dauntless.'

Tobias turns and stares at me incredulously. 'And if they don't get a spot?'

'They become factionless,' I say. 'If we believe that Dauntless is the superior faction to join, that its aims are more important than the aims of other factions, then becoming one of us should be an honour, and a privilege, not a right. I-'

'Are you kidding?' Tobias bursts out, interrupting me. 'People choose a faction because they value the same things that a faction values, not because they're already proficient in what a faction teaches. You'd be kicking people out of Dauntless just for not being strong enough to jump onto a train, or win a fight. You would favour the strong and reckless more than the small, smart and brave; you wouldn't be improving Dauntless at all.'

'I'm sure the small, smart ones would be better off in Erudite, or as little gray-clad Stiffs,' I say, smiling wryly. Jeanine showed me what would happen, she _knew_ Tobias would argue, and she instructed me what to say and how to say it. Patronisingly, but not too much so Max detects it. 'I don't think you're giving our potential new Dauntless members enough credit, Four. This system would favour only the most determined.'

Tobias opens his mouth to retaliate, but Max cuts in. He's looking at me happily, as if I have a good idea. 'This is an interesting debate. Four, how would you improve Dauntless, if not by making initiation more competitive?'

Tobias shakes his head, looking out of the window. The Hub is barely visible, its two prongs piercing the sky. 'I would improve Dauntless by fostering true bravery instead of stupidity and brutality. Take out the knife throwing. Prepare people physically and mentally to defend the weak against the strong. That's what our manifesto encourages; ordinary acts of bravery. I think we should return to that.'

This is going better than I expected. Or worse, depending on Tobias's point of view. I roll my eyes derisively. 'And then we can all hold hands and sing a song together, right? You want to turn Dauntless into Amity.'

'No,' Tobias says. 'I want to make sure we still know how to think for ourselves, think about more than the next surge of adrenaline. Or just think, at all. That way we can't be taken over, or _controlled from the outside.'_

He places emphasis on the last words, looking straight at me, and in that moment, I _know _that he knows what I'm doing. I don't know how, or why, but I need to be a lot more careful.

'Sounds a little _Erudite _to me,' I say, testing the waters. Two can play at this game. He has no proof.

'The ability to think isn't exclusive to Erudite,' Tobias retorts. 'The ability to think in stressful situations is what the fear simulations are supposed to develop.'

I start to retaliate, but Max holds up his hands. 'All right, all right.' He looks stressed. 'Four, I'm sorry to say this, but you sound a little paranoid. Who would take us over, or try to control us? The factions have coexisted peacefully for longer than you've been alive. There's no reason that's going to change now.'

I try to hide my smile as Tobias opens his mouth, snaps it shut, and starts to talk calmly. 'To be honest, I don't think this is the right place for me. I told you when you first asked me that I'd like to be an instructor, and I think I'm realising more and more that that's where I belong.'

My smile grows. One less competitor for the position of leadership. The odds are looking better by the second. Max studies him for a few seconds. Tobias looks at him straight back in the eye, his expression unreadable. 'Eric, will you leave us, please?'

I know that I can't refuse Max when he asks. I want to stay in his good books, so I nod and leave perhaps a little too eagerly. I wait just around the corner, where I can still hear every word Max is saying to Tobias.

'…I still think you're a strong candidate for leadership. You fit the right profile, you've demonstrated proficiency with everything we've taught you, and beyond that, you're more likeable than some of our other promising candidates, which is important in a close working environment.'

_But what about me? _I want to scream. _I'm proficient with everything, and I'm likeable, too. And my idea is so much better than Tobias's one. _Jeanine promised I would be a leader. _She promised._

'Thank you,' Tobias says. 'But you're right, the pressure is getting to me. And the pressure if I was actually a leader would be much worse.'

I grin, waiting for Max to speak.

'Well. If you'd like to be an initiation instructor, I'll arrange that for you. But that's seasonal work. Where would you like to be placed for the rest of the year?'

'I was thinking maybe the control room. I've discovered that I enjoy working with computers.' I grit my teeth, remembering the computer technician meeting a few days ago. 'I don't think I would enjoy patrolling nearly as much.'

'Okay,' Max replies, sounding almost sad. 'Thank you for being honest with me. If you ever change your mind, please don't hesitate to tell me. We could always use someone like you.'

I hear them getting up. As I'd hoped, Tobias walks round the corner alone. I grab his arm, hard. 'Careful, _Eaton. _If anything about my involvement with Erudite escapes you, you won't like what happens to you.' This is better; he knows that I'm involved, but he can't prove it.

'You won't like what happens to you, if you call me by that name again,' he retorts. We both know that I'll never think of him as Four. He wears his brilliance in that name.

'Soon, I'm going to be one of your leaders. And believe me,' I say, smirking, 'I am going to keep a very, _very _close eye on you and how well you implement my new training methods.'

Tobias scowls at me. 'He doesn't like you, you know that? Max, I mean. He'd rather have anyone else but you. He's not going to give you more than an inch in any direction, so good luck with your short leash.'

Before I can think of a reply, he wrenches his arm from my grip and walks away.

**A/N: Hello, it's me again :) Here's a question: Which do you think is the best book; Divergent, Insurgent, or Allegiant? I like Divergent the best, because it was** _**normal, **_**rather than everything being turned upside down like in the other two books. And it didn't end up getting some of the main characters killed off (Yes, a few died, but those who have read Allegiant will know what I mean)… Leave your answer in a review, I'd love to hear what you think!**

**What do you think of this chapter? And a big question, now we're on chapter 20 *grins manically* What do you think of the way that the story is turning out so far? I'm really proud of it, but I really want to know what you think? Thank you so much for all the supportive reviews I've had! You guys are unbelievable awesome :D Thanks so much for reading :)**


	21. Shauna: Liking, Loving

'Hey, Four!' I call. Sitting by the chasm, I see him walking towards the stairs and beckon him over. 'What's up?'

'The ceiling,' he grins. I look up and see the glass ceiling, people walking over it like there's absolutely no chance of it cracking. The thought makes me wince slightly and I avert my eyes from it.

'How's leadership training going?' I ask. I can't believe Four's going to be a leader at the age of sixteen.

He lowers himself down to sit next to me, our feet dangling over the edge of the chasm. 'It's not. I'm out,' he says.

_'What?'_

'Bit of a bad day so far,' he says, smiling. 'Eric wants to make training ten times more brutal and competitive than it is already. He's going to make cuts at the end of training.' At my confused look, he elaborates 'They compete for one of ten spots in Dauntless, rather than an unlimited amount like we've always had. If they don't make it, that's it. _Factionless.' _

I inhale sharply. 'Really? But what about Max?'

'Max allows it. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that Max thinks it's a good idea.' The look on Four's face tells me exactly what he thinks of it. I can't believe that Max would allow this; I wouldn't believe it if it hadn't come from someone like Four.

It's strange how much Dauntless training has changed already. Six years ago, the training sessions were brief. Padding was worn, the knife throwing was only there for fun. It was all about friendship, Dauntless bravery rather than bravado. Paintballing and ziplining and games of Dare rather than fights and competitiveness.

'You still haven't told me how you got kicked out,' I say, because it's all I can focus my mind on. I can't believe he's not going to be a leader anymore. He'd have been a better leader than Eric will ever be.

Four rests his head on the bar of the chasm and closes his eyes, telling me the rest of the story. I notice that although there is anger and some sadness in his voice, there is no regret. 'And now I'm going to be an initiation instructor, and work in the control room for the rest of the year. To be honest, I think it's what I always wanted to do.'

Even then, I sigh. 'Man, that is a bad day.'

'Yeah.' A large wave from the chasm sends cold spray over our ankles, and we stay silent. That's another thing I like about Four; he doesn't try to fill spaces, he doesn't say things that are better left unsaid.

'Where's Zeke?' he asks eventually.

'I don't know. I haven't wanted to hang out with him much recently.'

He gives me a sideways glance. 'You could just tell him that you like him, you know. I honestly don't think he has a clue.'

Four is scarily perceptive at times. I know that I like Zeke, but I didn't tell anyone. Am I that transparent, or is Four just very clever?

I roll my eyes. 'That's obvious. But what if this is what he wants; to just bounce around from girl to girl for a while? I don't want to be one of those girls he bounces to.'

'I seriously doubt you would be,' Four replies quietly, and I'm surprised with the certainty in his tone, 'but fair enough.'

There is another silence, and I give him a sideways glance. He doesn't just look tired, but exhausted. I suppose the last few weeks have taken their toll on him. It's strange, the way he's so different to Zeke. He is quiet, and Zeke is loud. He is, perhaps, more likeable than Zeke in some ways, although I know that I like Zeke a lot. 'You'll be a good instructor,' I say quietly. 'You were really good at teaching me.'

The afternoon when he taught me to throw a good punch; an uppercut, I remember. I beat Ashley, who still hates me for that. It's a little like Four and Eric; we are both at each other's throats, although I know that Eric hates Four a lot more than Ashley hates me. I can see it in the smug looks Eric shoots Four, and the freezing glares he gets in return.

'Thanks,' he says, smiling slightly. Unlike Zeke, he doesn't seek out praise or fish for compliments.

'_There _you are.' I hear a loud voice from behind me; Zeke is running up to us. Of course it's him. He's carrying a large bottle by the neck. 'Come on, I found something.'

Knowing Zeke, it could be anything. Part of me wants to see what is happening, to get caught up in his Dauntless excitement. But the other part of me wants to stay back with Four, quietly watching the chasm. It's more peaceful that way. Four looks at me and shrugs, probably thinking the same as I am.

We follow Zeke as he races off at his typical top speed. He leads us up to the door of the Pit, the one we came through after we first jumped into the net, when we were first accepted as Dauntless initiates. But he doesn't lead us to the net. Instead, he takes us through another door, the lock taped with duct tape. Then we stumble through a pitch black corridor and an equally dark flight of stairs.

'Should be coming up— ouch!'

'Sorry, I didn't know you were stopping.'

'Hold on, almost got it…' Zeke opens a door, letting in light. We're on the other side of the chasm, several feet above the water. The Pit above us looks like it goes on forever. The people by the rails that Four and I were leaning on just minutes ago look impossibly small, like little beetles, hard to distinguish.

'How did you _find _this place?' I ask, stepping carefully down onto a rock, wondering if the people on the other side of the Pit can see us, if they're wondering what we're doing.

'That girl Maria,' Zeke replies. As he says her name, a chill goes through me for no good reason. 'Her mum works in chasm maintenance. I didn't know there was such a thing, but apparently there is.'

I see a window of opportunity that won't stay open for long, and decide to ask casually, 'You still seeing her?' Four shoots me a sideways glance, as if sensing what I'm thinking, but he doesn't say anything.

'Nah,' says Zeke equally casually. Relief shoots through me. 'Every time I was with her, I kept getting the itch to just be friends. That's not a good sign, is it?'

'No,' I agree, feeling like the weight of the world has come off my shoulders. Four gives me a faint smile. We both sit down on the rocks, and wait for Zeke to stumble over to join us.

'I heard you're out of the running,' he says to Four. He opens the bottle he'd brought, and starts passing it round. 'I thought you might need a drink.'

'Yeah,' Four replies noncommittally.

'Consider this act of public drunkenness a big…' Zeke makes an obscene gesture to the glass ceiling. 'You know, to Max and Eric.'

I laugh, but Four doesn't. 'And Evelyn,' he murmurs, so quietly I can barely hear him. Zeke doesn't notice, and so I don't say anything, despite wondering who Evelyn is. He leans on a rock. 'I'll be working in the training room when I'm not training initiates,' he continues.

Zeke grins. 'Awesome. It'll be good to have a friend in there. Right now no one talks to me.' Zeke finds silence at best irritating and at worst physically painful. The stillness and silence of the control room must be unbearable to him.

Four laughs, and I realise I've hardly ever heard a genuine laugh from him before. I've heard mocking laughs, derisive laughs, but only twisted versions. _We should get him to laugh more, _I think, and resolve to talk to Zeke later. 'Sounds like me in my old faction,' he says. I notice the way he carefully avoids saying _Abnegation. _'Imagine an entire lunch period in which no one even looks at you.' His voice is filled with mock horror.

'Ouch,' answers Zeke, sounding genuinely horrified. Then he grins. 'Well, I bet you're glad to be here now.'

Four grabs the bottle from Zeke, who doesn't even notice, and takes a large mouthful, not even grimacing at the taste like he used to. 'Yeah. I am,' he says.

I can't help cycling through Four's words; about Eric's threat, about leadership. If Eric really does manage to take control of Dauntless… what will he do?

**Hello, everyone! Did you have a good Christmas? I did; my 11 cousins came over to our house (they're all except one younger than 9, one of them is 11) and it was absolute madness. I ** **hid in my room for an hour writing this **_**totally **_**didn't get freaked at the really, **_**really **_**loud noise…**

**I won't be able to update for the rest of the year… *shock horror* ****it won't be long, luckily** **Writer's block chooses to appear at this time; initiation has finished and there's no set pattern for what's happening now, and we'll be going down to England for a week or two before school starts. **

**72 reviews! Thank you so, so much, you guys are awesome :) Also, what do you think would've happened if the Erudite rebellion didn't happen? Like if Tris was a member of Dauntless as normal? I think that Christina would've got together with Will, but they wouldn't have met Amar because the video of Amanda Ritter wouldn't've been released because there was no war in the first place, so maybe the war was a good thing… :D**

**One last thing: If you're a Sherlockian, have you checked out my other story? It's really funny, the way that this story has upwards of 70 reviews, and my other one, More than You'll Ever Know, has none… :( It's M-rated, trigger warnings, and it's basically where I write way too maturely for a 12 year old. (oops.) **

**Thanks for reading :)**


	22. Natalie: Remember

_'You've been selected… for a job to do.' David's voice is exhausted, as if he's spent the whole night pacing around instead of sleeping. Knowing him, he probably did. 'To be honest, I'd like you to refuse their offer.'_

_'Fine,' I say. 'I refuse the kind offer.' I pause. 'What exactly is the offer?'_

_'Well, I'm not sure you get much choice in whether to take up the job or not.' David looks incredibly sad, but he only piques my curiosity. 'But I suppose you'd better hear about it. I'm just the messenger.' He takes me to a table, and we sit down. 'How often have you heard of the experiments?'_

_'Not much. Why?' I ask. The experiments are groups of people living in different parts of our land, what used to be North America; some with damaged genes, some with healed genes. The Bureau of Genetic Welfare, my home, monitors them, some with more care than others._

_'Specifically, the five factions.'_

_The five factions are the experiment that I have always been interested in. 'Abnegation and Dauntless,' I begin uncertainly. 'They're the only two I remember.' Well, that's not exactly true. They're the only two I took an interest in, the only two I watch on the camera feeds. The brave and the selfless. The chaos and serenity. Polar opposites, and yet the two I have always been drawn to._

_David nods approvingly. 'Candor, Erudite and Amity,' he completes. 'The people at the top of the Bureau have decided that there's a job to be done, and you are the best person to get it done…'_

I open my eyes with a start, looking around frantically while I get my bearings. Taking slow, deep breaths in a futile attempt to calm my racing heart, I look over at Andrew. He has not seen my panic; he is sleeping peacefully across from me.

My heart is still beating loudly, and the noise overwhelms me. I can't stop picturing David's face as he tells me what the Bureau have dictated I have to do. _Calm down. _But the Bureau refuses to move out of my mind.

_No. _I have to dispel these thoughts before they get the better of me. I am not Natalie Wright anymore. Not now, not ever. I do not live in the Bureau, I do not live in Dauntless. I cannot be the hardened, strong girl who saw her mother kill her father. I am Natalie Prior. I live in Abnegation, the calmest faction of all. I am serene and calm and patient. I do not have a hot temper or sarcastic tendencies. I have two children and a husband, I am a government representative, and I will _never be Natalie Wright again._

Why is that fact so hard to accept?

Natalie Wright was headstrong and brave and hardened. She saw her mother kill her father. She has not cried since the age of twelve. She lived a hard life, harder than many people will ever know. And she is not me. Not anymore.

I remember Matthew's serious words. _You cannot be half in and half out. It is either the Bureau or the factions. _Yet I am half in the factions and half in the Bureau, helping the Divergent escape yet never knowing their fate. Watching them go, yet never following them.

What does David think of me now? Does he remember me? Does he care? We kept in touch for a full year after I left, while I was settling into Dauntless. But after I met Andrew, it barely took me days to realise where I wanted to be. Where _we _wanted to be. Where we could be safe.

It wasn't Dauntless like David expected.

I remember the letters I sent him through my tablet, how they became less frequent as I settled into Abnegation. His letters became shorter, perhaps more detached. After he sent me a letter accusing me of being just a silly teenage girl, I reacted to it as Natalie Wright would have done.

_Honestly, I don't think you care that I didn't choose Erudite like I was supposed to. It sounds like you're actually just jealous. And if you want me to keep updating you, you'll apologize for doubting me. But if you don't, I won't send you any more updates, and I certainly won't leave the city. It's up to you._

_-Natalie_

It wasn't the final letter, although I thought it would have been. David replied just how I knew he would. There was one more that I sent him, each word seared into my memory, a full two years afterwards.

_Dear David,_

_I got your letter. I understand why you can't be on the receiving end of these updates, and I'll respect your decision, but I'll miss you. _

_I wish you every happiness._

_-Natalie_

I knew nothing could express the aching hole of sadness inside me, and so I didn't even try. Every word was typed with a careful, slow precision, my fingers hovering over the keys. Deleting it, then typing it again, and then deleting it, and typing it back in, until I finally found the courage to press the _send _button.

After that, there was no going back. David didn't contact me, and I didn't contact him. I stopped thinking of him every day, starting to live in the present, letting go of the past. After Caleb was born, and then Beatrice a few months later, I knew that I needed to move on.

'Natalie?' Andrew's voice jerks me out of my thoughts. The man who I defied the Bureau's plans for, the man who I have never stopped loving. For a moment I forget myself and smile at him; a wide, natural smile, not a close-lipped Abnegation one; and then hurriedly arrange my features into a serene mask. _You forget yourself. _'You're in a good mood,' he notes.

_I can see why you were in Erudite. _I almost say it out loud, but stop myself just in time. Perhaps Natalie Wright would have said it out loud, but I am in Abnegation now. 'I had good dreams,' I say, not untruthfully. 'I-' I stop, hearing Beatrice's voice in the next room, urging Caleb to wake up, and smile again. Beatrice has always been a little more boisterous than the average Abnegation girl; I think she gets that from me; whereas Caleb takes after Andrew, being selfless and clever.

They are both fourteen. I have stopped counting the years since my Choosing Ceremony, but there is a part of me that has always kept track. We do not celebrate birthdays in Abnegation; there are barely any families that even acknowledge them; but the part of me from the Bureau remembers. There are so many things that I should have forgotten, but that I have buried in the past rather than letting them go.

Sometimes I hear David's soft, insistent voice ringing in my ears. _Never forget, Natalie._

And though I am not the Natalie he once knew, I will still remember.

I will always remember.

**A/N: Hello! I'm back :) Bit late now, but how was your new year? I am so sorry I haven't updated in ages… I've had a lot of things happening, including writer's block, yet another batch of mock exams (I did really well on them!), awkward friends, a hell of a lot of homework and a recent obsession with Doctor Who. What's been happening in your life? Anything interesting? I have had a million plot bunnies that I never seem to get round to writing. :P**

**What do you think of this chapter? It's not one of my better ones, I wrote it in a bit of a hurry… I'm also going to go back and edit the first few chapters up to about Amar's second chapter. Thank you SO MUCH for all the support I've been getting. You guys are amazing! :)**


	23. Tobias: Time and Paintballs

Time passes endlessly. I have long since given up on trying to count the days, to stop them blurring into each other. Each day is just another day that Eric hasn't exposed my secrets, just another blur of names and faces and Dauntless bravery.

I declined the offer to go ziplining, saying I wasn't feeling well. It was, in a way, true, as I hate even thinking about heights, let alone jumping off a building with just a harness. Zeke tried to persuade me; Shauna didn't. I think that, to some degree, she understood.

I've started training for the initiation instructor position. There aren't as many candidates as there are for the leadership program, but it's just as rigorous and testing. There are fear landscapes portions, fighting techniques, ranking practises. I have no trouble in the fear landscape section, though I can't help being relieved that only Max can see my fears.

I meet a few new people, including a girl called Nicole. It takes a few days to place her, but I eventually realise that she is the girl who went out with Zeke for a month, who Shauna was so obviously jealous of. She is nice, but I know that she wouldn't make a good initiation instructor; she is too eager to please, never wanting to offend anyone, leaving mistakes hanging in the air rather than correcting them.

I know that I am doing well, and that I'm a likely candidate for the instructor position. But what if Eric meant his threat? What if he will watch every move I make, no matter what I do and say?

The leadership program hasn't finished yet. Eric walks around like he is the leader, which, I suppose, may be true. Max didn't like him, but he's a true Dauntless like they are now; reckless, arrogant, strong. There are people who are smart and brave, sensitive and quietly forceful, the real picture of Dauntless as it is meant to be, but Eric will have none of that.

And there is, of course, Jeanine. As much as I hate to admit it, she is trying to take over Dauntless. As I watch the scenes of Dauntless flash by in the control room, I see shots of Jeanine and her lackeys more often. Sometimes in plain sight, talking to Max or even someone else, and sometimes just a flash of blue amongst the black.

Strangely, I have never seen Eric talking to Jeanine. Control-room gossip is not reliable, so I am told, yet I can believe this. Strategy. Just as the piercings, despite making him look like a human pincushion, mean that no one will think he is anything but Dauntless, no one will think he is involved with the Erudite, let alone plot with them to take down Dauntless.

It's just like I've been told. The city is changing.

Evelyn knew. Evelyn _knows. _Things are happening, and soon they will spin out of control. All I can do is watch.

_Evelyn. _The glass ceiling, always there yet never seen. I told her I never wanted to see her again. And the expression on her face, grief as clear as day, gave me a vindictive feeling of spiteful pleasure. I know I wounded her, and I was glad.

She left me with Marcus. She left me with a sadist who happens to be the government leader, with the man who refused to admit his wife left him in Abnegation with their son.

It has been months since I jumped into the net, knowing I would never see Marcus again. I have not seen him for months, though it feels like years. Knowing he will never control me again gives me a rare feeling of happiness.

I won't, _can't, _be controlled, and I want to keep it that way.

Hours, days, weeks, months. I don't register the time passage in any way, until Shauna excitedly tells me that we have been in Dauntless for half a year. 'Do you want to do something to celebrate?' she asks.

'Um, okay,' I say uncertainly, hoping it won't be ziplining.

It isn't. We eventually decide on paintballing, something that seems safer and more fun than jumping off a hundred-story building. We gather two train-cars full of former initiates, older Dauntless members and initiates from the year before. Even Tori comes along; she hasn't taken part in much since Amar's death.

We are all given guns filled with paint. Zeke notes that they smell like fish, and we all laugh. After that, we divide into two teams. We are almost at the pier when Zeke's team leaps out. Shauna gives them a five-minute head-start, and then we follow them.

We head to a place that used to be a funfair; the Ferris wheel is still there, along with a few other old attractions. Shauna rapidly explains the rules to me. Zeke's team have the flag; they have to guard it. We have to capture the flag from them. 'It's really just splattering each other with paintballs while we try and get a flag.'

She must see my face because she adds, 'Don't worry, it's really fun. Zeke's on the other team, try to get him.'

We take the strategic route; behind the Ferris wheel, keeping close to the marshes, and ending up on the pier, able to see Zeke's team just getting ready to split off. The flag; black with the Dauntless symbol and about three feet tall; is in full view of all of us. Silently, with the use of hand signals and eye contact, we move around until they are surrounded.

On Shauna's signal, we all leap out, shooting madly. There is chaos and laughter, and I find that I'm laughing harder than I would have thought possible. Seeing Zeke, I aim at him, and my paintball hits him at the same time as Shauna's.

I aim at people I know and people I don't, watching the rainbows of paint explode around me. It's mesmerising, and I find myself captivated by the colours. That is, until I get hit in the face by a green ball.

It's surprisingly fun. I didn't know how funny getting hit with paintballs could be, but it is strangely amusing. By end of it, our clothes are stained every colour except black. Shauna is trying to scrub yellow paint of her hair, muttering about how hard it'll be to get out. Zeke sustained a hit to the face; his cheek is splattered with blue. As we walk back to the train, we see a group of Abnegation trying to hide their smiles, and some Amity children giggling openly. We wave at them, and I wonder if I could have been in those Abnegation children's positions.

'So, your first paintballing experience!' Shauna smiles. 'What did you think?'

'Colourful,' I smile, acutely aware of the fact that everyone in the train car is looking at us. 'Just imagine people in my old faction paintballing.' Is it just a reflex, or do I avoid saying 'Abnegation' on purpose? She grins wider. The mental image of Abnegation people, so quiet and reserved, running around with paintball guns is enough to make even me smile. 'Just one question: where's the flag?'

After frantic searching, we realise that the flag must have been lost in all the commotion. The game is declared to have been a tie, although Shauna and Zeke are both adamant that their teams did better. I laugh, happy to sit back and listen.

I keep the rainbow-stained clothes, though I know I won't wear them again, as a reminder of what Dauntless can truly be Something to hold onto, in case Eric really does get his way with Dauntless.

**Helloooooooo :) Happy February! It's been ages since I updated… Combination of schoolwork, homework, friendship issues, writer's block, broken wrists, lost glasses and just general life. Also, has been down for a while :( I have no idea where to go with this story, but I think I know vaguely what I'm doing. (Keyword = I think) I've been getting immersed into some other fandoms and have a ton of other fics I want to work on… **

**Also, to boekenworm, I wasn't thinking about why Zeke took them to that room when I wrote that :P I think that it was just that Zeke noticed Shauna and Four were being a bit quiet, and wanted to take them somewhere interesting…? Also, it was because of his former girlfriend that he knew about the room, and I think Shauna's a bit jealous of her. What do you think?**

**Thanks so much for all the support :) Reviews are much appreciated!**


	24. Zeke: Changes

**a/n: this chapter needs a name - am seriously in need of suggestions :)**

'Zeke! Where've you been? Come _on, _we're going to be late!'

I hear Uriah calling me, but don't feel like moving. I spent most of the night talking to Four and Shauna by the chasm, and I'm tired. The chasm is amazing at night; there is the barest glimpse of the stars through the glass ceiling. Shauna loves it; she has asked me to take her there again, and I love seeing the wonder and happiness in her eyes. Four says nothing; he never says anything; but I know he enjoys it. I can see it in the way he looks at the rushing water and the sharp rocks.

We go there almost every night. The place I showed them while we were fresh out of initiation, the place that Maria showed me. It's as quiet as the Dauntless compound gets, at any time, and very relaxing. I talk to Shauna there; Four seems content just listening; I don't think I've ever seen him hold a whole conversation before without lapsing into silence.

He fell asleep there once, late at night a few days ago, and after committing the picture to memory forever, Shauna and I didn't try to wake him up. We knew he needed the sleep; the initiation instructor's training is said to be rigorous and testing in all areas; and besides, we hadn't even noticed until Shauna asked him a question; we're used to the way he doesn't say much. He looked so relaxed, younger than his seventeen years, and no one would have found us, so we deemed it safe to stay there.

He woke up a few hours later, to see Shauna and me still sitting there, talking like nothing had happened. I don't think he knew how long he had been sleeping for, but he seemed embarrassed by it, and none of us have talked about it since it happened.

Last night, we were talking almost until the morning. Four left us to get some sleep before his leadership training; he has a room by himself. I don't understand why he can even tolerate the still, silent atmosphere of that room, let alone like it. He told me once that he asked to live there; I think it was his inner Abnegation showing. I tried to make a joke about that, but the look he gave me was enough of an answer.

'_Zeke!'_

'I'm coming,' I call to Uriah.

'Bring Shauna as well!'

I beckon to Shauna, who I've been sharing a room with since initiation ended. It was an unspoken decision; we both knew that we wanted to share a room together, despite neither of us admitting it. In the end, she was the one who asked me. She grins and follows me. 'What do you think he wants now?'

'No idea,' she replies. I smile back at her. Does she know how much I like her? I haven't ever told her. I hope she knows, but common sense tells me that she doesn't. She isn't a mind-reader.

'Zeke!' yells Uriah from outside. 'I'm getting the others; meet me in the canteen. And hurry up; I want to talk to you!'

'Okay,' I call. Uriah is even more impatient than Marlene and Lynn, and that takes something.

I run down to the canteen, pulling Shauna along with me. The Dauntless compound is busy, buzzing with people milling around, but it is easy to find a pathway through them; Dauntless find it easy to pass through huge crowds without difficulty.

'Where's the fire?' calls Four from across the corridor. I look around, trying to pinpoint his location. Shauna gestures to him, waving his arm from the other side, closer to the canteen.

'The canteen,' I call. 'Don't you know? Uriah's been banging on our door for the past five minutes.'

Four smiles slightly. 'I can imagine.' Suddenly understanding lights his eyes. 'Oh, they're announcing the jobs positions, aren't they? Max mentioned it earlier.'

'They didn't do that last year,' says Shauna, looking puzzled. 'Isn't that more like what the Erudite do?'

'Our city is changing,' says Four. I can tell that it's something he's heard many times before, but I don't ask him where he's heard it from.

'Why would Max do what the Erudite does?' I ask. 'He's not…' I trail off, not entirely knowing what to say.

Something I don't recognise sparks in Four's eyes. 'They'll be announcing the leadership position, then.' His voice is wry, and I remember that he wanted to be a leader of Dauntless, but didn't get to the final stage. At Shauna's understanding smile, I briefly wonder if he's told her more than he's told me.

'Who do you think was chosen?' I ask. I don't know many of the people who applied for leadership; it's not widely known, though we do talk about it a lot.

Shauna and Four are giving me identical scathing looks. 'It's Eric,' Four says irritably, 'of course it's going to be Eric.'

I gape. 'How the _hell _did he beat you? You beat him in everything! You would be so much of a better leader than him; what made Max choose him over you?'

Four gives me a twisted smile. 'It's not that. Leadership isn't for me, but it's all he wants. He'd be better off getting it; the control room is better for me. I'll be an initiation instructor as well; I wouldn't have been able to do that if I'd been chosen for leadership.'

That's not true; I know that leaders can have other jobs as well. Again, I wonder if there's something he's not telling me.

'What are you going to do about it?' I ask without meaning to

'What? Nothing. Nothing needs to be done,' he says. 'We need to get to the canteen. I'm hungry, even if you aren't.' He walks off quickly, and I pull a face at Shauna.

'I don't really want to go anymore,' I say. 'Now we're going to have to see Eric getting the leadership position.' I can already picture his smug face and know-it-all grin.

'Well, Four gets it much worse,' Shauna says. 'Have you seen the way they look at each other?' Eric always looks like he knows something Four doesn't, and Four looks at Eric with a stare enough to cut glass.

We arrive at the canteen with time to spare. Shauna and I sit down with Four and eat; I notice that he doesn't eat much, pushing his food around his plate until Uriah, Lynn and Marlene join us.

'Zeke, I…' Uriah begins. Before he can continue, Max stands on a podium in front of a board and waves for attention.

'Quiet, everyone!' he shouts. It takes a few minutes for everyone to stop talking, but Max continues. 'Today, I will announce the newest Dauntless members' jobs. I am sure you've all heard rumours about the leadership position. And we have narrowed it down to one person.' He pauses dramatically. 'Our newest addition to the leadership team is… _Eric!'_

There is muted applause. Four claps faintly, but I can sense that it's more out of politeness than anything else. Eric stands up in front of the crowd and takes his place on the stage, smirking. It may be my imagination, but I am sure he locks eyes with Four for a moment.

'Many thanks to Four, Maria, and all others who tried out for leadership,' Max says. 'I'm sorry it didn't work out for you, but I know that other opportunities have arisen for you, and maybe you'll have another shot at leadership soon.'

At Four's face, I know that _'another shot at leadership' _isn't at all likely for him.

'And onto the rest of our new jobs!' There is a resounding cheer that all of us join in with. 'There are, I'm pleased to say, a record number out on patrol this year. Shauna, Nicole…'

Shauna and all of the other new Dauntless on patrol stand up, taking their place on the stage as Max rattles off a fairly long list of names.

'In the control room,' Max continues, 'Four, Zeke and Steph!' A Dauntless girl that I don't recognise, Four and I walk up to the stage, standing next to Shauna. She grins at us, and even Four smiles back. 'In charge of maintenance this year, there will be…'

I have to hide my smile. Everyone knows that maintenance is just the posh word for the janitors and cleaners.

Eventually, all of our initiates from this year are standing up on the stage, but Max hasn't finished. 'And finally, last but not least; our newest initiation instructor, Four!'

Four ducks his head, looking embarrassed. Shauna and I gently shove him forward to be acknowledged. He tries to step back, but we push him back to enjoy the applause for another few seconds. As soon as it starts to die, he quickly takes his spot back in the line. What is it that makes him hate the limelight so much? He's not shy in front of most people; maybe it was just sixteen years in his old faction.

'So let's have another round of applause for our Dauntless members who are now contributing to our faction!' The room fills with cheering again. Shauna, Four and I take our seats, and Marlene and Uriah congratulate us. Lynn smiles; her equivalent of a congratulations. She rarely speaks anymore.

'Are you looking forward to starting your jobs properly?' asks Marlene.

'Yeah, definitely,' Shauna says. 'It'll be the first time I go on patrol without about three others telling me what I have to do and not do. And it's getting warmer outside.' There's a light in her eyes. 'Did I tell you I'm learning to drive a truck?' She tells us about trucks and patrolling, waving her arms around animatedly to illustrate various points. Marlene and Uriah look interested; Lynn seems bored, but it's obvious she's listening.

As we walk back to the chasm after eating, I laugh at Marlene's ineffectual attempts to flirt with Four. It's blindingly obvious he's not interested, and yet she keeps walking too close to him, trying too hard to engage him in conversation. Shauna and I hang back, silently laughing, but Four doesn't seem to know what to do. He looks at us, and I give him my cheeriest smile and shrug, mouthing _sorry. _

When we reach the chasm, Marlene is still flirting with Four. She puts her hand on his arm, making him almost imperceptibly tense up. Lynn seems to decide enough is enough. 'Mar, stop flirting with him,' she snaps. 'Can't you see he's not interested? You're just acting like an idiot.'

Four shoots Lynn an almost grateful look. Marlene pouts, and Shauna grins at me. I try to stifle my laughter, knowing Marlene won't back off him any time in the near future.

At the end of the day, heading back to our room, I decide to tell Shauna what I should have told her a long time ago. 'Shauna?'

'Yes?'

'Um… I, um… Shauna, I really kind of like you,' I blurt out.

For a moment, she says nothing. Then she grins. 'I like you too, you know. I've liked you since we were fourteen.'

I consider leaving the conversation at that, but I know that I can't. 'Well, Shauna… would you like to be my girlfriend?' I ask quickly.

A second passes, and I don't know what she's going to say. Then her smile lights up her whole face. 'Yes,' she says. 'Zeke, I would _love _to be your girlfriend.'

**a/n: Okay, first of all I am so, so sorry for not updating. I just completely lost any ideas - taken a long time for me to be able to think again :P Second, there will be more updates from now on; I've hand-written out two more chapters but it's going to take me a while to type them up. Third, this chapter really, **_**really **_**needs a name, preferably a fairly short one. I've tried to sum up my chapters in as little words as possible for the chapter name, but I really have no idea where this one was going. And fourth, sorry if the ending was too fluffy!**

**So yeaah… Next chapter I'll be moving on to Abnegation for a couple of chapters - just thought it might be interesting. Character and plot suggestions welcome - I can include requests for characters.**

**To tristobias901, I have absolutely no idea how many chapters there will be, but probably quite a lot :)**

**And thank you so, so much for all the reviews. I know I've said this before, but you guys are absolutely awesome!**


	25. Eric: Secrecy

I jog through the corridors and hallways filled with Dauntless, back to my room, with one thought filling my mind.

I am now a leader of Dauntless.

All through initiation, there had always been a tiny, lingering doubt at the back of my mind. What if it didn't work? What if all of my plans had been for nothing? Worst of all, what if Tobias beat me to the leadership position?

But now I see that I shouldn't have worried. Jeanine said she would make sure I would become leader, and I have. I can trust what she says. She is an Erudite; someone clever and smart, just like I once wanted to be, a long time ago. There are no doubts in my mind anymore; she is worthy of my trust. She is in control of everything.

As I enter my room and sit down on my bed, not bothering to tidy up the clothes lying around, I remember that it is the sixth day of the second week this month; a very important day. I set my alarm for just after midnight; waking up at exactly midnight would be suspicious; and put it under my pillow to muffle the sound. I can't afford for anyone else to be awake when I am.

Tonight will be the night I sneak out of Dauntless to report to Jeanine in Erudite.

It is much easier, now that I am a member of Dauntless. I found it difficult to see her during initiation; initiates aren't allowed out of the compound; especially transfers, for fear that they might sneak out to their former faction and see their families. Although many would challenge an initiate on sneaking around at night, no one would challenge the new leader of Dauntless.

At least, I hope.

I don't allow myself to worry about sneaking out. It's easy, though I lose a lot of sleep, and I am a leader now; I can do anything.

Just after midnight, my alarm goes off. My hand shoots out to stop it, although I know no one will hear; I asked for a room alone. There was no one else I wanted to share with, no one else I knew well enough to sleep in the same room as.

When I had asked Max if there were any single rooms, he had given me an almost knowing look and said, 'You're the second person to ask me that.'

'Who else asked you?' I asked. I couldn't imagine any of the Dauntless-borns being alone; they are used to noise and people, and none of them could cope with being alone. That would leave the transfers.

'Four,' Max had said, like it was obvious.

Of course _Tobias _would. He is too antisocial to want to be with someone else; though for a few moments I thought he would have shared a room with Zeke and Shauna. But the Stiffs grow up in silence, and he is used to that quietness. I thought that he would try to cover up a lingering hint of Abnegation; but even the greatest people can be wrong sometimes.

Max had looked at his list. 'You're in luck; free single room, second floor, fifth one along. Sound okay to you?' I had nodded happily, hoping it was nowhere near Tobias but honestly not caring if it was.

I open my door quietly, locking it behind me and putting the key in my pocket. My shoes make strange, faint sounds on the floor; irrationally, I wonder if they are getting louder. Telling myself to calm down, I turn a corner; and bump into Tobias.

'What are you doing here?'

'What do you want?'

Our words overlap. 'You first,' I say to him. 'What are you doing? It's past midnight.'

'None of your business,' he says sharply. 'What are _you _doing out here?'

I'm not going to tell him what I'm really doing, but I haven't thought of a cover story. _Stupid. _I was arrogant enough to think that no one would bother me; I make a mental note to always think of a cover story, no matter how innocent the situation is. Instead, I focus on Tobias. The staircase he just came down doesn't lead to anything except-

'The fear landscape,' I say aloud. 'You were in your fear landscape, weren't you?' There was a haunted look in his eyes when he first walked into me; something that could only have come from facing his worst fears in a simulation. He says nothing, merely giving me a freezing glare, but I know by the look on his face that I'm right. 'Why would you do that?' I ask, genuinely curious for a few moments. I frown. 'Is it because you want to seem brave? Because it's not brave; it's just stupid.'

'I am flattered by your interest in my whereabouts at night and whether or not I face my worst fears,' he says sharply, his voice implying the exact opposite. I try to think of a smart remark to set him straight, but nothing comes out. He narrows his eyes at me. 'At least I'm not out visiting my Erudite buddies at night,' he continues.

_How does he know? _He is bluffing. He has to be bluffing. I can only hope that he is guessing, grasping at straws, rather than the alternate, which I would rather not think about. He has no concrete proof, but I can't help wondering all the same how much he knows. Is he bluffing, or is he holding this information above my head the way I do with his name?

'Well, I have better things to do than to talk to you all night,' I say, anxious to move onwards. Jeanine will be expecting me soon; I have lost valuable time talking to Tobias.

'What, like sharing Dauntless secrets with Erudite?'

I try to think of a devastating remark, but eventually just brush past him and continue onto Erudite headquarters.

'Oh, Eric. I was beginning to think that you had forgotten about our meeting.' Jeanine's voice, sharp as ever, is icy.

'Sorry,' I say. 'I was held up by Eaton. I didn't give anything away,' I add quickly. 'He was coming back from somewhere; I think it was the fear landscape, but I have no concrete proof.'

She types something into the computer. 'Yes; the fear landscape was entered twenty-seven minutes ago, lasting five minutes and thirty-eight seconds. I cannot access who it was entered by without looking suspicious, but that should be enough to determine who was in there.'

'Definitely Eaton,' I say. 'What were his fears?' I add, a little too eagerly. Jeanine doesn't answer, though I didn't expect her to. I am sure she knows; she saw one of his simulations, and she has access to the Dauntless records, but she doesn't divulge information without having a good reason to do so.

'So, about our current situation. You are now an official leader of Dauntless; am I correct?'

I nod. 'Was that because of you?'

'Only in part. It was due to your skill and bravery that Max thought to give you a chance; I merely made sure he would choose you as leader over his other candidates by telling you what to say.' She pauses. 'You are now a leader, and you have more power than most. What are your goals?'

'I want to make initiation a more competitive place,' I say confidently. 'Like I said at the interview. And I don't want Tobias to have his way with training.' Where I advocated for a limited amount of spots in Dauntless, and for the threat of factionlessness to be looming over the initiates at all times, Tobias wanted to take out the knife-throwing, and _prepare people physically and mentally. _It is obvious why Max chose me over him.

'Initiation is less than half a year away,' Jeanine says. 'That can be easily achieved. Now, I would like to talk about the rankings. Why do you think you came second?'

I have known that this conversation would come up. I expected, hoped, _wanted _to be first. No one remembers the second initiate; Tobias has gone down as Dauntless legend, not me. 'I don't know,' I say, 'but I want to find out. Either way… I know how I can be noticed again, and this plan will not fail.'

**A/N: Woop, 2nd chapter in a day. What do you think Eric's got up his sleeve? I already know, but take a guess! You may be closer to the truth than you think ^-^ **

**So about the chronology of this: Two chapters ago, Tobias, feeling overwhelmed by Zeke and Shauna's** **making gooey eyes at each other, went into his fear landscape. Eric, in this chapter, bumps into him just as he is coming out of the room, and they have a confrontation; this is why Tobias feels so shaken up and refuses to leave his room. Zeke tells him to come out and watch Uriah getting his first tattoo, and this is what I'll be focusing on in the next chapter. **

**In another simultaneous but completely separate timeline, Caleb met Emily three days ago, and has already fallen in love with the place. (Not with Emily… yet ^-^ But seriously, I haven't decided how far their relationship will go) I'll also be following that; Caleb still has one and a half years to go until his initiation, so it's too early for him to be making decisions… but yeah, thanks for reading :)**


	26. Caleb: Conflict

'Out of the way, Stiff!'

I have barely walked out of my classroom when three Dauntless; two boys and a girl; elbow me to the ground. I try to regain my balance; I need to get to Advanced Science early to make a good impression on the teacher; but another Dauntless brushes past me. I don't fall over, just lose my balance and slump against the wall, but it's enough to make me drop all of my books.

The crash is loud enough to attract unwanted attention. A few Abnegation stop to help me pick up my things, but most people just walk past me. This is what many Abnegation have to endure every day; I am just one amongst a sea of grey. They do not single me out because of who I am; merely because I am in their way, and I am a Stiff and therefore an easy target.

I see Beatrice hurry over to me, walking as fast as she can without running, because Abnegation do not run, and gently pull me up. 'Are you okay?' she asks. 'I saw them knock you down.'

'Fine, thanks,' I reply. 'Dad calls them hellions; I can see why.'

'They're not that bad,' she says. I am surprised; my sister, defending the Dauntless? 'Erudite are much worse.'

'No, they're not. They're clever, and-'

Beatrice hushes me before I can say anything else.

'Don't let anyone else hear you talking like that about the Erudite,' she says quietly. 'I have to go; see you at lunch.' I am about to open my mouth; there is more I want to say; but she hurries off.

I walk off to Advanced Science. I don't want to say anything that could get either of us into trouble; I know better, but I don't think she does. Sarcasm and scathing remarks are not appreciated in Abnegation; Beatrice is prone to using them a lot.

I watch her rapidly retreating figure turn a corner and disappear from sight, and turn the other way to get to my class. The classes have been rearranged since the half-year holiday; exactly half of the year since initiation has passed, and we have two weeks off school to remember that. The thought that I will be an initiate in only one and a half years makes me shiver; I try not to think about it.

I have been placed in almost all of the advanced classes, meaning I will not be with Beatrice for everything like last term. When I reach my class, the first thing I notice is that the room is almost completely filled with Erudite. There are a few Amity, two Candor, and a small gang of Dauntless who all seem to know each other, but they are the only ones from other factions.

I am the only Abnegation here.

I will myself not to panic. _Maybe there are others, and they just haven't arrived, _I think hopefully, but I can't convince even myself. How many other Abnegation will have been offered a place in Advanced Science, let alone accepted it? Many of them think that it's too Erudite to be in one advanced class, let alone all of them, and no self-respecting Abnegation would want to be seen as too Erudite. They all think it's a bad thing; but the Erudite is an amazing faction really. They don't deem books self-indulgent, and they embrace learning.

'Good morning, everyone,' says the teacher. She is dressed in Erudite blue, with large glasses and long hair. Almost all our teachers are Erudite, with the exception of a few who many think should be in Erudite. 'Sit down,' she continues.

We all obey, scrambling for seats. I take one at the front, whereas the Dauntless and Amity fight for seats at the back. I find myself sitting next to a tall, pretty Erudite girl. She smiles warmly, and I can't help but to give her a close-lipped Abnegation smile in return.

'How many of you are new to our class?' asks the teacher. I raise my hand, along with two Candor, an Amity and an Erudite. She asks us to introduce ourselves, and again I feel acutely aware of the fact that I am the only Abnegation here.

'Caleb, John, Molly, Mary, and Greg, you will have to catch up on the work we have been doing recently. Ask your friends… or the person sitting next to you.' I have a strange feeling that she only adds the last part for my convenience, as I am the only person who knows no one from this class.

The Erudite next to me nudges my elbow gently. 'I'll give you the revision notes - you know, if that's okay with you,' she whispers.

I nod. Less than five minutes into this class and I have already found a potential friend; today is going well. 'What's your name?' I ask, keeping my voice low.

'Emily,' she replies. It suits her, somehow.

'Today we'll be investigating the properties of sodium hydroxide,' the teacher says, and I lose myself in science for an hour.

When class is over, I find myself walking with Emily. We are in many of the same classes; both in all of the advanced ones; and agree to share revision notes. Somehow, I find myself agreeing to meet her after school, although I'm not allowed to stay out too late.

'What's it like in Abnegation?' she asks me.

I am thrown slightly by the question. 'Um, it's… it's quiet. Very simple. Peaceful, as well - not much changes. There are never usually many transfers from our faction; that boy Tobias from last year, he was the first Abnegation transfer in years.' I don't add that he might not be the last.

'Wow,' Emily says. 'Erudite is so different. Everything changes all the time. We have a lot of work to do; we're already working towards the Initiate Exam.' At my questioning look, she explains. 'It's an exam all Erudite have to take about three weeks before the Choosing Ceremony. If we pass it, it means we can stay in Erudite. If we don't, we have to choose another faction, no matter what our result was in the aptitude test.'

I raise my eyebrows. 'Nothing like that happens in Abnegation. Barely anyone becomes factionless or transfers.' No one leaves, though many people join us. Erudite is different; they embrace change, and we don't.

Maybe we should.

Emily smiles at me. 'So tell me about yourself. I don't know anything about you, and… I'd like to. I… I mean, if we're going to share revision notes, we - we might as well know some things about each other.'

I wonder if her interest is entirely driven by Erudite curiosity. 'Um… well…' I laugh nervously. 'You know, I've never done this before. Told people about myself, I mean.' We are supposed to forget ourselves, not tell people about ourselves.

'First time for everything,' she says, only seeming slightly surprised. 'Go on.'

'Um… I'm fourteen, I… I have a little sister; she's called Beatrice, do you know her?'

'Is she the one that watches the Dauntless every day in the morning?' asks Emily.

I grimace. 'That sounds exactly like her,' I say. Beatrice is not a typical Abnegation girl; sometimes she is too sharp and sarcastic for her own good. She struggles to act selflessly all the time, though I like to think I am teaching her. Watching the Dauntless every day is something that I know she would do.

A memory rises up inside me, of last year. I remember Beatrice pointing out the Dauntless leaping onto the train. She seemed fascinated by them, and yet couldn't understand why I preferred the Erudite. The Dauntless are uncoordinated and crazy; the Erudite walk into classes every morning from the library, as if they have been studying for hours already before school begins.

'Do you have any brothers or sisters?' I ask, trying to distract myself from these thoughts. I don't want to be thinking of Beatrice or myself; I should be thinking of Emily.

'I have a seventeen-year-old sister, and my brother is eight.'

'Did your sister… is she still in Erudite?' I don't mean to ask that question, but something makes me. Instead of giving me a strange look like any Abnegation would, she shakes her head.

'Amity,' she says quietly. 'I guess we all knew that she was going to transfer. She was smart enough for Erudite, no question,' Emily adds hastily, 'but it was obvious she didn't want to be here, that she didn't fit in. She watched the Amity all the time. I still see her sometimes; Erudite and Amity are on good terms, and it's a nice place.'

'Do you think you could fit in there?' I ask curiously. I don't know what has taken hold of me; I never usually ask questions like this. Abnegation don't ask questions; curiosity is foreign to them. I need to control my mind and thoughts.

'No,' she says instantly. After a small pause, she continues. 'It's a nice place, and I completely respect my sister's decision to do it, but… I know I could never be happy there. Since I was young, I've always wanted to be as smart as I can, and Amity isn't the place to do it.'

I nod. Maybe I should say something about Abnegation, but it doesn't seem like the right time. And besides, what would I say? 'What about your brother?' I ask instead.

'Oh, he's a true Erudite. Won't shut up about new things he's learned-' Emily is cut off by the bell. 'I'll tell you later… if that's okay? Do you want to meet up for lunch?'

_Abnegation and Erudite children do not meet up for lunch._

_What would Beatrice say?_

_I don't want inter-faction conflict._

_The Abnegation would be angry._

_What would the Erudite think?_

'Yes,' I say, smiling broadly. 'Definitely.'

**A/N: Oooh, love is in the air… Only kidding :) I haven't figured whether to give Emily a bigger role or not; I know that Susan liked Caleb, and he liked her, and I want to stick as closely to canon as possible. I kind of like Emily, and I think Caleb likes her; platonically, at least for now. Three questions regarding her; should Emily get a bigger role? Should they like each other romantically? And do you want an Emily pov, or should I stick to canon characters? I'm a bit wary of OCs, so I could really use the advice.**

**Who spotted the Sherlock reference?! Sorry, but I just couldn't resist! **

**Regarding future POVs, I'm going to kind of skip around factions for a while until the next initiation starts, which won't be too long, but I still need suggestions/requests for them. Chapters will hopefully become more frequent now that I kind of know what I'm doing and where I'm going with this.**

**Thanks to Blue Alaskan Wolf for giving me an idea - you mentioned that we don't know where Lauren gets her fears from, and I'm thinking I might try to go into that. Also to Savanah Rose for the last chapter's title: 'Changes'. And thanks to everyone who's reviewed/followed/faved - more chapters to follow fairly soon :)**


	27. Beatrice: Rivals

When I walk to the canteen for lunch with Susan and Robert, the first thing I notice is that Caleb is already there, sitting at our usual table near the back. And he's not alone. He's with a girl; but that isn't the thing that makes me stop short. He's not with an Abnegation girl.

The girl is from Erudite.

A blue-clothed girl from Erudite, sitting next to him - in _my _seat - and he's smiling, they're smiling about something, and then they're smiling at each other. The collision of worlds is so strange I have to look twice, but they're still there, a blue-clothed girl and a grey-clothed boy, something I never even dreamed of.

I'm not the only one who's noticed. Susan and Robert are frowning at them. I am sure my face is going red with anger; Susan must see, because she takes my arm and pulls me away gently to get some food. Am I mistaken, or is there a look of jealousy in her eyes? It must be a trick of the light. Susan does not get jealous.

'Let's sit with them,' Robert suggests quietly. Susan nods, and I follow them. When Caleb sees us, he beckons us over with a wave. The girl gives us a tentative smile that I return just as tentatively. If Caleb likes her, maybe she's nice. Susan evidently doesn't think so; she is frowning slightly.

'Hello,' the girl says. Robert, Susan and I bow our heads; a typical Abnegation greeting meant in respect. Caleb returns the gesture, and I feel strangely relieved. We have all heard the stories of those who abandon their faction's customs in order to impress people from other factions. I never thought Caleb would be the same, and I am glad to see he is not.

'This is Emily,' Caleb says. Susan looks critically at her; a typical Erudite, she has large glasses, short dark cropped hair and brown eyes, and she stands tall.

'Love is in the air,' I grin. Caleb shoots me a warning look, and I stop smiling abruptly. He is telling me that this is not how Abnegation act. Abnegation do not tease each other, or laugh at each other, or make fun of each other; especially not in public. Emily looks flustered.

'No, that's not… we're not, I mean I'm not…'

I smile. 'Don't worry; I know. He's my brother; I'm just messing with you.'

Recognition sparks in her eyes. 'You're Beatrice? Caleb told me about you?'

Caleb winces as I shoot him my best death glare, one that I have seen the Dauntless using many times. Rearranging my features into a pleasant mask, I look at Emily again. 'Good things, I hope,' I say, keeping my voice light.

She grins. 'Yes - mostly.'

'So…' I try to find a way of asking the only question on my mind without seeming too rude. 'So… what's with the two of you?' I gesture to her and Caleb, sitting a little too close together considering that they are from two rival factions. Susan still looks unhappy; Robert just seems worried.

'No, we're not… we just met in Advanced Science class. We have to share revision notes,' Emily explains. 'We don't…'

I nod. We spend the rest of our meal in silence as is typical of most Abnegation. Emily looks slightly awkward, but I am not selfless enough to try and break the silence and start a conversation. Emily is an Erudite, and we have been taught since we were young to be wary of the Erudite.

When the meal finishes, Emily jumps up, looking a little too eager to get going. As Abnegation, it is custom for us to wait for each other; Emily waits with us, but it is obvious that she is only really waiting for Caleb.

I spend all of my afternoon classes thinking about them. Caleb, my selfless Abnegation brother, with an Erudite, someone from the worst faction of all. Erudite are arrogant know-it-alls; what does he see in her? They are the faction our father has told us not to associate with, let alone eat lunch with. Emily insists nothing is going on between them, but I don't really trust either of them; I've seen the way they look at each other.

And Susan seemed genuinely jealous. I have never seen her like that before, in all the years I've known her. Does she really like Caleb? How long has it taken me to notice that? We have known each other's families for as long as I can remember, and many have assumed that I would marry Robert when I was older, and Susan and Caleb would end up together as well. But did I really believe these rumours? Did any of us?

I walk home with Susan and Robert in near silence; Caleb is nowhere to be seen. He is not at the school gates like he usually is, and none of the other Abnegation have seen him. Eventually Susan decides that he can find his own way home; we have better things to do than wait for him. I know she is still angry with Caleb; I am, too, though I don't know whether or not I would admit it.

After saying goodbye to Robert and Susan, I walk into an empty house. Too late, I remember that my parents are at a government meeting and will not be back for hours. I remember my parents telling me to take Caleb to Millennium Park or another nice place, as the weather is getting warmer.

Instead, I start to prepare dinner.

When Caleb walks through the door, almost two hours later, I turn around and hold his barely apologetic gaze. He is the one to look away first, dropping his schoolbag on the floor with a heavy thud.

'Where have you been?' I ask quietly, not bothering to disguise my anger, irrational though it is.

'Out,' he replies casually.

'_Out?' _I repeat disbelievingly. 'Just out?'

'Yes,' he says calmly. 'Just out.'

'It was your turn to prepare dinner!' I say angrily, though we both know that isn't really what I'm angry at. We often switch turns to prepare meals; behind our parents' backs, though, as we know they wouldn't like it.

He winces. '_Damn, _I forgot about that. I am so sorry,' he says sincerely, and I almost believe him. 'I was out, alright?'

'For two hours.' Then I realise. 'You were with Emily, weren't you?'

He says nothing, but the look on his face is enough. 'God knows what you were doing; I don't even want to know,' I add as Caleb opens his mouth. 'She's an _Erudite, _Caleb. Nothing good can come out of this, whether you're in love or not.' I throw the last part in casually, but of course he notices.

'It's _platonic,' _he says. I frown questioningly, and he explains. 'Not romantic or sexual.'

'Stop with all the long words,' I say. 'You're beginning to act like an Erudite.' It is meant to hurt him, and it does; I don't apologise. I don't want to apologise. It's also true; I have never known or heard of an Abnegation spending time with an Erudite, especially voluntarily, and using words like Caleb does.

'Look, I'll take over the dinner, okay?'

'No, it's okay. You can do it tomorrow.'

'Thank you,' he says, more out of politeness than anything else. 'I'll… I'll just get on and do my homework.' I raise my eyebrows again; I didn't get any homework today, and he adds, 'Advanced classes. Lots to catch up on.'

Maybe he expects me to say something. I don't; I just continue chopping vegetables, listening to his footsteps fading away up the stairs. I hear the heavy thud of him setting down his bag again and wonder how many books the Advanced classes need.

Taking deep breaths to calm myself, I turn back to the stove.

**A/N: Another update! I'm getting better at this updating thing! It's awesome that so many of you got the Sherlock reference :) Thank you for your reviews and faves, and also all of the ideas for Emily. I don't think I'll do an Emily POV just yet, though it's not completely out of the question. **

**Which is your favourite chapter so far? I think my best-written one is chapter 14 (Eric: Rankings) but I haven't really decided on a favourite. I would love to know what you think!**

**Also, if funny things happen to the first three chapters, I'm sorry; I'm going to completely change them. To be frank, I think my writing style then was utter crap. It was too fragmented and just kind of weird; I don't like it at all. I think it started picking up by chapter 4-5, and to be honest I think it's getting much better. What do you think?**

**Last thing - I would love to see what you think! Was it too obvious that Beatrice and Caleb didn't fit in Abnegation? Whose POV should I do next? Could anything have been done better? Bye :)**


	28. Four: Shadows

The door to the training room creaks open, and Shauna and Zeke step in, seeming vaguely surprised to see me here already. It is early in the morning, and most sane people in Dauntless are asleep.

'What are you guys doing here?' I ask.

Their relationship became official yesterday. It was no surprise, although they obviously thought that it would be. Everyone who knew them knew that this was going to happen, and that it was just a matter of time; it was obvious, and still is, in the way that they look at each other, the way that they smile at each other. They are perfect for each other, and I am glad that they have realised it.

I try to be happy for them; I try.

Something has already changed in the dynamic of their relationship. The way that they look at each other when they're around other people unnerves me; they share smiles and secret looks that make me suddenly want to leave the room. It makes me feel like an outsider, someone who has no right to be where they are.

I am familiar with the feeling.

Sometimes, I long for the closeness that Zeke and Shauna have with each other. I want to be able to whisper something into someone's ear and make them laugh, I want to be able to show them all of the places in the chasm that have yet to be discovered. I want to be able to walk with them, and feel something other than this heavy aching emptiness that follows me around every day.

But there is no one I know, no one I trust enough for any of this. Not like Shauna and Zeke, not like the many other couples in Dauntless. Who can I trust enough to tell about me? How can I know that they will not be disgusted by the scars Marcus has left, both mentally and physically?

I try to avoid thinking about it.

'Just, um…' Shauna looks at Zeke and grins, and I suddenly feel a rush of… _something, _whether it's jealousy or anger or tiredness or just a feeling of being somewhere very, very far away. 'We couldn't sleep. What about you?'

'Fear landscape,' I reply shortly. Nothing has changed; I didn't expect it to.

Zeke looks at me worriedly. 'Is that normal? I mean-'

Shauna cuts him off with a warning glance. 'Do you do that a lot?'

How can I tell her that I do it almost every night without fail? I stopped for a few days after Amar died, but it didn't take long for me to fall back into a rhythm. I don't want Zeke's pitying look, or Shauna's sympathetic one. I know that it is their natural response to feel sorry for me; I am the Stiff with the messed-up childhood; but they do not need to know that I go into my fear landscape every night, or that I have injected myself with fear serum so many times that the ache of the needle no longer bothers me.

But then I meet Shauna's eyes, and something prompts me to tell the truth. 'Yeah,' I say. 'Quite a lot.'

Zeke starts to say something, but again, Shauna cuts him off. 'You okay, Four?' she says, and I know she isn't just asking about me being up early.

_Well, I have such a messed-up childhood that I can't stop confronting my worst fears; I know Eric's up to something, but telling someone that would reveal how much I know; my mother, who abandoned me and left me with a sadistic maniac, wants me to join her in doing something that can and will tear the factions apart; and Eric has promised to keep an eye on me during training. God knows what that means. Oh, and I haven't slept for days because the voices in my head won't shut up._

'I'm absolutely fine,' I say. Maybe I should stay and say something else, reassure them that I am not losing my mind yet, but Zeke takes Shauna's hand, and they look at each other, and I know that they are happy together, but it suddenly brings back the feeling of being very, very far away.

'I need to go,' I add, and brush past them. The door slams on my way out; I forgot to close it quietly, and I don't want to.

I'm going into my fear landscape again.

'Hey, Four!' Zeke shouts from outside my room. 'You in there?'

I abruptly stop pacing around, standing as still as I would when Marcus would call to me. For a moment, I wonder if Shauna is with him. I debate staying silent, waiting for him to give up and leave. Now that they know I go to my fear landscape more than I let on, maybe they will assume I am there. The Dauntless compound is big enough and busy enough that he will assume I am somewhere else if he cannot find me easily.

But I know that I can't do that. 'Yeah, I'm here,' I call.

The door opens, and Zeke walks in. Shauna follows him. They are holding hands.

I have never understood the point of holding hands. In Abnegation, physical contact is limited; we do not hold hands casually. _They _do not hold hands casually, I remind myself; I am not one of them anymore, not with their passive half-smiles and quiet selflessness.

That is not a hard thing to remember.

'You've been a bit down lately,' says Shauna. 'Are you sure everything's okay?'

'Everything's fine.' It comes out much sharper than I intended it to. How can I tell her that nightmares of my father have been haunting my dreams? And why would I want to? 'I'm just tired,' I add quietly. It is the truth, though not the whole of it. I haven't slept for days; I have been up all night pacing around my room, throwing possessions at the wall, running to the other end of the city and back, all in a vain effort to stop myself walking up to the fear landscape room. It never works; after everything, no matter how tired I am, my nights end by facing my worst fears.

What would Amar say? He would call me masochistic, explosive, unstable; but I am. What would he think of me now?

I don't care.

Why should I care what he would say? He's dead, and it's Eric's fault. I can't sleep for fear of what will sneak into my dreams; and yet I care about what he would have said.

'Oh, okay,' says Shauna. She doesn't seem convinced in the slightest, but Zeke does. For once, I am grateful for how easy he is to deceive; I feel guilty, but not guilty enough to tell him the truth.

'So we came to tell you that Uri's getting a tattoo; his first one,' Zeke says, 'and we thought you'd want to come along and see it.' There is a distinct note of pride in his voice, and I wonder how he feels; a tattoo in Dauntless is a symbol of growing up, of coming of age. What is it like, watching your sibling grow up? Watching them grow from a young child into a teenager, and ultimately into an adult?

It's not like I would know.

**A/N: Sorry about the semi-crap ending; couldn't think of anything else, and am in a huge hurry right now. It's exam month (yes, a whole goddamn month dedicated to exams and tests and ISAs and GSCEs [all mock]) and I wrote this at the end of a chemistry exam. I'm going to update Eric's chapter, but it's going to be shifted so it's the one before this. When I update the next chapter, it'll be chapter 27 rather than 28.**

**I'll write a proper a/n later - thanks for bearing with me :)**


	29. Caleb: Forbidden Thoughts

_'Where have you been?' Beatrice's voice is quiet, but I don't make the mistake of overlooking her fury. Abnegation do not get angry; but when they do, they do not need to raise their voice in order to show their anger. Beatrice is no exception._

_'Out,' I say. Does she need to know what I've really been doing? She will be furious at me, even more furious than she is now. Logically, I should tell her the truth now; if it comes out later, it will cause even more trouble. But I can't tell her where I have been. If it comes out later, I'll deal with it then._

_'Out?' she repeats angrily, and I feel a twinge of regret. I don't like lying to her._

_'Yes,' I say as calmly as I can. 'Just… just out.'_

_'It was your turn to prepare dinner!' she says. For a moment, I am surprised by the anger in her voice, but I realise that she's not angry about that. We cover for each other all the time, especially when preparing meals. Our parents don't know and wouldn't approve, but we don't tell them. We are not in Candor._

_I wince. 'Damn, I forgot about that.' I try to sound as sincere as possible, but judging by the look she gives me, she doesn't believe me. I didn't forget; I remembered after barely half an hour, but I relied on her to cover for me. 'I was out, alright?' I just want her to believe me._

_'For two hours,' she says, and I am so surprised I say nothing. Was it really that long? It can't have been. I was only with Emily for… less than two hours. It has to have been. The look of realisation on her face shocks me. 'You were with Emily, weren't you?'_

_I say nothing as she continues to talk. 'God knows what you were doing.' I open my mouth to reassure her - I wasn't doing anything bad - but she cuts me off. 'I don't even want to know. She's an Erudite, Caleb.' _I know that. _'Nothing good can come out of this… whether you love her or not.' She adds the last part almost trying to sound like an afterthought, but I know that she has been thinking about this for a while; too long. _

_'It's platonic,' I reply, instantly regretting my choice of words. _Stupid, _I think; using words I learned today in my advanced language classes will not be a good way to stop an argument. 'Not romantic or sexual,' I add, but my voice sounds too patronising and condescending. _

_The outcome is exactly as I thought. 'Stop with all the long words. You're beginning to act like an Erudite,' she says bitterly. The insult hits the intended mark, and I involuntarily flinch. _

_'Look, I'll take over the dinner, okay?' Defensive, too defensive. My tone of voice will aggravate her even more._

_'No, it's okay,' she replies sharply. 'You can do it tomorrow.'_

_'Thanks,' I say, and then flinch. Abnegation never say 'thanks'; they say 'thank you', in a polite tone of voice. I clench my fists and hope that Beatrice is too angry to notice; she is, and I begin to back out of the room. 'I'll… I'll just get on and do my homework.' When she raises her eyebrows, I add, 'Advanced classes. Lots to catch up on.' She says nothing, and I feel a flash of guilt sharper than anything I have felt before. Lying to my sister… that is low, by any faction's standards._

_It doesn't matter, though. I'll make it up to her later. _

'Today's homework will be page two hundred and twenty one, exercise B. I want you to read the paragraph _properly _before you start to answer the questions - I don't want anyone coming to me tomorrow and telling me they didn't understand because they only skim-read the page, okay?'

Our teacher's voice is drowned out by the class talking as I write down the page numbers. I am the only one who does this; everyone else remembers, but we have had so much homework recently that I don't trust myself to remember. Making a good impression on the teacher is much more important than showing off my memory capacity to the others in my class.

'What've you got next?' Emily has walked up to me without me seeing; I jump at the sound of her voice, and she laughs softly. Then she takes a closer look at my hand. 'Too much homework to remember?' she asks.

I look at my hand; it is covered in black writing listing all the homework we have and the dates that they are due for; and nod, laughing slightly.

Emily frowns. 'Isn't that bad for your skin?'

'No,' I say. 'Well, not really. It's only bad if I use a permanent pen; they have xylene in them, and although that's only usually harmful if it's inhaled, it takes quite a lot of xylene to harm someone. And most permanent pens use an alcohol-based substance, I think; which isn't as bad. I researched it last week.'

Emily grins at me. I frown. 'What?'

'You just sounded like an Erudite,' she smiles. 'Never thought I'd see the day when an Abnegation acted like an Erudite. Anyway, are you using a permanent pen?'

I open my mouth to reply, but my brain is working at top speed. The way she talked about me being like an Erudite… it was almost like a compliment. I remember Beatrice last night; _'You're beginning to act like an Erudite.' _It was meant to hurt, and it did. But this… Emily seemed… almost _happy. _It wasn't an insult… unless she was being sarcastic? But she doesn't sound sarcastic in the slightest.

'Oh… um… no, I'm not using a permanent pen. It's just one that I found in my house; we don't have any permanent pens.' I know why; it is because Abnegation believe that nothing is permanent, and that generic pens work just as well as permanent pens. I am doing nothing wrong, a statement that would be questionable at the least if I had used a permanent pen.

I am doing nothing wrong.

'So what class do you have next?' asks Emily. 'I was going to ask earlier, but you distracted me.' She is smiling, I notice. I try not to notice how close she is standing to me; barely eight inches away; and instead focus on her words.

'Um… Advanced Maths,' I say.

'Lucky,' she says wistfully. 'I've got Faction History. Want to meet up afterwards? As a reward for surviving today?' We both have relatively uninteresting lessons today, though, being Abnegation, I should not admit that.

'Same time, same place?' I ask hopefully.

She grins and nods. 'See you there,' and I feel a rush of excitement; the thrill that comes from doing something strictly forbidden. It isn't just that the Abnegation and Erudite are supposed to hate each other, or that the Abnegation must be home earlier, or even any of the thousand other reasons that I could think of for why I shouldn't be with Emily any more than is strictly necessary; it is the fact that I am doing something I love with someone I trust. Does it matter that I am not supposed to be doing it?

_Of course it does, _says the little voice in my head.

I know that it is only my mind being logical, but I turn my thoughts to the only thing that can calm me down. _We have a maths test today; what do I need to know? _

Slowly, I mentally recite the rules and equations I need to know, and my mind slows down. I know that I cannot avoid thinking about Emily, nor do I want to, but I have to stop thinking about her.

'Caleb!'

An excited female voice cuts through my thoughts. Beatrice? It can't be Beatrice; she knows that she must not use that tone of voice, no matter where she is or that no one recognises her here.

Emily, then.

Her excitement is infectious, and I find myself grinning back at her. 'Emily! Come on! No time to waste. I've told Beatrice that I have an extra class,' it's not a _complete _lie, after all, 'I think she believes me, but I'll have to get back as fast as I can. She's already annoyed at me as it is.' _Shut up, Caleb. Stop rambling. _I ramble when I get nervous; it is a trait that I share with my father, and one that I detest.

Emily laughs breathlessly; she has obviously been running; and I follow her to the place where I have been going since I met Emily.

The Erudite library.

It is a spectacular place; so big I could lose myself in there for hours. There are books lining every space possible on the walls; there are ladders available to reach the highest books. There are more rooms, more floors than I can count; Emily tells me that the authorities had told the Erudite that they had to stop expanding the library, because they were taking up far too much space, but then someone had the bright idea of building underground. The authorities could find nothing wrong with this, and had to allow it. Ever since then, the library has been continually expanding.

But the thing I love most is the stillness and the quiet. I know that I could find exactly the same level of noise in Abnegation, but in Erudite, it is different. The atmosphere is energetic and… the only word I can think of is _uplifting. _It is a place I have fallen in love with, a place that I feel I could spend my life in. Everyone in the library is amazing; they are clearly so passionate about their studies, and it is somewhere I feel I could belong, somewhere where knowledge is power, and encouraged; somewhere where I can take out as many books as I want and can read them for hours without being teased as a know-it-all.

These forbidden thoughts are becoming more frequent.

I must stop thinking about them.

I cannot stop thinking about them.

It was Emily's idea. I mentioned in passing that Abnegation only have a very small library, and I have read every book in there more times than I can count. She described her library to me, sounding so passionate that I knew I had to see it, no matter what it took. We compared libraries; where Abnegation can only take out one book at a time, Erudite can take as many as they want. Where Abnegation must not read too much, for fear of being reprimanded or scorned, an Erudite will only be reprimanded or scorned if they do not read.

I wasn't surprised when we agreed that Erudite's library came out on top.

Erudite is big enough that no one in the faction can know everyone. Emily gave me her brother's clothes, and for a few hours, I fell in love with Erudite's library. I knew that I could not do this more than once; but I also knew that I had to.

When Beatrice shouted at me for being _just out, _I knew that I had to take whatever insults she threw at me, because I was in a place where I had no right to be.

When she told me I was beginning to act like an Erudite, I knew that although she didn't mean it as a compliment, I took it as one.

When she didn't believe me when I told her about how much homework I had, I knew that she was right; I wanted to lock myself in my room and read for hours. Homework could wait.

I do not know what I am doing; but I know that it has to stop.

**A/N: I am surprised at this chapter. To be honest, I think it's one of the best ones I've written. What do you think? Although the jury is still out on my opinion of Caleb, I absolutely love getting into his mind and writing about him. I wanted to explore his fascination with the Erudite that could have ultimately led to him leaving Abnegation; I'm still not sure what's going to happen with Emily, though.**

**Also: another subtle Sherlock reference; this time a little harder to get. Couldn't resist... and for any non-Sherlockians, near the start of chapter 25 (Caleb: Conflict) the teacher mentions 'Caleb, John, Molly, Mary, and Greg' as those who are new to her class. The latter four characters are characters from BBC Sherlock, which is an awesome show that I would recommend to everyone :)**

**What do you think? Thank you SO MUCH for all the reviews, follows and faves; they mean more than I can say, and they really keep me going. :) Also, suggestions welcome! Next up will probably be Zeke; who do you want after that? :)**


	30. Chapter 30

**Hello! I'm sorry if you guys don't like chapters devoted to author's notes, but this has to happen, otherwise you won't be reading all of the chapters... I have four chapters that need to be put before the latest ones - here's how it will go.**

**When you see an update, read the first chapter - Tori: Divergent - that'll be changed significantly. **

**Then there'll be a complete revision of the next two chapters - Marcus: Choices, (I changed the chapter name as well) and Amar: Welcome to Dauntless. **

**Then I'm going to update a chapter of Amar, just before Amar: Simulation - it's going to be called Amar: Visiting Day. This is going against my thing of not putting the same POV twice in a row, but I can't think of any way to rearrange the chapters, so there's going to be a new chapter in between the Amar ones. Any suggestions? I was thinking Peter, Christina, possibly Al - can you guys tell me the one you'd most like to see? It doesn't have to be anything I've already mentioned!**

**Also, if you're wondering why I'm changing all of these, it's because I am seriously unimpressed by my writing then; it's just way too fragmented for my liking and just not as good as I hoped. However, I'm pretty proud of how much it's improved since I started this - the chapters I'm the most proud of are chapter 10 (Simulation), chapter 12 (memories), and both of Caleb's chapters. Which chapters do you like the most?**

**Thanks for reading! The next chapters will be up in a few days, I hope! This note will be taken down as soon as I get all four new chapters up :)**

**EDIT: The first chapter's up now!**


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